<p>im a new fresman transfer, not that new 2 months passed since i started to dorm at this college...i live in a quad (3 more roommates)
the things is i cant seem to find any good friends, i was joining my roommates when we were going out in the begging of the year..but now i feel needy and tend not to go with them..so i go alone (or not at all)...i try to find friends but it seem hopeless..the thing i transferred in the middle of freshman year and everybody already knew each other, i was an outlier from the beginning, i just dont know what to do and what is wrong with me..i went from having an israelu group of friends to a loser, who has no one to hang out with on weekends...what to do?????:( please help me
how to really meet good friend when everybpdy are in groups already??? like i hae few friends but they all have groups, and they go out with them....</p>
<p>It is likely to get better. It’s just a bit harder starting mid year. Maybe you will get a chance to meet friends at clubs, the gym, or class group projects.</p>
<p>You’re not a loser, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re in a new place where you don’t know anyone well, and that can be tough to deal with at first. I know it feels like forever, but two months really isn’t that long. It’s temporary. Don’t beat yourself up. :)</p>
<p>Colorado_mom is right; the thing is not to focus quite so hard on finding friends. It’s far better to find things you like to do, and go do them. That’ll put you in contact with people who have similar interests and it will be much more natural for acquaintance and then friendship to grow. Note I said “grow.” Don’t push it; these things take time. </p>
<p>My daughter was very lonely at one point, and she tried another tactic (in addition to joining a couple of groups), and I’ll pass it on to you because it really worked for her. She’d take a book out into a public area and just sit down and read. The thing that was great about this was that it didn’t LOOK like she was fishing for friends. She was just reading, no pressure on her to find a friend, and other people didn’t think it was odd that she was alone – she was reading. She took her book to many different places, just anywhere that a lot of people would be passing by – the dorm lounge, the campus coffee shop, a bench outside on a nice day, the student activities building. </p>
<p>It took time, but she was patient. Sometimes no one said anything to her. Sometimes someone would say “Hi” as they were passing. Sometimes someone would stop and chat for a minute. Then one day in the coffee shop, someone she vaguely knew came in and got coffee and asked my daughter if she could join her. As they sat drinking their coffee, they talked about an event that was happening that night on campus, and they decided to go together. From that, my D met another friend of this girl. A few days later, that friend invited D to come to her room for a movie party she was having. From that, D met another girl who ending up introducing her to her own friend group. That friend group is now D’s friend group. </p>
<p>See how it wasn’t a straight line? She didn’t immediately meet her best friends. But she was open to talking to just about anyone, and she was open to accepting invitations. And that eventually led to meeting the people who are now her best friends.</p>
<p>The moral of the story is – Put yourself out there, physically out there. And the other moral is – Don’t force things. Your goal right now isn’t to find forever-friends. Your goal is just meet people, as many as possible. Take people up on invitations, and issue a few yourself. Be relaxed about it, and let things happen.</p>
<p>Join a few clubs or activities that you enjoy. Take the time to talk to people, laugh, have fun, and things will fall into place. It might not happen over night. Maybe you will spend some time talking to a few kids at an activity, and then the next day you may see them eating and ask to join them…</p>
<p>If I recall correctly, you are either international or a recent immigrant. In either case, you should take advantage of all of the events organized by the international student office. If you volunteer to help out with those things, you will have a reason to get out of your dorm room, and you will meet people.</p>
<p>Agree with all the above. It is impossible to meet people sitting in your room. It is quite possible you will meet people not sitting in your room. It will get better. There are others just like you that are new.</p>
<p>what you mean??? where to i fins those others???</p>
<p>Re-read replies #2, 3, 4, and 5.</p>