Non-traditional single parent student... I need help!

Parents Forum
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<p>Cpt - My paralegal degree is an AS. I am ALSO getting a traditional AA with all of the liberal arts and distribution requirements, and I am taking honors in those classes, earning an Honor’s certificate, and most likely I will graduate with highest honors, as long as I keep my GPA above a 3.75. Of course I agree that I really only know about qualifications for paralegal work down here, but an independent 1-2 attorney law firm is not going to have the same high standards as a corporate one, I assure you. Even if I can’t find a job as a paralegal, I am totally fine with a secretarial position, preferably at an atty or dr.'s office. </p>

<p>I’m asking about privates because that’s my dream and my goal. Yeah, I can get into UF, no problem whatsoever, USF even more so, and that’s what I’ll do if I absolutely have to. I’m not talking a whole lot about my backup plan because it’s just a given. I don’t need to come onto a forum and ask for details about an item I already have in my back pocket. But I really hate it here, I have ever since I moved here, and if I can get out, I’m going to. Not only that, but UF and USF are not in any way whatsoever the kind of schools I want to attend. The size of UF is the size of my entire hometown. I lived in Gainesville and would prefer not to live there again. I really haven’t looked into Stetson a whole lot.</p>

<p>Perhaps I don’t have a shot ANYWHERE out of state. Perhaps every single private will laugh in my face, and every net price will be totally unaffordable. So… then I’ll go to a Florida school. If that’s my only option left.</p>

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<p>Right now you have a place to live, a support system for your child, a job that gets you and your son by, and a school that offers an AS in Paralegal studies which gives you the possibility of getting a certification in that field that makes you more marketable and able to make more money. Once you get that certification, you want to find a better and higher paying job, as you continue to go to school and get a general AS degree with enough academic courses that will make you an attractive transfer student. You are looking to get accepted to college/university as a transfer student, and you will need to have financial aid to pay for most, if not all of your tuition, fees, and other expenses. You will hopefully have at that time enough funds saved so that you can move yourself and your son to whatever schools so accepts you, and you will maybe look for a part time job to make up any discrepancies in cost. You need also need to find housing and resources for your son.
That is quite the challenge. The easiest thing to do, which is still very difficult, is to find a state school near where you are and upgrade your living conditions as you get the more money from work, and get your BA that way. With a high gpa and high LSATs, you could get into a state law school, and at that point, be eligible to borrow what is needed to get through it. Whether that is a financial wise decision…well, lawyers are having a tough go of things in terms of finding jobs, as you should well know, being in the field. </p>

<p>People do what I’ve outlined above all of the time. As I said in my other posts, it may not be in law but in any number of fields, they get their degrees over time as they work to support themselves and their families, with certifications and degrees opening doors of opportunities to them and paying them more.
Where your plan gets shaky, in that you want to then apply to a number of pricey colleges, private colleges, out of state universities, in hopes of getting enough money to get your bachelors there, rather than locally. You intend to have money saved by then, as seed money to make a move to whatever school accepts you , that you most like, get a place to live, and hopefully be able to attend school full time. </p>

<p>The problem is that hardly any school in the country will give even close to full need to cover those costs and private schools are very, very expensive. Transfer students, non traditional students, OOS (for state schools) are at the bottom of the barrel for what money is out there. Yes, give it a try, and check out some programs and scholarships that target students like you, but be aware that there are very few, and to get one is about as easy as getting accepted to Harvard College, Yale or Princeton university, and even more difficult. Very few slots, a lot of applicants, so little money out there. So telling someone about these programs is tatamount to suggesting that a high school senior apply to the Ivy league schools because their aid is so good. Yes, a student should do so, but also be very aware that the chances of getting accepted are very small, and have some sure things and more likely options on their lists. </p>

<p>Amore doable option is to move back with family who can help you out while you get situated, finding a job, getting state residency for tuition purposes, and then apply to a state school there. Less money needed, more support, better chance of getting accepted. Some safety margin if things take longer, you don’t get the pay you need, if things are more expensive than planned, and if your son needs more help. I’m not talking about having family some distance away, but right near by, and possibly you moving in with them until you get situated.</p>

<p>Even for top students graduating directly from college with good test scores, getting a"full ride" is very difficult and rare. Such students are the cream of the crop and what college most want, but the colleges also want them to be paying customers, granting aid and scholarships only the few that they most want. So it’s tough even under ideal circumstances. You have other issues that need to be addressed that such students do not. </p>

<p>So do give it a go, but understand that you need a number of alternatives that are likely to happen, not just the lottery tickets.</p>

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<p>Right, which is why I’ll go to UF or USF if I apply and no one will take me or give me something I can even consider affording.</p>

<p>I am still considering moving somewhere to gain residency, and 95% sure that place would be Virginia. UVa is also my top choice for law school.</p>

<p>I am point blank not staying in Florida past a bachelor’s degree and I plan to move regardless of school. </p>

<p>I understand the current employment statistics for attorneys. Hence, the BA/BS in bio or health science and MPH.</p>

<p>Getting into a FL university with a FL AA is quite possibly easier and less painful than getting your driver’s license. So, I have my lottery tickets, and an entire state’s worth of aces in the hole.</p>

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<p>OP,
I left my wonderful job in NE for FL for one reason only: family support. Child care first, my career second. Get your degree, then move where you want to be. A paralegal degree will pay more than secretarial. If I wanted child care, say in emergency, my parents said only in 20 minute range. I turned down down 2 great university/research job to live close. </p>

<p>Right now you need a degree, then go live where life will be easier. Do not overestimate how much family will really help. In my case, it was the grandparents. Perhaps you have sisters? brothers? aunts?</p>

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<p>Mrs. B: why don’t you start calling the various women’s colleges with programs for non-traditional students (Wellesley, Bryn Mawr, Mt. Holyoke, and Smith). Find out what they can offer in the way of financial aid–that’s probably the most important issue for you since tuition at all of these schools is in the $40K range. At the same time, find out about Pell grants and other monies that might be available to you. See if these non-traditional women’s college programs can offer resources to help you find housing for yourself and your son. I believe these programs allow students to take courses part-time so that they can also work. </p>

<p>It sounds like MHC and Smith are closest to family who could help you and provide a support system. Since it seems that you don’t care for large urban areas (based on what you’ve said above about NYC and Boston), you might be quite comfortable in the Northampton/Amherst area. It’s also cheaper to live there than it is in more urban areas.</p>

<p>All of the women’s colleges with the programs for non-traditional students are well respected and a degree from any of them along with a high GPA and LSAT score will help you get into law school. I would focus on getting an undergraduate degree first–don’t focus on law school until you’ve started undergraduate studies.</p>

<p>BTW, Jonri is a lawyer and she knows of what she speaks.</p>

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<p>OP - The supportive FL grandparents sound very nice. Please, please… think long and hard before doing any moves north if they would follow. FL has a lower cost of living, especially for retirees.</p>

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<p>Where all these relatives live is meaningless unless these relatives can be counted on for full-time, reliable, quality, free-or-dirt-cheap daycare for you. That’s what you need most.</p>

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<p>Those programs at Smith, Holyoke and other women’s colleges are lottery tickets. It’s like telling someone that HPY gives great financial aid. The OP certainly should give it a go, research the programs and make sure she makes herself as competitive as possible and have all ot the things required and recommended for them. </p>

<p>There is absolutely NOTHING different from the OP and literally the hundreds of thousands of other students going to a local CC or state school program, and wanting to leave the area for a full ride or as close to it as possible at a residential university that gives them enough money so that they can go to school full time and get their degree. It’s the way most students are going through college. At the present, the OP is not done with her paralegal program, don’t know how much longer that is going to take, has to pass the exam which is not a walk in the park to get so certified, and then look for a job to pay her way for getting an AA at the community college. How much PELL and loans she has used might be an issue as there are limits to what a student can take out. She’s yet to get a “real” job it seems, as she refers to her work study job, and how much experience she has in a law firm is not clear. As I said, my brother who has a small law firm , has only college grads as para legals. He has plenty vying for those jobs that went to college, got some degree that did not yield a working wage, went back to get a Paralegal certification to make themselves more employable. It’s not like there is a shortage of paralegals, at least in his area, and to be a contract paralegal, one needs experience and exposure to a lot of cases in a law firm setting where the support is there for one to learn how to deal with different situations. Those who do that are often old hands that are now going for flexible hours as they know their stuff and the system inside out. I don’t see someone coming right out of certification with no on hands experience able to go into this sort of thing.</p>

<p>A lot of young people get these ideas and make plans, not understanding the odds and difficulties of the execution. I work free lance and part time at statistical analysis and on the surface, it looks like it’s easy and lucrative. Nope. I had over 30 years of experience with some of the leading edge firms and knew my stuff inside, outside, upside, down side, before I took clients, v-e-r-y selectively, only what I knew I could handle. I’ve hired some colege kids, grads, and yes, unemployed lawyers (3 of them ) to help out and they would get it in their heads that this is a quick and easy way to make money., when it is just about impossible to do without putting in the time in the field and getting to know the players well, and hooking up with a established systems that you have to learn and pay them to keep up with their changes in methodology and laws and practices. My nut just to have the option to do this is about $20K a year, and every year, I have to decide whether it’s worth it to pay it and then get enough business to cover it,which I did not last year, and probably won’t this year. I know some folks thinking they want to get into this as the pay per project is high. Good luck to them. It took me the full 30 years of working in the field to get to that point.</p>

<p>So it is with a lot of free lance positons. I think it’s great that the OP is looking at the future, but she may take 4 years to get an AA degree. Then needs to transfer to get her BA. IT’s more a matter of who will take her that is affordable at that point in time, and I don’t think there will be a long list of prospects. UF and USF are not aces in the hole either in terms of cost when a student has run out of PELL and Stafford loan eligibility THey do do not meet full need for most students. I don’t know what Florida has other that BF in terms of grants for students going to college. </p>

<p>Family are delighted to see other family members and have them move nearby, but if you are an unpaying houseguest, your welcome is often very comparable to how how long sushi stays fresh. You know the old adage about house guest and fish,. One of our kids is living with us, and it’s getting very old, and he does not have a child, pays rent and has a plan that is 90% viable. It’s still a tough go. My best friend’s DD is trying to find a job at a law firm, has a child the age of OP’s, has a husband here already working and is finding the going rough. She’s a magna cum laude graduate from a major university, with law experience with a reputable firm and she may be doing paralegal work for while. Jobs in law are hard to find.</p>

<p>So the OP would be in the clover if she can get her paralegal certification, and job that pays a living wage in that field. Then, over time work her way to an AA, BA and maybe law school. Money will be a big issue.</p>

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<p>I know it seems like “many years” since high school and you feel very non-traditional. But yoiu are on the very young end of the scale for non-traditional students. Along with CC, I would suggest looking into programs like Lesley, Goddard, Union Institute, UMass University without Walls and others that are geared to “adult learners” ( involving low residency programs, online, or independent work). And of course the many continuing education and extension programs that are out there, as well, but some of those are ONLY in the evenings, so I think programs with maximum flexibility that also allow daytime classes work best, depending on your schedule. State Universities are often quite flexible and allow you to go in and out as your life demands, for a small fee.</p>

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<p>OP- hugs to you. You’ve for sure got a challenging situation on your hands, and you seem to be managing with your sense of humor intact which speaks very well for your coping skills!</p>

<p>I find it puzzling that you are reacting in anger to some of the suggestions people here are making. Wouldn’t it be worse if everyone were throwing out names of colleges “Go to Rochester- it’s colder and cheaper than downstate NY” or “My cousin graduated from Virginia Tech and she makes a ton of money as a computer scientist” without any regard for your particular situation?</p>

<p>I know it is frustrating that your question- essentially, where can I get enough aid, and work enough hours on the side, to get myself and my son out of Florida and into a better living situation for the long term-- has earned you a bunch of advice which you don’t think you’ve asked for.</p>

<p>But I say this with respect- your big picture plan is wonderfully ambitious but has a couple of major flaws, both in planning and in execution. And all the inspiring anecdotes you will hear, and all the inspirational people you may meet who tell you to “just go for it” are all very well and good, but the next ear infection or need for speech therapy or if you get the flu because you only sleep four hours a night…well, the heartwarming stories about living on Lucky Charms only go so far.</p>

<p>I could ask you, “Why aren’t you getting child support from your kid’s father?” and you will think, “Boy is she clueless”. You are for sure the expert on why or why not you are not married to this man, and why or why not you are getting financial support from him to raise your child. So-- and since you want to go to law school-- suspend your disbelief for a moment, and think through in a logical manner… perhaps some of YOUR questions and statements, resonate as “Boy is she clueless” with some knowledgeable posters here.</p>

<p>I am not one of them. I have no particular understanding of the Florida job market and although I know a couple of women who have completed some of these untraditional student programs, virtually all of them had family support (not financial, but at least a roof over their head, free baby-sitting, and often use of a car) to do so.</p>

<p>So I’m not going to tell you how to pull off your plan. But I can tell you that the fastest way out of your life situation, from where I sit, is to complete a BA degree from an accredited university, in the most efficient way possible (i.e. cheapest and fastest.) Everything else is a kinda/shoulda/woulda. That university may not be where you want it to be geographically. It may not have the ambiance you are looking for. It may not “fit” intellectually. I get that. But believe me that your employment options are significantly better as a person with a college degree than without. There are significant opportunity costs to you for any plan which delays you getting your degree- every month that goes by with you earning $8 or $11 dollars an hour when it is very clear that intellectually you are capable of so much more, is a month where that income is gone forever. So whatever marginal benefit may come from graduating from a school which you think is more prestigious has to be weighed against all the lost income for the extra time it’s going to take.</p>

<p>I’m not sure why you need a JD/MPH anyway, but fine, right now, you need to get back on track economically and logistically, and that means figuring out the fastest and cheapest Bachelor’s degree. You need to understand that since the job market for lawyers is terrible right now, adding another degree to it will add to your debt without necessarily adding any more employment flexibility. You need to be admitted to a bar somewhere for the law degree to have any potency in the job market… and you can be a lawyer interested in health and public health without another master’s degree on top of it.</p>

<p>But don’t get ahead of yourself. And please don’t react with anger when well meaning strangers try to give you advice. You have the option of doing whatever the hell you want anyway… but maybe you posted because subconsciously you kind of know that you need a little more help than your stated purpose???</p>

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<p>I’ll add my voice to those who have recommended the non-trad student programs at the women’s colleges. The student atmosphere at these schools is really in line with what you are looking for, and the fact that they have these programs is a statement as to how committed they are to working with women in situations like yours.</p>

<p>I’d also add that for Smith and Mr. Holyoke, in particular, the surrounding community is fantastic for someone who want to raise a child in an educationally vibrant area with lots of natural beauty. Lots of “chosen family” type social groups, too, so plenty of opportunities for a single mom to find a social circle that fits her life.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>To get back to practical matters if you can establish residency in VA and have support there it may be worth it to move there to work on your A.A there. then if you can get into UVA it’ll be cheaper and it won’t hold you back from applying to the women’s colleges which are probably the closest to what you want and which really take your situation into account. I think that Virginia piedMont community college has an automatic admission agreement with UVA for its honors students so you might want to check this out.</p>

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<p>Call Smith. Now. Three years out is great, it gives you time to work with them, talk to them, learn about the program. I didn’t go Ada Comstock, but I knew several people who did, and they were fabulous, the program is fabulous, they know what you need and how to get it. Even if you don’t go there, I’m sure they’d give better advice than anyone on this forum, because they deal with your issues every day. And they respect your issues, and the school respects you, and the students and teachers think Adas are great. Call them.</p>

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<p>I agree with Blossom. The OP says she is destitute right now with a little fellow that she has to raise. It appears that she is living off college financial aid, which is possible when the costs are very low as they can be for Florida community colleges. She can get the full PELL , loans and some work study, maybe even some grant money, and make ends meet, barely, but so doing. I think that she’s doing absolutely the right thing going for a career type program that will put her in the market for a job with a living wage, if indeed a paralegal has such prospects. That part, I don’t know, but if OP has researched it and it is indeed the case, not the way things are with lawyers, then good. Great, actually. When she gets that certification and finds a job, things will loosen up a bit. Then a few more years at an inexpensive CC with some money coming in with the job, again is a great goal and very doable. </p>

<p>The next step to get that Bachelor’s from a 4 year university can be tough. The tuition for those schools is usually a step or more higher in cost, and the OP might be running out of Stafford loan and Pell monies. There ia an indication she was in school once before all of this. Also the FL state schools do not meet full need for most students. Still part time and flex programs are likely to be there, and the OP can get her degree there if all things work out. That she gets a scholarship sufficinet to go elsewhere…that 's a whole other story. She should try, but the likelihood of getting something and the funds to make it work are small, just like it is for any students shooting for the top schools and getting full rides. Being a transfer is going to make it even rougher. Earlier college transcripts, including that “F” course will requested. Can’t just flush them away. And federal aid might be used up at this point and the little fguy will be getting older and having more needs as well. Moving somewhere not knowing anyone in the immediate vicinity that will make the commitment to help out is going to be a tough go. Do check out the Ada Comstock program and others like it–just google non traditional student and some sites will pop up. You might want to do this sooner rather than later as some of theise programs may have requirements that need to be met through things you have to do now to have a chance to getting accepted to them. Bear in mind that these are highly selective program.</p>

<p>Thinking about ones direction for after getting the UG degree is just fine. OP is going to be very busy just working on her Paralegal program and certification, job search, raising her son, working a job, getting an AA and then the BA/BS. Sometimes one just has to get it done and it won’t be through the best program, the ideal courses, exactly as planned, or anything like what one planned.</p>

<p>Good luck. You have some goals, both long and short term.</p>

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<p>Women’s colleges are great at this, as several have already mentioned. Try the small Southern women’s colleges as well, though – particularly the ones in Virginia. Here’s
one that you might like:
[Nontraditional</a> Women Students Earning a Bachelor’s Degree](<a href=“http://www.hollins.edu/admissions/horizon/index.shtml]Nontraditional”>http://www.hollins.edu/admissions/horizon/index.shtml)</p>

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<p>OP - I really like your spunk and optimism and tolerance to advsersity. But from what I’ve raed for a few years on these CC threads, law school is NOT a good direction. I’ve advised several families to research it carefully… education costs are high and law opportunities are limited. For now just focus on AA and possibly BA/BS.</p>

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<p>The OP has just started her Paralegal program, it appears, so she has a long way to go to tweek and even completely change career plans. She still has to get through this program, pass the certification test for it, and then find a job. At that point she can try a number of different things, some of the well funded non traditional student programs like the Comstack one at Smith, other schools as a transfer, or just stay as is and get the AA to enhance transfer chances, or transfer to UF or other 4 year school at that point in time. I don’t think that she would be an attractive transfer candidate wth just the vocational degree. The OP seems to feel that way too, as she is planning to continue at a CC for a full AA that puts her in good postion to transfer to a selective school, a number of which she has listed. </p>

<p>Full Pell, full independent student Stafford loan, work study, low tution, COA adjusted for independent with child, low COLA, some help from family and friends, maybe a few bucks from little guy’s grandparents, all make this possible. But run out of PELL and Staffords, increase that tuition from comm college rates even to 4 year state school ones, older child with more needs, having to report income when the job is no longer work study, … that’s when it gets tight. Unless OP can find a school that will fund her fully, it’s going to be difficult to do, and we all know how difficult it is to get money out of colleges. Getting big aid packages, scholarships, acceptance to generously funded programs (and a number of those non traditional ones are such programs) is very much a lottery process with small odds. Gotta play to win but have to have realistic plans in place too which OP seems to have, though she is not looking at them as real possibiliities, but we all like to dream through a pipe, and sometimes they do come true. .</p>

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<p>General Law is not currently a very viable career path right now, but OP has a specialty in mind (Health Law, Public Health) that is actually likely to grow. Assuming she continues to follow the path to a JD/MPH, she would be well qualified for jobs in Hospital Administration, as well as the sure-to-boom fields surrounding care for the aging. </p>

<p>But, generally speaking, it is true that going to Law School just to “be a lawyer” is not a good bet these days. Too many people did that in the 80s and 90s and now the industry is over-full.</p>

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<p>One does not need a law degree to be qualified for a job in Hospital Administration. And one does not need an MPH to do Health Law. This credential creep is irritating when the 17 year olds post (the kids who are triple majoring, or who are trying to pick a college based on one that will allow them to major in several things simultaneously to give them “career options”) but the grown ups here should be especially sensitive when it’s a non-teenager who by her own description is almost destitute.</p>

<p>All good law schools will have clinics and elective opportunities which will give exposure to health law, one doesn’t need an entire degree program (and the associated costs- which for this young woman means MORE loans to pay off) to do health law. And if the goal is a job in public health or health administration, law school is probably three years of wasted tuition and time.</p>

<p>Reality check please.</p>

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<p>Anyone know what the prospects in the Florida area, near UF and nationwide, in general, are for a certified paralega without a degree? My brother doesn’t hire any–they all have Bachelor’s and most got their certifications afterwards at his law firm. </p>

<p>As far as getting a job straight from law school, it’s a tough go even in specialty areas, and experience in the areas in other work environments trump a joint degree. I know any number of recent law school grads, many with incrediible academic records that can’t find a job in law. Some law schools are finally tighteing up the admissions so that they are not dumping all those lawyers into the market that cannot find work. Work in any of the health,medical related fields is growing with, or without the law degree. I’ve advised kids with general Liberal Arts degrees to get a certification in something, take a few courses and get a toe in the door for anything to do with those fields,and that has been a good way to get into the job market and segue ones way into what one really wants to do within those fields. </p>

<p>But the OP is a long, long way from all of this. She still needs to get throught the Paralegal course and get certified. Have no idea what that entails for her and what the chances are of passing the requisite exam for certification, and what job opportunies and pay are in her area when she completes step 1. That’s why I was asking. </p>

<p>Then step 2 is getting the AA. Maybe go directly to a BA program if she can gain entry into one that gives enough financial aid to make it happen. That’s the biggie here. Most of the time, that doesn’t happen. And even when you do get that AA, you are faced with that step for the next two years to get bachelor’s and those schools and programs tend to cost more, and transfers go to the bottom of the already depleted financial aid rolls. Right there is the sticking point. With the aid she has right now and the COL and COA all make it doable at the community college level.</p>

<p>My friend is having similar issues with her son right now. He was in the gravy going to communtiy college. Took 3 1/2 years to get to the point where he had to transfer to get his bachelor’s, and then all of a sudden it was unaffordable. The state schools where he lives, have very high tuition, like the highest in the country. That step up from cc rates to 4 year school rates make it unaffordable for him even with the extra Stafford money obtained (to independent levels) with mom being declined for PLUS. And the schools themselves won’t cough up a dime. He needs to work, save some money, keep a part time job have a good working car, to commute to another state school, living with his dad and getting that state residency. That’s the only alternative for him right now. And he’s used up 4 out of his 6 year PELL eligibility and all but a year and a half of Stafford loan entitlement. I see this alll of the time. </p>

<p>The OP does have nearby 4 year college options at state rates, and in a state where rates are low, so she has that in her favor. If doable, I would recommend that she transfer immediately to a BA program at UF or FSU if nearby and get her degree there so she doesn’t risk running out of the PELL and DIrect loan (Stafford) funds which are what are likely fueling her living expenses as well as paying for the Paralegal course. Looking a head and savoring the possibilities is great, and yes, I do commend her for doing this, and those wonderful non traditional student programs should be something for her to actively pursue, maybe even now, or at very least get into position to have the best shot in the near future. But if they don’t pan out, she can’t run out of federal entitlement funds, before getting her Bachelor’s because, it will be a problem even with the local options that she so downplays and says she despises and looks at a last resorts, if she doesn’t watch that very , very carefully.</p>