Not a parent, but need help dealing w/ a stubborn father!

Parents Forum
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<p>WHY do people give this advice? It is not easy for an undergrad student to become an instate resident in a state where their parents do NOT reside. It just isn't...and for good reason. Plus...that wouldn't help the OP a bit with Emerson or Syracuse which are private universities.</p>

<p>If this is all about the money...perhaps when your scholarship info comes in, you can have a more realistic discussion about this.</p>

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<p>What state do you live in now? Any good state schools you applied to there?</p>

<p>What is your full list of schools? Is it too late to apply somewhere else where you will get substantial merit and be happy or your state U? Apply to a few more schools quickly, if you can. </p>

<p>Your 529 money is good to use anywhere (private of public) I believe as we are in NY and have accts for both sons and can use the money for any school. Actually, when we withdraw, we just call and ask them to send us a check. No questions asked as far as school, use, etc, just which child's acct.</p>

<p>At the worst (and really, it is not so bad), can you agree to go to UF (many, many students are happy there and it has a great reputation) and transfer if you are unhappy?
See what happens with acceptances and merit money, but UF as a fallback is pretty good.</p>

<p>Also, remember, besides your Dad's restrictions on Uf or a CC, we parents are very concerned with finances right now. We will be making up the shortfalls of local, state and national debt. We lost retirement (or college) money in the stock market. The equity we have in our homes is now way down. We don't know how long it will be before we feel comfortable again. It is time to be more realistic about college costs.</p>

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<p>Can you clarify if your parents did a 529 plan in FL or if they participated in the prepaid plan. That works slightly differently. As I understand it, people who paid into the prepaid plan are locked into the tuition cost at the time they signed up. So, if UF's tuition was say 3,000/yr when your parents signed up for you, thats all they would have to pay now, and the funds come from the prepaid account (dont know if the room/board fees were also locked in as well). If it was the prepaid plan and you choose to go to a school outside of FL, you get the money paid into the plan back, but forfeit all the interest it earned. I don't know what happens if the fund lost money in this economy.</p>

<p>As some have suggested above, have you considered some other Fl schools like U of Tampa, USF or other schools that arent as huge as UF or FSU? Does the prepaid plan work only for the public schools in FL or do any of the private schools (eg U of Miami) participate as well? If it isn't too late, you might want to looks at these as well. Good luck.</p>

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<p>did you look at New College of Florida? Very reasonably priced for in state students - not sure if the fund your mother started is able to be used for it, but it is a highly regarded school for motivated and intelligent students.</p>

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<p>I know a student who is at U Penn. in grad school, and another student who got a masters from Johns Hopkins after they graduated from Florida's New College, so don't rule it out. However, frankly, if you're serious about journalism, UF is an excellent school for that field.</p>

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<p>UF is a fabulous school for Journalism. Your father is not the bad guy in this situation. He can only afford what he can afford and I'm sure even that will be a struggle for the family. </p>

<p>If you get a scholarship that brings the bottom line cost of one of your "dream schools" close to the cost of attending UF, then you can attempt to renegotiate with Dad. Otherwise, be thankful for the opportunity you are being given by your Dad. There are plenty of other kids out there that can only dream of being in your situation.</p>

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<p>jigfeet - the scholarship my D was awarded was the Founder's Scholarship. I think there are three levels of scholarships that are awarded on your application you've already submitted. These are merit based scholarships.</p>

<p>
[quote]
All completed applications for admission to Syracuse University from U.S. citizens and permanent residents will automatically be evaluated for a merit-based scholarship. No separate application is required. These scholarships are awarded regardless of financial need.</p>

<p>Merit-based scholarships are awarded to entering first-year students in the form of Founders' Scholarships, Chancellor's Scholarships, and Dean's Scholarships.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Office</a> of Admissions</p>

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<p>Honestly I think your father is right. Money is a really big issue and UF is not a bad college. Besides the fact that all undergraduate programs are basically the same at any college and really do no matter as much as say a graduate program. I'm not saying that just because UF is my school but if you look at from a different standpoint. Any college in florida is better money wise but will not compete with Ivy or private. I mean if you are as smart as you say there are scholarships especially at your intelligence level. I know emory has so many scholarships that about half of the 40,000 is covered! You should NOT go to UF though if you have visited it and detest it! Because life is too short to be unhappy, and if you die tomorrow at LEAST you will have gone to your dream College.! good luck!</p>

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<p>"Any college in florida is better money wise but will not compete with Ivy or private. "</p>

<p>THere are many colleges in Florida that can compete with private schools, just not the very top private schools. UF is better than are most private schools in the country. It's more highly regarded than are Syracuse and Emerson, the schools the OP wants to attend.</p>

<p>If I were his dad, I wouldn't pay the extra money for him to attend Emerson or Syracuse. We aren't talking about the difference between UF and, for instance, Yale or Harvard.</p>

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<p>You are not a Florida state resident, I notice. What are your own instate options? You can also borrow and work for the difference.</p>

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<p>"I applied to 5 other schools, including my two dream schools: Emerson College (in boston) and Syracuse University (in NY), and been accepted into all of them so far, INCLUDING EMERSON! (still extremely happy about that!!)"</p>

<p>For this to be true, you have to have applied EA to Emerson, ED to Syracuse. Once you got your ED admission to Syracuse, you were supposed to withdraw all of your other applications and turn down any other admissions. The only reason that Syracuse will release you from your ED admission is if you can not afford to go there or have an emergency situation like a seriously ill parent whom you wish to live near. If you try to back out for any other reason, the other private schools that you applied to may rescind your application or reject you since ED schools send other schools the names of ED-accepted students.</p>

<p>As for UF, since you're an out of state student and UF is being flooded with applications from stellar in-state students who want to go there because it's much cheaper than private colleges, there's a big chance that if you haven't been accepted there yet, you won't be accepted there. It's much harder for out of state students to be accepted to public universities than it is for in state students.</p>

<p>The schools that you've been accepted to have lower admission standards than does UF.</p>

<p>"A hint about Josh Gardner's allegiances: He has Gator bedsheets.</p>

<p>But because gaining admission to the University of Florida has become so competitive, Gardner -- a senior at New Smyrna Beach High School who's applying for colleges -- knew his chances of landing in Gainesville were next to impossible.</p>

<p>So, he settled on a clear-cut choice and applied at a couple of other state schools as backups.</p>

<p>The problem is, the first choice -- the University of Central Florida in Orlando -- is not sure about him yet. The University of North Florida in Jacksonville rejected him. Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton -- where the rents he says will be too costly -- accepted him.</p>

<p>In what higher education experts are calling a "perfect storm" of circumstances, gaining admission to state schools like UCF and UNF -- not to mention UF -- is getting tougher and tougher, leaving students like Gardner unsure that he'll be where he wants to be in 2009....</p>

<p>Many students who might, otherwise, only be applying to private, out-of-state colleges, are also applying to Florida state schools as an economic safety net....</p>

<p>The actual number of high school graduates in the state remains at a peak. At the same time, the universities are facing budget cuts, with some planning to cap enrollment as a way to control costs...."
East</a> Volusia News - newsjournalonline.com</p>

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<p>OP- if you and your dad were to go to counseling the conversation might go like this:</p>

<p>Kid- you are fixated on Emerson and Syracuse. Why not start at the beginning and define what you are looking for in a college experience? Why journalism? what do you know about these schools that suggest they are your "dream school" and what do you know about career paths that suggest you want to find a school to study this particular discipline?</p>

<p>Dad- you seem fixated on kid attending UF. Please tell me what goals and aspirations you have for kid, and why UF meets those goals. Are there other schools that meet those goals as well, and have you explored enough of them to state with certainty that they are unaffordable or unacceptable to you?</p>

<p>So OP- do some homework before you re engage your dad on the subject of Emerson and Syracuse.</p>

<p>This isn't about me or my kids-- but we were a full freight family and were happy to pay every dime for a school that met our kids educational needs. Having said that, I would have needed a very compelling, organized, and well thought out presentation before I paid full freight for Emerson, given the number of top quality options out there for a kid with your stats who wants to study English/writing. So I think you've got some homework to do.</p>

<p>I know many Emerson grads, students, and wanna-bees. If the attraction for you is the chance to live in Boston, I don't blame your dad for not wanting to hand over a blank check.</p>

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<p>NSM-
The OP clarified in post #8 that he/she hasn't heard from Syracuse yet.</p>

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<p>to give the OP credit, if it's journalism he wants, Syracuse's Newhouse is one of the top three in the country (depending on whose ranking you look at), and Emerson provides an experience not matched by most other schools when it comes to journalism AND communication. But they're both quite different kinds of schools. When D1 was looking for communication schools, they both were often suggested and Syracuse's program is highly, highly selective. But the OP has similar/higher stats than my daughter who was accepted into Syracuse with a nice scholarship. Emerson's admissions are a bit tricky to predict. While on a whole, there numbers are a bit less selective, they often will pass up the opportunity to accept someone with higher stats in order to accept someone who shows more 'uniqueness' in either their extracurriculars and particularly their essay.</p>

<p>However, if you're just talking about general liberal arts, I can't compare them with UF because I'm not aware of its reputation. But the OP has indicated journalism and communication are his passion.</p>

<p>All I'm trying to get across to the OP is that, if either school offers him scholarship money and/or an honors program, which I think is highly likely, the issue of $40,000/year will not be an issue.</p>

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<p>"All I'm trying to get across to the OP is that, if either school offers him scholarship money and/or an honors program, which I think is highly likely, the issue of $40,000/year will not be an issue."</p>

<p>Syracuse offered S merit money, but we still couldn't afford it. Going to an in-state public would have been far cheaper. He managed to go out of state to a public which gave him a virtually full ride scholarship.</p>

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<p>For us, the Syracuse scholarship allowed us to send her there, while costing maybe an extra $2000 a year than our state U would have been. Our state U is relatively expensive compared to many others. And our state school offered about $1000/year, but its journalism program doesn't have nearly the prestige and opportunities that Syracuse did. Probably depends on which merit scholarship level you're offered.</p>

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<p>I just want to interject for a moment here and thank everyone for their responses (as I greatly appreciate them) as well as clear something up.
I am not focused on journalism by any means; my main focus/probable major is English with a minor in communications (or something to that extent) but was toying with magazine journalism since it would help me in the area of publications/magazine editing. While I would love to simply go to college for creative writing and frolic around making millions off of novels..it isn't likely at all and thus I have come to this career path.
One of my reasons for choosing emerson and syracuse was their excellence for English as well as journalism/publications if I choose to switch to that side.</p>

<p>Thanks again for the responses, I am truly taking all of them to heart.</p>

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<p>I'm not a huge fan of UF but...</p>

<p>it's not as bad as you are making it out to be.</p>

<p>you can choose to accept your father's money (and his conditions) and make the best of your (paid-for) college years, or not. That choice is ENTIRELY yours. This is a good thing to remember in a process where you do not have as much control as you obviously wish.</p>

<p>you can spend some time (but don't make it an all-or-nothing war) exploring why you think Emerson or Syracuse are worth more than UF. Try to quantify it, so you're ready to roll with the punches when scholarship awards come through (or if they don't). Try explaining it to your Dad, leaving open the possibility that it isn't an all or nothing deal.</p>

<p>Good luck, and calm down. Really, at a big school you can find just about any kind of social group --even if it's not the dominant one. This is a saving grace of large state universities, and the reverse is not true. So if you end up not really being like /enjoying hanging with the kids as Emerson (for example), you will be in a more difficult position than as a member of the anti-athletic pro-liberal arts minority camp at UF (for example).</p>

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<p>To OP: When you say we are middle class and we should be able to afford $45K school- hmmm- do you mean good ol' Mom and Dad should pay $45k? Is that what you mean by "we"?
Anything a parent can contribute to their child's college education is a gift. Are you confused on the difference between obligation and gift? It is their right to choose as much or as little as they wish. Your mother has been saving for a plan in Fla. That is wonderful of her. Is there any other Fla college that the money can be used for in Fl that you like?</p>

<p>If not thats ok. You don't have to go to Fla. Tell your Dad you choose not to go to that college then YOU PICK a college you like. YOU go to an artsy-fartsy one if you want, or a regular one, or one in Paris, or Rome or Munich; or wherever your heart desires, at any price. As a young legally adult now, you don't have to accept their gift. YOU pick where you want to go, you pay the bill, and tell them "no thanks, I'd rather support my own choice of education than go where you want me to go, even though you'd pay the bill".</p>

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<p>
[quote]
YOU go to an artsy-fartsy one if you want, or a regular one, or one in Paris, or Rome or Munich

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Sounds kind of judgmental to me. I don't think you understand the experience Emerson provides for those looking for that kind of training/education. Why differentiate it from a 'regular' one?</p>