Or you may need to take a gap year…and retool your list of colleges…not applying ED anywhere…and looking for schools with guaranteed merit aid.
HC isn’t going to be affordable on a $30,000 income with NO need based aid.
@mom2collegekids @thumper1 @austinmshauri @twoinanddone @sybbie719 thanks guys for your help. My dad is actually paying for my brothers college. It was decided that my dad would pay for my brothers college and my mom for mine ( which I guess was considered fair b/c it’s “half” ). This is a bummer as my brother will walk away with 100% of it paid for by my dad. I am going to talk to him and see if it is possible for my mom to contribute what she can right now then maybe pay him back over a greater period of time, or I can work to pay off the loan from him. It’s hard because it puts me in a bad place. If not, I know that he will be able to consign on a loan. - I’m just saying this to help establish my point, but last year he made just under a million dollars and he has very minimal expenses. So I know he has the money, and in no way do I feel entitled to it whatsoever as obviously he owes me NONE of it, but I hope he can put the differences with my mother aside and we can work something out!
Did you have a question?
Omg…someone who earns just under a million thinks it’s ok to pay for one child because the low income ex-spouse is supposed to pay for the other child. Insane.
Maybe with some of that money, dad can buy himself a heart.
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I am going to talk to him and see if it is possible for my mom to contribute what she can right now then maybe pay him back over a greater period of time, or I can work to pay off the loan from him. It’s hard because it puts me in a bad place. If not, I know that he will be able to consign on a loan. - I’m just saying this to help establish my point, but last year he made just under a million dollars and he has very minimal expenses.
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This is getting ridiculous. Your mom, with earnings as low as $20k, can’t afford to contribute much, if anything. Unless she’s sure to be making big bucks soon, the idea of her paying back your dad later is just nuts…not to mention that your dad probably suspects that she’d never pay him back.
Even if your dad agrees to cosign a loan, it’s a horrible idea.
If you can’t get him to realize that the divorce agreement is unreasonable in light of the mega-differences in your parents’ incomes, then you really need to find an affordable school.
Are you premed???
Note to others…never agree to anything like that! AT least if the agreement was that each parent has to pay for half of each child’s college, then one child would not end up totally screwed like this.
Maybe the mom gets $100k+ alimony…
What is the FAFSA EFC?
Maybe the mom already GOT her money from the dad…and this is one reason why the mom has responsibility to pay for one kid’s college costs.
We don’t know!
To the OP…does your mom have a HUGE savings account someplace? If not…how can she pay anything towards college costs…for anyone…on $20,000 salary?
@medrunner1998 what is the FAFSA EFC amount listed?
(We are only hearing the student’s side of the story so I think it is a bit unfair to bash the dad. Anyway…)
If you are not getting any aid you can’t afford the school you want to attend. Regroup. Is there a state school in town you could commute to and live at home with your mom? I would add this to the list of other options people here have given.
We also don’t know things like a pints of child and spousal support the OP mom has received…or continues to receive. Or other terms of the divorce settlement. And it’s none of our business…but does contribute to the story.
But for @medrunner1998 the take away for YOU is that you cannot likelynreceive need based aid at colleges that require the non-custodial parent information. Hopefully, younapplied to some schools that do NOT require this information.
Oh…and any spousal support or child,support your dad paid in 2015 to your mom needs to be in lauded on her fafsa…and her Profile. Hope it was.
You say your mom earned $20,000 “last year”? Which last year is this? The 2017-2018 forms use the 2015 tax return information,
Thanks again for the help. I know that my mom has savings and gets money from my dad, but I don’t really know much else about her financial situation. My parents don’t like to share that sruff with me. I am going to look for an affordable school, but wait until mid Jan when the HC deposit is due as I still have a feeling my dad may put the differences aside.
@medrunner1998 check your deadlines. You don’t want to miss them.
And remember…you will be doing this same song and dance for FOUR years. Will your dad pay for all four years? I would want that money in a 529 in my name!
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wait until mid Jan when the HC de
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NO!!! That could be too late for big merit! Apply NOW…you don’t have to tell your dad about the other merit options you’ve applied to.
If dad doesn’t sympathize with a situation where one child gets a free education and one child will have huge debt, then at least you’ll have something in your back pocket.
Even if the student doesn’t know the particulars, when parents divorce, they’re divorcing each other…not their kids. In good conscience, how can a very affluent parent sit back and let his younger child take on huge debt? At a minimium, as the adult, he should have given his child a heads up many months ago to talk to his mom to find out how much she’ll pay…and/or to do the NPCs.
The mom is obviously not living on $20k.
WHAT was your FAFSA EFC???
Are you premed???
This student received an early DECISION acceptance to HC. Until he withdraws that acceptance, he isn’t supposed to apply to MORE schools…,he is actually supposed to withdraw any pending applications or acceptances.
By applying to more schools…he actually risks losing that ED acceptance should HC find out…and they might.
Reading these posts and other posts of this OP, I suspect this kid just needs to sit down and have a conversation with her father. OP has a sibling in college (who also went to a private prep school for HS) so dad is fully aware of the costs of tuition. OP has also mentioned on a previous post that her dad was not happy with her applying to Fordham because of the location. Clearly, there are conversations about college taking place and dad knows where this child is applying to. Undoubtedly, he knows mom’s income or at least the income range.
@medrunner1998 give dad a call and go have a discussion with him as to what the real arrangement for college will be. You said he is currently paying all of your expenses so find out what the budget for school/ living expenses will be. Do not take out loans and do not ask him to “loan” you the money. Do your current expenses include private school tuition?
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This student received an early DECISION acceptance to HC. Until he withdraws that acceptance, he isn’t supposed to apply to MORE schools…,he is actually supposed to withdraw any pending applications or acceptances.
By applying to more schools…he actually risks losing that ED acceptance should HC find out…and they might.
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Crap, I forgot about ED issue. I think she/he’s allowed to still apply to his public univ…is that right?
This student needs to have a convo ASAP with dad.
I wish the OP would answer regarding the Q about being premed. If this student thinks it’s ok to borrow a lot because a doctor can afford to pay the debt back, that is wrong thinking for two reasons…
- many premeds end up being weeded out.
2). This student will have huge debt from med school.
I second sitting down with your Dad and getting the 411. I suspect there were certain money issues in the marriage and he felt it was necessary to draw the line and split the kids education costs or it could be that your brother was older and needed the money sooner. The thought being your mom would save up and prepare for your costs.
Divorces are messy transactions that involve a lot of back and forth. This is the agreement they both felt was acceptable and best for all. I am sure you can talk to your mom and dad and work something out.
Please remember that private school costs are off the charts for 90% of the population. It is a far away dream for many. It might be that state school is best for you because of the crazy cost of private school. And that is ok. You will do fine.
Good luck.
The mom’s decision to take a low paying job at a nonprofit just as the eldest child was applying to college may have something to do with the dad’s unwillingness to cover more of the costs. If the career change was a choice and not due to a layoff, that could affect how the dad feels.
If the mom was making a lot of money up until 2 years ago, it seems like she should have been putting some aside for OP’s college like the dad was apparently doing for her brother. Since the OP said she “forgot” she was responsible for paying I gather she didn’t. Dad might be the solution here, but I don’t think he was the problem. I hope it works out.
The OP does not have to withdraw other apps until they have a FA package that works for them. Clearly the package they have now does not work, and only dad stepping up will take care of that; the school isn’t going to increase aid based on the story you are telling. OP, get with your dad ASAP (this weekend if you can) to discuss this. Let them know that you will have to decline the offer, because schools take his income into account and your mom can’t pay for the school. Let him know that you are going to have to switch to a plan that may include two years at community college and then an in-state public as the only affordable choice. Ask if he can please reconsider helping you out. Tell him the date you need to accept or turn down the ED offer.
Then I WOULD go ahead and put in applications in right now at a few places that might give you merit or has a pricetag that could work for you. If your dad says he’ll pay for the ED school by the ED deadline, then you just cancel/withdraw those and any other applications you have outstanding. If he doesn’t, then you turn down the ED school and stay focused on cheaper options.
But to the OP…remember…you will,have to do,this again for the subsequent three years of college. Not just this weekend…but every year!
Every year HC is going to consider your dad’s income. And every year you will need to get a commitment for him to pay the costs.