Newbie with a big problem... so it is going to be long...

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

<p>Hi. Sorry that this has to be an introduction and a cry for help, but I'm just not sure what to do.</p>

<p>We are Canadian, and my daughter is at a boarding school in Ontario, while I live out west. She is 14 years old, and in Grade 9. Last year she went to a great school on Vancouver Island, but sadly they closed down due to money pressures. A bunch of the kids from that school are at the new school.</p>

<p>She is having the WORST time at the new school :(</p>

<p>First off everything is new, and she had a hard time with the adjustment. I expected that, like I expected the calls begging to come home etc. and figured everything would work itself out like it did last year. Maybe with a few more roadbumps, but she has always been a good student, who is fun to be in class with.</p>

<p>But it hasn't sorted itself out. She is failing one class, and squeaking by in the other two core subjects. Though as always is doing great in Art. And the core subject teachers are all saying that she is miserable and is "dragging the class down." (Science teacher's words).</p>

<p>The school didn't tell me that anything was wrong until the middle of October, and since then I have been disappointed in thier response.</p>

<p>I was told in October that she would be put on "academic probation" automatically if she got less than 70% on her midterms, and that they would find her tutors in any classes that she was struggling with.</p>

<p>It is now the first week of December, and final exams are less than two weeks away, and they have not yet set up the tutor in two of the classes (including the one she is failing) and the student tutor in math has only been helping her for a week now.</p>

<p>It took them until last week to get the "academic probation" in place as well (FOUR weeks after report cards). This probation is supposed to limit her time outside of dorms, and provide a more supervised homework schedule, but so far they don't seem to enforcing the homework, though they are enforcing not being allowed out of dorms.</p>

<p>The principle was supposed to meet with my daughter and the dorm coordinator last week, but when I emailed to ask how it went she told me that the dorm coordinator had met with my daughter alone. But my daughter said that meeting didn't occur.</p>

<p>I feel like they are letting her fall through the cracks. I don't even know who to talk to about this at the school because it seems like everyone from the principle down is saying it is someone else's fault. </p>

<p>Any suggestions?</p>

2

<p>I feel badly that no one has responded. I am certainly no expert, but since you asked for suggestions - I'll tell you what I would do. I would pull her out of the school. It sounds to me like she is really suffering in more ways than one. (I too have a 14 year old daughter in boarding school, and also a 16 year old daughter at home.)</p>

3

<p>I agree with PhotoOp. If the situation is as you describe, then the School is doing a horrendous job. I would pull her and find a new, better place that leverages her skills, interests and personality. However, if she is a toxic character and you're wearing parental blinders, that's a whole different problem, although a new School should still be the goal.</p>

4

<p>I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. My inclination, based only on what you have written is that this is not the place for your daughter.</p>

5

<p>They have promised certain actions, and have not followed through. They either believe it's not worth expending extra effort to salvage your daughter's career at their school, or they're too disorganized to enact the plan of action they set out.</p>

6

<p>I am the last one to recommend removing a child from BS in the first semester, but in this case the administration is clearly NOT doing their job. That irresponsibility is probably indicative of failings in other areas. Supervision? Attention to eating disorders? Discipline? Tutoring?</p>

<p>Seems like there is too much that is not right. If I were you I would call the principal and tell her/him that you are ready to remove your child unless the situation is addressed immediately and appropriately. That gives them about 2 weeks to get it fixed.</p>

<p>If they don't straighten out the problems, Christmas vacation provides a good natural break to end it. Plenty of kids wind up at new boarding schools for the winter/spring term due to various issues, so you may have luck placing her somewhere else if it comes to that.</p>

7

<p>Thanks everyone, I know it is hard from such a short (! lol) summary to give advice.</p>

<p>The school has set up a tutor in the two other classes now, and I want to give that a couple of weeks to see where it is going.</p>

<p>Unfortunately while the exams are before Christmas the term actually doesn't end until Jan 15th, and she would loose what ever marks from homework she could get in those two weeks if she doesn't go back.</p>

<p>I'm still up in the air about what to do, but do know that IF she stays I will be MUCH more involved with her teachers and the administration. But at the same time I am looking for alternative schools to see if we can find one that will be a better fit.</p>

8

<p>Hope things have improved! Keep us posted.</p>

9

<p>Hi OP,
Just wondering how your daughter is doing and if she is happier now? Well wishes to your D and your family for a happy new year!</p>

10

<p>Well, today was the last day of the first semester. On Tuesday I got emails from two of her teachers (the first I had heard from one them since mid November) complaining about unfinished homework. I had been very clear with them that I wanted to be informed if they/she were still having issues.</p>

<p>I am really disappointed with the teachers for leaving it until four days before the end of term to tell me they were still having problems. I kept getting "things are going better" emails, and then all of a sudden to get two emails about three classes that basically said "things are bad" made me furious!</p>

<p>Thankfully, she told me that she has spent this week 'catching up' and by yesterday had handed much of it in. Still, her grades will be affected, and not anywhere close to what I know she could do.</p>

<p>Sadly at home, here, all the schools are on full year (all classes run from Sept - June) while her school is semestered (Sept-Jan, Jan-June) so coming home would be very hard on her, so we are kind of stuck. </p>

<p>I'm hoping that with the new semester starting that she can have a bit of a fresh start and I plan on getting in touch with all the new teachers next week. And then next year I think she is coming home. A sad ending to what started out to be a great experience last year at her old school.</p>

11

<p>Boarding schools are selling a product - superior education and superior college admissions. They tilt the playing field by admitting and keeping superior, low maintenance students who can care of themselves. Despite verbiage to the contrary, Boarding Schools usually would rather that a struggling student left. Easier for everyone all around.</p>

12

<p>Toadstool--I'm glad my son is not at a school like that! Folks, top tier schools are excellent in many ways, but the second tier can be a more pleasant place to live and grow up!</p>