<p>Hi, everyone!</p>
<p>First off, this is going to be a long post, and I apologize for that in advance. There's just a lot going on, so some background story is probably relevant.</p>
<p>I'm a freshman here at my school, and so far, I hate it here. This was the only in state school I applied to, and so far, all of my fears about this place have been affirmed.</p>
<p>Honestly, for me, it's been really hard to meet people for several reasons. First and foremost, I have almost nothing in common with most people I've come into contact with except for the TA's within my major depts., which is pretty sad. I go to a big football school in SC, but I HATE football. To me, there is nothing more boring... well, except for maybe deer hunting. I only went here because my dad wanted me to stay close to home, but my therapist said that was probably the biggest mistake I could have made. Also, it seems that everybody here likes to go out on weekends to get trashed and have a good time, which would be fun on occasion. However, everybody goes down to a specific area of town to drink, and there is no way in HELL I'm going back to that area of town after multiple people tried to sell me crack, meth and hookers, and then another guy tried to mug my roommate.</p>
<p>Also, personally, I'm an introvert; unless you know me and I open up to you, I keep everything in (which ends up leading to my own demise... I just got diagnosed with Bipolar type II last week because I let so much stuff build up without talking to anyone, therefore causing me to end up in the psych unit at the local ER for a manic episode... first in my life). And my living situation doesn't really help anything. Because they ran out of space in the freshman residence halls, they put me and my also freshman roommate in an upperclassmen apartment. Don't get me wrong... I mean, these apartments are AMAZING; newly remodeled with brand new wood flooring, appliances, and an in-apartment washer and dryer. But because it is a small, somewhat isolated dorm, the only contact I have with others in the dorm is with my neighbors, one of whom, the one I actually get along with, is never there because she's always at her boyfriend's place and the other is, pardon the language, quite frankly a total *****. So I try to keep away from her. And there's no lounge/common area I can go hang out in to socialize with people.</p>
<p>I've tried to get involved on campus, but so far my attempts have been in vain. I'm a Russian and German double major because I LOVE Russia and German speaking countries (seeing as my mom is Swiss, especially), so the first clubs I checked out were the German club's "stammtisch" (just a casual hangout at a coffee house; no beer, unfortunately, as would be at a true stammtisch), the German film evening, and the "русский стол" (the same thing as the kaffeeklatch, but hosted by the Russian club, instead). At all of the coffee house meetings so far, I was the only undergrad student there. Languages are really my only true talent, so I can speak both pretty well; idk... maybe other undergrads are just intimidated? I wish those events were more active. The rest there at the events were grad students and professors. Then at the film nights, for the past 7 in a row, I've been the only one there. They show really good German movies, but it would be kind of nice if there was someone, even just one person, there to watch it with. I've looked into various other organizations, but the really active ones I really don't want to join (like the tailgating association and the pro-life organization - perhaps the biggest org. on campus... but I'm pro-choice). All the ones I do want to join are completely inactive, like the mountain biking club or the foreign film society, so I kind of feel stuck.</p>
<p>Anyway, all in all, it's not that I haven't made acquaintances. I have people in classes that I'm friendly with and all, but have nothing in common with whatsoever. The closest I've ever gotten to actually socializing outside of class is when one kid in my German class asked if I wanted to go smoke week with him later. Normally, I would (I smoke pot on very rare occasion, usually 0-2 times a year; really helps to relax if I'm so stressed I can't handle it... like the benzos I take, but better), but now that I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II because of severe depression and my recent manic episode, I have to get mental health evaluations once a month by the state department (since my school's a state school), and every time I go there, they have to do a drug test so they can make sure I'm taking my meds and not doing illegal street drugs.</p>
<p>But other than that, I have no true friends. What do you think I should do? Take a semester off? Transfer schools? Wait it out? I met with my therapist last week for the first time, and he told me about his initial impression of me. He said while I appeared content on the outside, he knew inside I was extremely unhappy, which I am. Extremely unhappy and completely depressed. He said I need to do whatever I need to do to change that, even if it means changing schools or taking a semester or a year off, because that will just exacerbate my Generalized anxiety and Bipolar depression, and my mom agreed. So suggestions would be welcome :)</p>
<p>Thanks for listening, guys, and again, sorry for such a long post!! :)</p>