Mini------ Just for you I requested to have the name of this thread changed.
Quote by Mini “While the sting of the rejections was fierce, the objective reality of the situation is that Andi was pretty certain to get into a good school the following year and had what I hope is a wonderful year learning outside of a school environment, precisely what the top schools encourage. The hardest part must (I assume) have been the waiting.”
You know, I think this kind of message misses the point: despite the “objective” reality that Mini points to, going through this college admissions process has great symbolic meaning for students and the parents that love and identify with them. Let’s face it…the major driving force of this entire site is that this process of today makes kids and parents alike feel extremely vulnerable. Don’t underestimate what an experience like Andison’s can do (temporarily, I hope) to a youngster’s self confidence and trust in the fairness of their world. And that’s what makes what happened to Andison so powerful, and what made Andi and her son so admired for their resiliency. (And it is what make’s Andi so admired for her willingness to share her experience for the benefit of others.) Your idea, Mini, that someone going through this would feel “pretty certain about getting into a good school the following year”, to me, shows a lack of imagination and empathy on your part. I know many a parent who hasn’t gone through anything like this who’s had moments of (irrational) fear that their kid–no matter what their stats- wouldn’t get in anywhere. What do you think an experience like Andison’s might do to perpetuate that nightmare fantasy?
So while there are many life experiences that are “objectively” worse, I imagine that what this family went through can likely–for a time-- hit right to the core.
Andi,
Thanks for sticking with us and updating the story. Having followed from the begining I feel somehow a part of it:
“We’ll raise a glass and sip a drop of schnapps
in honor of the great good luck that favors you,
We know that when good fortune favors two such men,
it stands to reason, we deserve it too!
To us and our good fortune!”
(from “Fiddler…” Stein, Harnick and Bock)
This should be reposted every year.
Andi, nothing about college is the same at it was when we were young.
I do have a question for you. In his second set of applications, how did he discuss his gap year? Did he mention anywhere why he was taking a gap year?
I am so glad that this turned out happily for you and your son. Enjoy him, I’m sure he will continue to me a source of pride and joy for you and your family.
If only more seniors would listen to the following advice:
"There were many lessons learned here, but the main one is to apply to a variety of schools in the first place and to realize that there are many schools out there that are very high quality. "
I’m not a parent, but I was browsing and I loved this story. I want to reinforce that good things can happen if you just keep plugging on and change your strategy a bit. I am transferring to my dream school after a year at my last choice school.
I was rejected by all four of my reach schools out of high school (Columbia-top choice, Yale, Harvard, Penn) despite a very high class rank and similarly high SAT scores, etc. My ECs were also good, good essays–though I see a flaw in some of them now–and great recs.
I was devastated when I was rejected by Columbia (the College, not SEAS). I loved Columbia so much and it was such a good fit. I settled on a full scholarship and a BS/MD program from my last-choice school near home for a year, with the intent to transfer.
Here’s what I had done wrong:
<ol>
<li> I wasn’t clear enough as to what I wanted to major in. I applied to different schools with different majors. For example, I applied to Columbia as a Neuroscience major, to Yale as a Biomedical Engineering Major, and to my current school as a Biomedical Engineering Major.
</li>
</ol>
I was so uninformed about the admissions process that I didn’t even realize that applying as a woman to an engineering major gives a big leg up, but I was intimidated by engineering. This is something that my GC should have talked to me about. [I should note that I wasn’t passionate at all in my Yale application. After I fell in love with Columbia, I just didn’t care about the Harvard/Yale/Penn apps.] That said, applying to Columbia College was a mistake. I should have applied to SEAS.
<ol>
<li>
My personal statement, though cute, clever and well-written, ultimately revealed no specific characterstic of mine.
</li>
<li>
Though I knew Columbia was the right school for me, I “felt it in my bones” as some might say, I couldn’t back it up with anything substantial. Talking about New York and the Core just isn’t enough. It’s just not original.
</li>
<li>
I did not capitalize on my talents. I should have sent supplementary essays, a recording of my violin playing, etc. All of that could have helped.
</li>
</ol>
So here’s what I did.
<ol>
<li> I got myself very interested in Biomedical Engineering, and spoke to the Director of Biomedical Engineering at my current U. She suggested that I do labwork over the summer to immerse myself in BME and have it on my resume. Luckily, she had several friends in the Columbia BME department. She got me in contact with one of them, and I ended up getting a lab job at Columbia for the summer. I exceeded my own expectations there–I helped a grad student with his Matlab algorithm for Cardiac MRI despite no prior experience with Matlab, translated a Medical Consent form into Spanish, and a few other things. I learned a lot last summer, but most importantly, I realized that Biomedical Engineering IS for me. At the end of the experience, I mentioned to the professor that I may need a recommendation letter from her if I choose to apply for transfer. She said she’d gladly do it.</li>
</ol>
While on campus last summer, I talked to a Columbia admissions officer about transferring. He mentioned that “We only admit happy students. We like to admit students who would be happy wherever they go. If by January 1, you’re still thinking about Columbia, e-mail me and start the application.”
I took his advice to heart.
<ol>
<li> Initially, I enjoyed some aspects of current U, and my grades were great. I made friends, did some extracurriculars (like Orchestra, Track Club, and I recently won the Freshman Writing Contest). But I still thought about Columbia, and I still wanted to go there.
</li>
</ol>
There was talk about completely changing the engineering curriculum at current U, and that’s when I really decided that I needed to get out of there (I don’t want to be a guinea pig!) The school doesn’t allow much room for growth. Most everyone there is from a 30 min radius, so it feels like a commuter school. Also, so many students are unhappy, it is just a depressing place. In spite of that, I was still doing well, and on a day-to-day basis, pretty happy. I just didn’t want to stay there.
So I decided I would definitely apply to CU for transfer. This time I’d be applying as an Engineering major to SEAS. I e-mailed the Admissions Officer on January 1st. Here’s what he told me:
“Since your original application was to the College, you should now understand why you have chosen Biomedical Engineering.”
I gave that some thought, and wrote a strong essay about how engineering is right for me because of the strong math background, without which I understand nothing fully. I edited my original personal statement and sent that in again. My essay about why I wanted to leave Current U was extremely convincing without being depressive. My essay about Why Columbia now had some substance, because I had actually lived at Columbia and worked at Columbia. I was able to make the essay very specific due to my experience in the lab.
<ol>
<li>
I had three recommendations submitted: the CU Professor, the the BME Dept Head at Current U, and my Physics professor. (Columbia only asks for one rec from either a Chem/Physics/Math professor, but the Admissions Officer said it was okay to submit more).
</li>
<li>
I also submitted updates as they came. I won the Freshman Writing contest at the end of April and promptly submitted a letter explaining it as soon as I found out. I also wrote a new essay (I guess you could call it another Personal Statement) and submitted that shortly after.
</li>
</ol>
On May 10, I received my acceptance to Columbia. I am absolutely thrilled and very pleased with this past year as a result. I should also note that I had applied to Michigan and Penn and was accepted to Michigan, and I’m still waiting on Penn.
If your kid doesn’t get in to their top choice school, transfer is an option, and so is a gap year as this thread pointed out. Good luck to everyone!
dear andi,
i’m a high school senior and i really wanted to thank you for your post, it’s one of the first that i read on cc, and i tweaked my list accordingly. After my first deferral, i applied to Tulane with a rolling admissions, and was accepted early and even received a full tuition scholarship-- which kept me really comfortable during this entire application process after a nervewracking month after the deferral. thanks andi, your posts have already had an impact
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calmom,
Here is a sensible system. Every school keeps 5% of their acceptances in reserve. Kids with no acceptances get put into a pool. The colleges draft from thiis pool. Harvard takes everybody they want, then Yale, then Princeton, then University of Wisconsin, and so on until everybody in the pool has a place to go.
beprepn
Layla:
Congrats on getting into Columbia! Your post is as full of great tips as Andi’s is. Thanks for posting it.
beprepn, I don’t think Harvard or Yale or Princeton wants a kid whose been rejected by every other college, so you are not going to sell them on a plan premised on the idea of being charitable to kids with a slew of rejections. By definition, these kids are going to seem undesireable simply due to the fact of multiple rejections. And given the fact that elites are already turning away a half dozen or more qualified applicants for each one they select, and also have long waiting lists of anxious students… I don’t think a system of keeping reserve space open for unlucky students would be all that popular.
In any case, we already have a system in place via NACAC where the COLLEGES provide information when they have space available. Admittedly the colleges listed there tend not to be the prestigious, in-demand schools – but there really is a place for everyone. Of course, if you plan right the first time around, you don’t need to go to the NACAC list.
This was the first time I’d read about your experiences, Andi, and I thank you so much for putting in all the time and effort of reposting everything in this way! Very eye opening for me, and I’m sure many other parents.
Thank you for posting a summary so others can learn from your experience - that’s really, I think, the very best thing a forum like this can provide.
Thanks for such a great and moving thread.
Nice to see many of my favorite cc’ers all in one place!
Both Andi’s and Layla’s strategies to pick themselves up from the initial disappointments and to get into their respective dream schools subsequently are inspiring. But I surmise there are a lot more kids who suffered the same initial fate but persevered and excelled in their safety schools or “second-tiered” choices and move on to become responsible members of the society in their own right.
The key element here is resiliency, the capacity to adapt to what life throws at you. And for those who come behind, learn from the experiences of those who have gone before us.
As Will Rogers put it, good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. Let’s exercise good judgment, thanks to the many unselfish posters at CC.
Beprepn, I don’t agree with the idea of each school keeping slots open for kids who have no acceptances. The way to not get shut out of being accepted to college is by having a well balanced list with safeties on the list. In fact, that is the lesson in Andison’s story. Colleges don’t need to be charitable to let in someone who doesn’t have a school to go to. The students must apply to an appropriate list that includes schools that are sure bets. Even the best students in the land are not guaranteed admissions to highly selective schools. Those are reaches for anyone and cannot be counted on. The students are very much qualified but the low admit rates mean qualified students are turned away in droves. Even match schools are not a guarantee. Safeties are essential.
Thanks Andi for sharing the entire story and follow up. Others starting this process can learn from both the mistakes that were made but also from how a disappointing situation and setback can be overcome and in fact, many postiive things happened as a result.
Mardad- love the jingle- I send you a cyber toast!!
Molliebatmit- will you still be there at orientation, or will you be down the river apiece? If youre there Ill take you up on your offer!!
Quiltguru- thanks! I hope the newbies to the process will not be as blockheaded as we were. Unfortunately many think itll never happen to them.
MrsP
so true, for better and for worse
Loosecannon
Good question and one he put a lot of thought into. He treated it differently according to the specific application. One application was not the common app and had a choice of two essays. One of the essays was specifically about overcoming a difficult time or setback in life. He chose that and wrote about his admissions results and how he had used the outcome to have a great year. He addressed the initial shock and pain but then went on to how excited he was to have this year to do a lot of wonderful things. On the other applications he did not mention his original reason for the gap year. He felt that writing about getting rejected everywhere was not an accurate representation of who he was as a person. It would have been dwelling on something negative and hes not a negative person. Hes a positive person with a zest for life and although this was a significant event in his life he had a lot more exciting things to write about.
This brings up a question that a pmer just wrote me- which is how do you write about a gap year when the applications are due early and you havent actually experienced much of it. He wrote about what his plans were and <em>why</em> he chose them and what <em>meaning</em> the had for him. I think that <em>what</em> you actually do is not especially more important than why you desire to do them. What do the plans mean to you? What are your goals? Are you delving deeper into an existing passion that you havent had time to do in this way before or are you getting completely out of your box and exploring a completely new field? Dont just write about the <em>plans</em> write about what they mean to you.
Ellemenope
in a nutshell.
Layla THANK YOU so much for posting your story!!! I was hoping that someone else would come forth and add a similar story. Your original college application process reminded me a lot of andisons. I think the details you have posted will be very helpful to people, as I recognize the various issues and situations that come up during the re-application process. I wish you all the best at Columbia!
“You know, I think this kind of message misses the point: despite the “objective” reality that Mini points to, going through this college admissions process has great symbolic meaning for students and the parents that love and identify with them.”
Actually, I think YOU missed the point. The worst thing that happened here was NOT the rejections. The vast, overwhelming majority of kids, and later, adults, will face rejections, learn from them, and move on. The worst thing was a lack of an ACCEPTANCE. This occurred, as Andi is quick to admit, not because of anything Andison had done either in his academic career or in his applications, but because of poor planning and improper thinking on the part of Andison, his GC, and, sadly, the parents as well. This is where I have the greatest of sympathies (and, if I were the parent, I would carry around my requisite share of guilt, which Andi has borne very graciously indeed.)
But this too shall pass. Andi is going to go on and do great things!
Quote: “Actually, I think YOU missed the point. The worst thing that happened here was NOT the rejections. The vast, overwhelming majority of kids, and later, adults, will face rejections, learn from them, and move on. The worst thing was a lack of an ACCEPTANCE.”
As another poster also indicated, you really like to parse words, Mini. And while your analysis of what happened may be very correct, you miss much of the feeling element entirely. Maybe in your world, inner reaction always dovetails perfectly with “objective reality”, but most people I know personally and professionally don’t operate this way.
But anyway, this is all speculative on our parts. Only Andison and his family, and others who may have had similar experiences, can know how difficult something like this is to get through. And thankfully, the outcome for Andison has been nothing short of spectacular!
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It WAS very difficult to get through - hey, I’m on this list too, and have felt it every step of the way. The “feeling” is not only bad because of the rejections (which could fade away quickly) but the lack of acceptances, knowing full well that something could have been done about that.
I think you are the one missing the feeling element - by focusing on the rejections, you are missing the sinking feeling that can come with thinking that you may have steered your kid wrongly - which didn’t come from the rejections, but from not being accepted anywhere. I’ve been there - not pretty. And I don’t think you’ve come anywhere close to understanding that.