I’ll be going into my second semester of college in two week and I still haven’t made friends. I’m a very shy person and it’s hard for me to be outgoing. I do have people that I talk to in my clubs and in class but outside of those I don’t have many friends. The only reason I’m not terribly lonely is because I have my boyfriend to talk to and hang out with when I get lonely but the truth is I get tired of his friends and I want some good friends that are girls that I can talk to or be able to call up to go eat with. My roommate was a good friend of mine but she has now transferred colleges. I have tried all the basic stuff (clubs,events,social parties, leaving my door open) but I can’t seem to find someone I click with. Last semester I even tried texting the floor group chat to see if anyone wanted to go to dinner but it seemed that people were always doing their on thing or were busy with something else. I feel kinda lonely now because everyone on campus already have there group of friends and all my friends from back home are always posting about there new friends that they made.
I’m on and around campus most days (in the library, class, club meeting, study sessions) and I’m in my dorm at last 6/7 nights a week. I though about texting my floors group chat and asking if they want to come hang with me in my room and play video games (I have the cheesey games like Mario cart and the other Nintendo games) but so feel like it would seem desperate if I ask people to hang out.
How often are you available without your boyfriend? I think my daughter really limited her number and quality of friendships because she had a boyfriend and spent her time with him.
I try to hang around campus more (he live in an apartment) I go over there on weekends because we go to the club together but Me and my parents are paying for the dorm so I try to spend as much time as possible there to get my money’s worth. Plus his friends get on my nerves sometimes just because it’s all guys and they get irritating from time to time.
Try to stay around the dorm more on weekends. That’s when people have down time and you may be able to find girls who are hanging out in the lounge area, etc. Maybe text your floor’s groupchat around dinner and just say something like, Is anyone going to dinner soon? I’m ready whenever, just don’t feel like going by myself.
There’s no other way but to keep doing what you are doing, keep on trying, keep on with your floor’s group chat. It puts you outside your comfort zone maybe, but the only way that you are ever going to click with anyone is to do the things that give you a chance of meeting that person.
It sounds like you have a good handle on social skills and are doing a very good job at adjusting and meeting new people. I bet you have more friends than you realize and I bet a lot of the girls you know feel exactly as you do. I always say this to students but I’ll say it again - I feel bad for your generation because I think technology has made it harder for students to connect in person. It keeps people isolated. (but that’s another discussion for another day)
The only other thing I can think of is to consider rushing this semester. Greek seems to have changed a lot over the years (not just about parties and being exclusive) and it seems at most schools there are all different types of houses with a sorority that could be just your fit.
I don’t know if you attend church but sometimes going to a local church on Sundays and getting to know some people there can give you a feeling of home and connections that bridges some gaps although it may not be the peer gal pals your are seeking (just an addition to your week).
In the meantime just keep smiling when you see people, keep being friendly, stay positive when you converse with others and I always tell my own children to be a good friend to others. Offer to help when needed, lend a listening ear and in general extend yourself to others.
College is an adjustment which leads into the second semester too. It sounds like you have done a very good job with getting started and I’m sure your second semester will be even better. One last thought - keep your eyes alert for transfer students this semester. There are sure to be some who will also be looking to make friends and connections. Imagine being new starting in January? I think that would be rough.
I’ll be going into my second semester of college in two week and I still haven’t made friends. I’m a very shy person and it’s hard for me to be outgoing. I do have people that I talk to in my clubs and in class but outside of those I don’t have many friends. The only reason I’m not terribly lonely is because I have my boyfriend to talk to and hang out with when I get lonely but the truth is I get tired of his friends and I want some good friends that are girls that I can talk to or be able to call up to go eat with. My roommate was a good friend of mine but she has now transferred colleges. I have tried all the basic stuff (clubs,events,social parties, leaving my door open) but I can’t seem to find someone I click with. Does anyone have any good ideas that I can try? I though about texting my floors group chat and asking if they want to play Mario kart or other games on my new switch when I get back but I feel like that’s lame to do or it will look like I’m trying to hard.
Many, many freshman don’t have their tribe established before the holiday break but what I have learned here on CC is that is the turning point for many…once you get back to school, keep up all the things you are doing and I think you’ll find yourself with a nice group of friends before spring break! That’s what happened with my D and many others who have posted here. Keep your chin up!