No Help?!

<p>I originally posted this is the LD sub forum, and was given the idea to post it here:</p>

<p>My family can't afford testing. My last chance of getting any help was through the school. I've been getting more anxiety attacks within the last few monthes than I ever have before and I'm near a mental breakdown (thank goodness the school year is near over). I want to know what's going on, and no matter what I try I can't stop it. I went to talk to the school psychologist on Friday. She seemed interested and said that she thought there was more there that should be looked into and the school would help. Well...that was until what I found out today.</p>

<p>I already knew she was going to call my mom and I was fine with that. Until I heard what my mom said. She asked mom if I had been to the doctor for it. Last time I had was in October, and was just to check up on some acute cheast pain. I'm a sophomore. This is the first time I'd been to the doctor since seventh grade. The doctor said I checked out fine physically, but I exhibitted the signs of anxiety. The school psychologist asked my mom about the appointment, and my mom claimed I was totally fine--which isn't the truth.</p>

<p>Because of this I can't get testing. The school is supposedly not allowed to proceed. I can't figure out what's going on. My mom won't pay for counseling, and I can't manage a job right now. We can't pay testing either. I need to find out what's wrong. I can't take this much longer without losing it. </p>

<p>On top of this my mom has the "If you want it, you're going to have to do all the work" ideal, so she won't do anything to help. I can't make her understand. </p>

<p>Are there any other options?</p>

<p>This is a tough situation, but it sounds like you’re handling it really well. Could you explain to the school psychologist that your mother didn’t tell everything about what happened at the doctor’s visit? If your doctor recognized your anxiety during that visit, it may well be documented in your medical records/files, and you could ask the doctor to send them to the school. </p>

<p>My heart goes out to you–best of luck and I’m sure other posters will have more suggestions as well.</p>

<p>I was going to go in and check once more sometime this week–when my anger and frustration has died down a slight bit. </p>

<p>I’m not honestly sure what the doctor would have put down. She gave me the names of three anxiety counselors, but other than that, I have no idea what she thought, although she conceeded to the anxiety. </p>

<p>I just feel kind of bad about “going behind” my mom’s back in a way. You know the whole, “my mom isn’t right and I’m going to tell you why she’s wrong” thing. </p>

<p>What makes me the most mad is I openned up to some one I had never met. I told her pretty personal things that I’ve only told, in depth, one other person who is like a father to me. I was doing this with the idea I’d be helped–that it would be worth sharing that. She told her collegues to get a better idea, so now people I’ve never met know about my freakish things, and I still don’t get help. It’s not right.</p>

<p>The people you confided in are professionals who are bound by laws and ethics rules. Please don’t worry that they’ll spread your stuff around; they won’t except if they need to consult with other professionals in order to help you.</p>

<p>You might need to be your own advocate in this, in other words, yes, you may need to do some follow-up yourself. I’d also recommend calling your doctor; explain what’s going on since your last visit, and ask for help. Let her know about the financial constraints too; doctors usually know where to find low-cost or no-cost treatment. She could also tell you if treatment might be covered under your mom’s medical insurance.</p>

<p>don’t give up! Lasma’s suggestions are excellent ones. Don’t worry about the people this counselor consulted with. I know at your age there is all sorts of gossip and whatnot, but the important thing to remember is that most adults in these professions are there because they want to “assist” you and help you to get what you need. Please do call your doctor. He/she is probably your best resource at this point.</p>

<p>It sounds like you haven’t yet shared with your mom the concerns that you talked to the counselor and another adult friend about. I wonder if your mom believes that everything is fine because she doesn’t yet understand the whole situation…and her belief is limiting your ability to get support.</p>

<p>I would also suggest that you try and talk to your mom and explain to her about the anxiety and how difficult it is making your life. Anxiety can hold even the most gifted and creative person hostage. I have experience with anxiety and how it effected someone very close to me. With counseling and some medication (for awhile) this person was able to overcome terrible anxiety and is now living a vibrant life and is thriving.</p>

<p>Please ask the school to help you get what you need if your mom will not.</p>

<p>I assume OP is under 18. But in the case of a child that’s really ill, say cancer, what rights does a child have to get treatment? Any legal person out there? Can the school psychologist seek help for the child with the mother’s consent?</p>

<p>Just a little perspective… anxiety isn’t “freaky” but actually a really common really treatable condition. No one is shocked a kid has anxiety or has panic attacks. They are there to help you. This is something they’ve seen before and will see again.</p>

<p>Really, your physician should begin by ruling out physical factors as many can cause anxiety including problems with thyroid for example. If you didn’t get a real exam, seeing another doctor would be a good idea.</p>

<p>Also, if your mom isn’t open to paying or therapy there may be other options. Your guidance counselor may help or may be able to help connect you with someone who will take payment on a sliding scale basis. In the meantime, you may want to check and see if your library has The anxiety and phobia workbook. It is pretty straightforward and people can work it on their own. [Amazon.com:</a> The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook: Edmund J. Bourne: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/157224223X]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/157224223X) </p>

<p>Any kind of self care you can do right now - eating right, avoiding caffeine, getting enough sleep, getting exercise, taking a few minutes to take deep breaths. That is all good. Just learning how to really properly do deep breathing can make a world of difference. [Deep</a> Breathing for Anxiety - How to Practice Deep Breathing for Anxiety](<a href=“http://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/copingwithsad/qt/breathing.htm]Deep”>Breathing Exercises for Anxiety: 9 Techniques for Stress-Relief) Or, google and you’ll find tons of how to. There are probably youtube videos. I know it sounds obvious because of course you know how to breath, but really lots of folks do it wrong. Also, it may help to have a plan for what you will do if you feel a panic attack coming. In addition to breathing many people are helped by doing something especially something physical, walk and focus on how your feet feel on the ground, count your steps, etc. Distract your brain.</p>

<p>Hang in there. Many people, including me, have been where you are and have made it through.</p>

<p>I don’t believe the school is obligated or equipped to “test” for mental health issues, except with regard to learning if they prevent learning in the current placement, or providing a different placement. Your medical and mental health coverage is what you should be pursuing. In many states, treatment for mental health, substance abuse, and pregnancy related issues have special rules that allow kids under 18 to pursue them independently. It is still likely to cost money, and depend on your families insurance, but you CAN persue therapy without “permission”. It will be MUCH easier if your mom is not opposed, but she seems to be okay with it, if you do the groundwork. </p>

<p>Get your insurance card, </p>

<p>Look on the back to see if there is a special number to call to access mental health benefits and referrals. If not, try the main number.</p>

<p>Call the number. Find out if there is a “deductible” (cash you pay before THEY pay), a co-pay, and the number of visits covered. You may not understand the answer, but just write it down. You may need it later, and your mom should be VERY impressed.</p>

<p>Ask for names of providers.</p>

<p>Run them by your primary care doctor if you like. </p>

<p>Make a few calls, and see if you can talk to someone on the phone about setting up an appointment. </p>

<p>A lot of work; unfair that mental health tends to be like that, at least around here, but whatev. When I get calls like that, from minors, I tend to go out of my way to make it work.</p>

<p>oh…</p>

<p>Along the way, someone may let you know if you can’t do this in your state, but YOU won’t be the one to get in "trouble!</p>

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<p>I’ve tired to explain all but one aspect to her (That aspect isn’t too pressing. I’ve always kind of known about it, and it’s not too hard to deal with. It just helps explain the rest in the views of a psychologist.) I just can’t seem to make her understand. She also gets anxiety attacks (Her’s showed up about the same time as mine.), so she thinks because her’s are more severre (but less often), that I must be perfectly fine, but the opposite is true. </p>

<p>A lot of the issues are stemmed from enviormental issues that are happening at home. She tries to ignore those, so in turn she has to ignore how its effecting me. (It’s not all enviormental by any means, but it plays a large part.) </p>

<p>Thanks for all the advice! I’ll look into it!</p>