<p>My daughter just returned from her 2nd OV and absolutely loves this school. Now remember, she absolutely loved the first school she visited two weeks ago and was ready to sign on the dotted line! But she had very good answers as to why she loves this school and thinks it is a great fit for her, so I am satisfied that the love is real. The coach talked to her about ED and told her how many apps could be supported ED with a Likely Letter. Also said they had seen "99%" of their recruits, but a couple are coming the end of the week and they would be making decisions after that. Coach asked for her to think about it a day or two and get back with him. She did tell the recruiting coach that she loves the school and it was at the top of her list. </p>
<p>So, Nov. 1st is fast approaching. My daughter has an OV to a NLOI school scheduled for Nov. 5th, the last weekend before early signing. She just got the travel info and needs to confirm. If she verbals and applys ED by Nov. 1 to Ivy, she will not go on the Nov. 5th OV. How long should she put off confirming travel to school three? They have bent over backwards to get her there, so she would feel really awful about them purchasing tickets for her and then not going.</p>
<p>Fishy
This sounds great!
Until she has a firm offer from School B’s coach and is offered a LL, I think she has to move ahead with School C’s OV plans…
I realize too she is expecting to hear from School A–and that they were finishing their recruiting weekends–she could get that call/offer as well!</p>
<p>Some have said it here–until the kid has someting, they have nothing.
So perhaps until she’s got a firm offer and a LL, or an offer with school A with great $…then she needs to follow up with School C’s OV… </p>
<p>It will be OK to cancel the last OV at the last minute if she gets a LL from the school she loves. It would be better for the school and coach of this last one for her not to come out, if she’s already decided to go somewhere else. Even if it’s last minute, they will deal with it. You’re not the first to having the timing turn out less than ideal. It would be worse for your daughter to show up, have to fake interest, or tell the truth about the fact that she’s not really available, and so on. It’s an awkward phone call, but everyone understands this situation.</p>
<p>^ Yes Riverrunner is right…
If school B offers the LL in time for ED, than it will be before she goes on the school Cs OV…
River makes a good point–best to not have her go if she has committed…</p>
<p>Did the coach give an indication of how fast they will move once the list is done?
Would she hear by mid next week? Your problem is - your DD cannot ignore school C’s recent email/call with Ov details for an entire week…</p>
<p>fish: this is what your daughter does: “Coach asked for her to think about it a day or two and get back with him”…when she gets back to the coach she says, “I want to be on your team”. and then she asks the coach, “do I have your support?” If the answer is YES, she’s in!</p>
<p>Awesome news. Yes, agree with pacheight on this. If OV2 is where she wants to go, tell coach “I want to be on your team”, and ask “Do I have your support?”. If the answer is anything but, “Yes”, I would proceed with the rest of your plans and continue to pursue OV1, and OV3 vigorously as well as any other schools. </p>
<p>Nov 1 is coming up quick, and things are moving fast. Don’t worry, it will slow down if you apply ED. That 6 week wait seems like an eternity. Your coach will most likely be sensitive to this and send you notes during that 6 weeks. We got one that asked what hat size and shoe size he was…clearly a signal that he was in. We found out later his coach knew for a month but couldn’t say anything.</p>
<p>Good luck! I’ve got my fingers crossed for your daughter!</p>
<p>Thanks for the replys. My daughter emailed coach at OV3 about her travel and we are proceeding as usual. She will email head coach at OV2 this afternoon and let them know she loves the school and wants to be on the team. Hopefully, she will get a better idea of where she stands then. Still waiting to hear from OV1, and a 4th school has come in to play. This is a school that was on her safety list, where she would get good merit aid. She is not sure if she wants to schedule an OV there or not. She does not want to miss anymore school if she can help it. </p>
<p>So, we will see what happens in the next week or so.</p>
<p>^agree. When she contacts the coach at OV2 to express her undying love and devotion to the school, that is best done by phone. Plus she can get immediate feedback from the coaches tone and response.</p>
<p>I’m sure there are some parents who won’t agree with what I’m going to say here, but here goes: </p>
<p>If you, the parent, have any doubt about whether your child will be able to read what the coach is saying in response to her declaration, I would recommend that you get involved in the phone conversation. I know we all preach letting the kid take the lead on all this, and I think you’ve done a great job with this. However, there isn’t really a substitute for the wisdom you might be able to bring to the table at this time.</p>
<p>There are hard questions to be asked, and some people (not just kids) are not great at detecting subtle signals and then asking follow-up questions to make sure they fully understand what is being said. At least my kids at age 17 took most conversations at face-value and were sometimes too intimidated by the adult to take the time and effort to ask the right questions and really hear the answers. </p>
<p>Obviously, I don’t know you or your child, so I may be way off track here, but I can say when we got down to this point of the negotiations, I finally got on the phone with the coach and asked the questions I needed to ask to feel comfortable with things. I don’t regret that. Coaches don’t want parents to manage their kid’s lives in college and want to be sure the kid can function independently. They certainly don’t want you calling them during the season to give them advice about coaching your kid. But I don’t think any coach would think less of your child or your family for wanting to speak peer to peer at this point. In fact, the longer I’m involved in the recruiting process, the more I think they would be a little surprised if you didn’t check things out before finalizing a relationship and decision that is so important to your child and to you.</p>
<p>Fantastic advice riverrunner. We let our daughter do all of the talking until it came down to FA and the likelyhood of a likely letter. Coach was very reseptive to our questions and concerns.</p>
<p>I agree with riverrunner as well about the value of parents having a conversation with coaches at the end of the recruiting process. In our experience, most coaches initiated that conversation - asking to speak to us during a phone conversation with our athlete or calling specifically to speak with us during a time they knew our athlete would not be available. </p>
<p>I think coaches understand that this is a big decision and that parents will want to have enough information to assist with decision making. So if the coach doesn’t initiate a conversation with you, I think it’s appropriate to initiate one with him or her - with your athlete’s consent, of course. </p>
<p>Best of luck to everyone in this year’s recruiting class!</p>
<p>I think everyone agrees that the student/ athlete should take the lead in coach contact. When it comes down to crunch time, I don’t think it’s a problem if mom or dad want to get on the phone to confirm a few things. But every family dynamic is different. D did the whole thing by herself, to this day I still haven’t spoken with the coach.</p>
<p>I’ll agree with parental involvement in FA process. In our case, we spoke to FA office not the coach.</p>
<p>I’m not so sure I would suggest parental involvment in any other aspect of the recruiting process (or once you are on the team) unless there were long term implications or extreme risk. I want my son to handle everything, and then ask for my help as needed. I will coach him during the process, and only step in if there is a need to step in. It would have to be a significant reason for me to step in. This is his rodeo.</p>
<p>In our case, after the verbal commitment, there were occasional day-time communications with the coach, while kiddo was in high school. These were emails, followed by phone calls for clarification. Now, a year later, looking at the team, it’s at times obvious that families were recruited, not just the players. The families continue to be a big part of the support, involvement, and (yes) ongoing fundraising.</p>
<p>This is a D1 team with a regional draw (4 states represented on the team) and I’m sure the coaching staff had come to know these families over the years at local and national tournaments, as well as the college’s camps and clinics. </p>
<p>In this case, communications with parents probably wasn’t much of a surprise.</p>
<p>agree that some kids don’t have the experience and “ear” for what’s really going on. and parents should get involved. but the commitment part should really be handled by the athlete. and in-person or by phone if possible.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice on parental involvement. I am sure there will come a time where I may need to step in, but so far, my just turned 18 yr old has handled things well on her own. The biggest problem we have is the time constraints of my daughter’s schedule. She has not had time to make the phone calls she needs to make, so no news there. But she has decided to try to fit in an OV to school four. This makes mom and dad happy from a financial standpoint! The school’s honors college would be a great fit for her, with lots of great perks. And the team looks to be a good fit also, so could be a win-win. Now to figure out how to fit it into her jam-packed schedule!</p>
<p>Good luck with that fishy!! Hope it all turns out the way everyone wants it too …</p>
<p>The other night she had calls from four coaches - all checking in on the same day. I guess it’s crunch time! (well, one was calling with her info for her trip this weekend so maybe I can’t count that one - but still, what a night…and she had a big test to study for and had just gotten home from practice at 8pm …)</p>
But I don’t think any coach would think less of your child or your family for wanting to speak peer to peer at this point. In fact, the longer I’m involved in the recruiting process, the more I think they would be a little surprised if you didn’t check things out before finalizing a relationship and decision that is so important to your child and to you.</p>