No leadership (rant)

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>I apologize for the following rant.</p>

<p>[rant]I have no leadership whatsoever in my educational career. </p>

<p>I'm a Senior in high school and I'm about to apply to colleges. I was depressed during my entire childhood, and through serendipitous occasions I was able to get motivated a year and a half ago. Thus I was finally able to see reality and decided to get my education back on track by taking several honors/AP last year. In no time my ambition skyrocketed and I prepared for 10 AP tests in 5 months, passing all of them and getting 5 on six of them. </p>

<p>But what of my ECs/leadership? I have few and undistinguished ECs and no leadership. I tried to start a club this year (Mu Alpha Theta) but was rejected because it is regarded as too troublesome. I have only 1-2 [unimportant] officer positions. My efforts last year thus are completely wasted. "Sure this kid seems smart and has good test scores, but he has no leadership. We don't want him." And because I didn't care about school for the first 2 years, my ranking is abysmal for my top choices. </p>

<p>Since I have no socializing skills because of isolation and depression, I created the club also to make friends with the people what are starting it with me (I am almost unable to make friends in normal situations), but that hope went down the drain as well. </p>

<p>Finally getting motivated only to face significant and insurmountable setbacks, I didn't even mention all the other more depressing crap, both academic and personal, I had to go through all 16 years of my life. What am I supposed to do?! What was the point in getting motivated if ( a lot more) BS is still going to happen anyways?! Why not just let my depression take over my life again?! I hate my life. I hate the admissions process (including affirmative action, which works against me since I'm Asian). And I hate all the unnecessary and unjust BS that life has so far offered me.</p>

<p>That is all.[/rant]</p>

<p><em>cries</em></p>

2

<p>“In no time my ambition skyrocketed and I prepared for 10 AP tests in 5 months, passing all of them and getting 5 on six of them.”</p>

<p>But that’s so absolutely incredible! </p>

<p>“I have only 1-2 [unimportant] officer positions.”</p>

<p>One or two unimportant officer positions is already good enough. I got into college fine with “1-2 unimportant officer positions”, and another person I know in high school got into her top choice, which was a very selective university, with almost no leadership position. It’s not about being the president of a million clubs, but rather about have done something that you’re proud of outside of academics in high school.</p>

3

<p>Oh and btw:</p>

<p>“I hate the admissions process (including affirmative action, which works against me since I’m Asian).”</p>

<p>You spent too much time on this website :rolleyes:. It may work against you, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be going to a good college that you’ll be happy with.</p>

4

<p>The thing is, people who usually lack leadership still have significant ECs that show their passion/abilities. I have neither. Yeah the academic accomplishments I have barely mean anything without ECs/leadership. ='(</p>

<p>I’m just ****ed at AA because many URMS benefit from it even though many of them didn’t have to go through the same amount of crap I did.</p>

5

<p>dude… i have no leadership either… and no officer positions… get over it. just hope for the best and do the best you can with what you have. REMAIN OPTIMISTIC</p>

<p>i’ve never been one of those academic team types and i’ve thought much of running for officer positions (i kinda focused on in school academics) but, i’m applying to top schools anyway. </p>

<p>have faith or pretend you have faith.</p>

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<p>It’s too late for you to try to get some positions, obviously. However, I don’t think leadership is limited to just leadership “titles” (you know, like Pres of this and Captain of that). Have there been any times when you’ve demonstrated leadership through some sort of activity or problem or something like that?</p>

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<p>^^The difference is that we probably have different goals in life and we had different experiences. I don’t think you understand how terrible it feels to finally get motivated and “back on track” from a pit of hopelessness only to have your efforts denied. If feel as if there’s no point in life if unnecessary **** just happens like that. I have gotten over many things, but there’s a fine line between trying get over things and trying to accept the unacceptable, and I have pushed the line back many times already.</p>

<p>^No I don’t believe I had done any such activities. =(</p>

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<p>Which AP’s did you self study for? And how hard was it to self study for em’</p>

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<p>Is this relevant?</p>

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<p>Of course it is otherwise I wouldnt of asked.</p>

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<p>Honestly, I think half of this is a sob story, no offense. </p>

<p>Describe to me your experiences, or else I’m inclined to believe otherwise. Sure, you were unmotivated and what not, but you’re back on track. Honestly, stop complaining and get your **** together. No time for moping/ranting.</p>

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<p>MIThopeful, not to be a grundyist or anything, but you’re not exactly helping the kid.</p>

<p>OP, how many languages do you know? I’m assuming you can speak Chinese fluently. If you’re taking another language like Spanish, Latin, or French, try your best to do whatever you can to get fluent, or at least proficient, in that language.</p>

<p>Proficiency in English, Chinese, Spanish, and Latin would work as a nice spike. Might even be able to get you into a college as prestigious as Cornell if utilized properly in an essay.</p>

<p>Are you a first generation immigrant? If so, also mention that on your app.</p>

<p>Also, how high are your SAT/ACTs? Basically, try to get them up as high as possible. You’ve got at least one more chance.</p>

<p>Oh yeah, and one more thing. I’m Chinese too. Sux, doesn’t it? Try not to suffer from what they call “CC Syndrome” though, it’ll eat away at your soul bit by bit until there’s nothing left.</p>

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<p>Wait a minute…your idea of “being motivated” and “back on track” only means to try to get into a selective college? Not being a better, more mature person? If college is your motive for setting up the clubs…well. </p>

<p>I probably don’t know the whole story, but just because some clubs aren’t going for you, doesn’t mean you should now give up on everything. I got rejected by so many different things. So what? Learn from it. Don’t think that life should happen exactly how you want it to, but rather take advantage of whatever you can get.</p>

<p>I agree with MIThopeful16…describe to us your experiences, cuz right now it is not making good points (with me at least).</p>

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<p>I can speak Chinese, but not write, and I can barely read. I’m taking French right now. </p>

<p>Yes I’m first gen. Neither parents got past middle school, which is why they have no clue what I should do in high school.</p>

<p>2100 on SAT, which is average for Cornell standards and only slightly above average for Berkeley. </p>

<p>My tests scores are good, but my ranking and ECs are absolutely abysmal. Any my schedule is only rigorous last year and this year.</p>

<p>Yeah I feel hopeless right now.</p>

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<p>Alright, to change this from becoming a chancing thread, describe to us your circumstances.</p>

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<p>“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. The enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a *****ty first draft.”- Anne Lamott</p>

<p>“I can speak Chinese, but not write, and I can barely read. I’m taking French right now.”</p>

<p>Excellent. That gives you… what? 2.5 languages? In my judgment, simply being able to communicate in chinese makes you fluent. Now all you gotta do is try to push yourself in French.</p>

<p>“Yes I’m first gen. Neither parents got past middle school, which is why they have no clue what I should do in high school.”</p>

<p>This should give you a slight advantage, at least.</p>

<p>“2100 on SAT, which is average for Cornell standards and only slightly above average for Berkeley.”</p>

<p>If you’re in the 50th percentile, you still have some kind of a shot.</p>

<p>“My tests scores are good, but my ranking and ECs are absolutely abysmal. Any my schedule is only rigorous last year and this year.”</p>

<p>Consider incorporating all these themes into an epic college essay. “I came from China to america in a barren blizzard. The first thing I saw through the snow was the statue of liberty. It symbolized everything this country had to offer. Back then, I had no friends. I didn’t even understand how to speak english. I had no dream.”</p>

<p>Consider writing something similar, but try not to plagiarize that. It was the beginning of a speech I had to give; worked incredibly well.</p>

<p>So yeah, write something along the lines of that, something uber dramatic. It could work.</p>

<p>“Yeah I feel hopeless right now.”</p>

<p>Nothing is hopeless.</p>

<p>At this point, I also agree with MIThopeful and Fatum; it may be helpful if you could elaborate on your experiences.</p>

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<p>I explained my situation a couple of times on this forum but…</p>

<p>(wall of text)</p>

<p>I was depressed for most my life, and is still somewhat depressed. I had no close friends throughout my childhood, so I basically lived a life of isolation. In addition to having depression, I also had severe anger and shyness issues, which made me ever more depressed. I started to fail my classes and continued to do so until sophomore year in high school. During all of this my parents divorced; dad moved to China and basically ignored my mom and I until recently (I supposed it’s because of my improvement in grades, so to make up for his indifference be offered to pay for college since he’s quite rich) while my mom and I moved from crappy apartment one after another (I moved 5 or 6 times). My depression gradually became worse until some incidents (which I won’t give details of) happened while I was in middle school. When I moved to CA I thought about getting a new start, but this didn’t happen until sophomore year. Discovering that I’m gay doesn’t help anything either. Thankfully, I met a friend who is compassionate and understood me, and it was mostly his presence, optimism, intelligence, and advice that helped me get motivated. Soon I was able to motivate myself; during sophomore year, first the first time in my life, I became aware of the world around me instead of the tiny box that I had always lived in. I wanted to achieve something, and the first thing that comes to mind is of course getting better grades. For the first time in my life, I only got A’s and B’s, but unfortunately I took terrible classes. In that year, I also overcame my anger than shyness issues, through much painful efforts. So Junior year, my ambition skyrocketed and I took 10 AP tests, but I only took 2 H and 1 AP class at school (I didn’t try out for more. Even though I was motivated sophomore year, it wasn’t enough for me to jump from taking trashy classes to something like 3 APs and 2 H). This year I’m taking 5 APs. Great, I got my academics back on track, but I have almost no noticeable ECs. I missed all the opportunities I had to try out for good summer programs and officer positions. I like Astronomy, but I have nothing on my resume to show that I do. Same thing with Political Science, other than the fact that I’m in JSA. What destroyed me today was that my club got rejected (my fault mainly, since the club I’m starting takes much effort and is somewhat duplicates another club - should have went for Astronomy Club), therefore eliminating any chance of showing leadership. Really, what are all my efforts for if I’m going to get rejected my colleges anyways? One thing that would really cheer me up right now would be finding another way to show leadership or interest in Astronomy/PoliSci (such as programs), besides clubs, before the application season.</p>

<p>/emo</p>

<p>There are other depressing stuff I didn’t mention.</p>

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<p>how about join an amateur astronomy group and spend time with that? Join an organization? Or even better, start an organization about polisci…</p>

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<p>“I’m just ****ed at AA because many URMS benefit from it even though many of them didn’t have to go through the same amount of crap I did.”</p>

<p>Oh, honey. You really have no clue, do you?</p>

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<p>Thanks for pointlessly reviving this thread to discuss and irrelevant topic and you already sounds like you’ve infused quite a bit of hostility and bias into it judging from your holier-than-thou attitude. /sarcasm</p>

<p>How can I request to lock this thread?</p>