<p>I'm a second semester freshman at a very large state university. I haven't made any friends at all, not even acquaintances that I see during class or anything like that. I usually go around 6 days a week without opening my mouth to talk to anyone. The only time I do talk to people is during my lab or when my mom calls to check that I'm still alive. I used to be really depressed (and I almost killed myself when I was younger), but with antidepressants and therapy I feel pretty good about it. But because of it, I feel that I really didn't have a chance to develop socially, and now that I'm in college I'm starting to feel the ramifications. I'm gay, and I had to move out of my first dorm because my roommate wasn't okay with it, so that REALLY discouraged me when it came to making friends. The roommate I have now isn't okay with it either, but he said I can stay in the room as long as I'm not there most of the time, which I'm not. One time, someone in my hall left a couple sticky notes on my door that had the f word written on them. That was pretty cool.<br>
Anyways, I tried joining clubs, but they were all national clubs that required fees to join so I ended up not joining any.
So my day pretty much consists of me getting up and going to class and then spending the entire day studying in the library. On weekends, again, I spend my entire time in the library studying. I eat at the dining hall by myself in-between, of course.
I'm doing really well in school (4.0 last semester) and I love my major and my classes, but I haven't really found my place at this school. Once again, the school is pretty big so it's easy for the loners like myself to fall through the cracks and not get noticed.
I feel that my college career, so far, has been negative event after negative event and I feel that making friends could change that. I'm pretty optimistic, but I'm SUPER discouraged. Like, I don't fit in at all.
Does anyone have any tips for my Sophomore year??</p>
<p>I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Sometimes it takes a long time to find your place, and it sounds like you have some special challenges that are making it especially hard. Good for you for trying to remain positive and optimistic.</p>
<p>Have you looked into a Gay/Lesbian organization? Almost all campuses have something like this and maybe they could give you some support or advice?</p>
<p>Hey, yeah you’ve got it rough (except for the grades), but the good news is there’s still time left. You’re right about the effects of isolation, but not everyone will care if you’re a bit “off” at times. Don’t assume they’re thinking the worst. I mean, large schools are perfect for taking some risks socially. Why wait till sophomore year? Go to someone’s table and ask to sit there, and who knows. Talk to people in your dorm or class or even the library. </p>
<p>There has got to be others on campus you ‘fit in’ with. There has to be other gay kids or others who accept you, but you gotta give them a chance. No more not talking 6 days a week, cause that surely won’t help with depression. In the future, though, I think you should not let anyone push you around and force a room change or order you to leave. It’s not high school anymore and they have no right to do that.</p>
<p>Find a lonely girl, girls always need a gay friend</p>
<p>azperson- I feel heartbroken for you. As a mom with a son at a large university far away, I worry about my son and his lack of friends to. I encourage him to seek out friends and groups to join. Especially in a large university, chances are there is another student just like you! You are not alone. Look at every club on campus, maybe intramural sports, religious groups, LGBT club. If you really can’t find people after all that, go see the dean of student life. There are people on campus whose job it is to look out for the welfare of the students. Please utilize these these resources, you are paying for them. You want these 4 years of college to be memorable for all the right reasons.good luck to you.</p>
<p>Frienship 101
- Smile and say hello to people. (BTW I know this will be hard-But start with one or two people and then build up).
- Learn names and then learn to greet people by name.
- When on campus or the classroom give off the friendly vibe. You know by now that the grumpy disassociated student thing doesn’t work.
4)learn to expand the smile and hello into a conversation. You do this by asking open ended questions like: how do you like the teacher, the food, the weather, etc. You don’t have to agree with the answer but be friendly and understanding.</p>
<p>Please understand that making friends is a give and take dynamic. You have given nothing so you’ve received nothing. The good news is that once you start giving then you will start receiving, and it all starts with a smile and a hello. GL</p>
<p>You’re roomate is an a-hole. You’re paying the same amount of money for the room too, so who the hell does he think he is? No one should have to put up with that! Why don’t you ask to transfer to a new dorm room (could ask them to pair you with a gayfriendly or an actual nice person)?</p>