Non Custodial Parent Waiver Questions

Paying for College
1

I have no idea who my NCP is and have never had contact with him.

I have a couple of questions about applying for the waiver:

  1. Can I submit a copy of my birth certificate with no father listed as evidence?

  2. For the third party letter, can my mother’s boyfriend write it? He’s been in my life since I was born and knows about the situation.

  3. If my mother’s boyfriend can’t be the third party, my next best option is my school counselor. However, she’s not very involved with each individual student’s life and family situation as I go to a very large public high school. How should I approach her about this and should I just directly explain to her my family situation or does it have to be based on her own knowledge of my family situation?

I don’t have any other people (like clergy or social workers) that know about this situation. How did you guys go about getting a third party letter?

2

I don’t know which school is requiring the info on the NCP, but yes, I’d think you could use your birth certificate if necessary. Each school can set its own rules, but most seem to understand the modern climate that many student do not know their birth fathers or that that parent isn’t involved and there is nothing the student can do about it.

As to the letter, yes, anyone can write it. I don’t think he should say he’s the boyfriend, just “I’ve known the Smith family for 18 years and Suzie has not had a father involved in her life. Betsy has been a single mother supporting Suzie alone for 18 years…”

3 Likes
3

  1. Can I submit a copy of my birth certificate with no father listed as evidence? yes

  2. For the third party letter, can my mother’s boyfriend write it? He’s been in my life since I was born and knows about the situation. most places want someone who is a third party…not sure the boyfriend would qualify

  3. If my mother’s boyfriend can’t be the third party, my next best option is my school counselor. However, she’s not very involved with each individual student’s life and family situation as I go to a very large public high school. How should I approach her about this and should I just directly explain to her my family situation or does it have to be based on her own knowledge of my family situation?

your school counselor has your school records which show there has been no other parent in the picture at all during your time in school. This is a point that can help you. I’m guessing your school counselor has been asked to do this before…or the head of guidance has been.

If you have a clergy person who knows your family…perhaps they could write this letter.

You can contact colleges and ask them what they would like as documentation that you have never had any contact with this other parent and don’t know who the person is…or where they are.

2 Likes
4

Yes, that is likely to be helpful to document that the NCP is truly unknown.

Probably best would be a third party without an interest in the matter, such as:

  • School counselor or official (using school records which have no indication of another parent).
  • Medical provider (using medical records which have no indication of another parent).
  • Clergy or social worker – you mentioned not knowing any, but perhaps your mother does?
2 Likes
5

The thing is, my mother’s boyfriend is listed in the school records as my father. I think it was necessary back in elementary school so that he would have the right to pick me up from school and things like that. At this point, do you think I’m allowed to be like “this guy isn’t actually my biological father lol”? And by school records, do you mean what I was talking about above, where it lists who your parents are, or is it like a record of parents showing up to conferences and such (which neither my mother or her boyfriend really ever attend)?

6

Should he claim to be a family friend? I heard that letters from a family friend don’t hold as much as weight as a neutral third party. Is that true?

7

Please don’t make things up when applying for a non-custodial waiver.

The boyfriend is not your father unless he adopted you.

Please speak to your high school counselor about this. I’m quite sure this isn’t the first time this has been requested.

If the boyfriend was listed as your father, that was not correct…I’d check that. I worked in a school for my whole career, and all that was needed for someone other than a parent to pick a kid up was written permission from the parent to do so.

2 Likes
8

echoing Thumper- please speak to your counselor about this.

Kids have all sorts of pickup arrangements- grandparents, neighbors, child care providers, an aunt or uncle. In my state, you need photo ID and the letter on file from an actual parent or legal guardian listing that person as the pickup person.

Period. You do not need to be related to the child in question. I was the pickup person in my neighborhood for a lot of kids because for a time I worked near the elementary school and a lot of parents commuted and couldn’t get to the school in a hurry if there was an emergency. Not related to these kids, nobody’s BF or GF.

Let your counselor sort this out.

2 Likes