<p>For those of you who have a child already in BS how did he/she handle not always being the best and the one to get all the awards?</p>
<p>S has always been in the top of everything - 1st place academic awards, science fairs, citizenship, etc. He is in a competitive IB program that sends several kids to Ivy or top 20 schools each year. Usually only about 30 kids complete the IB program each year.</p>
<p>I'm worried how he will handle not making one of the highest grades on every assignment. My guess is that many kids that go off to boarding school were very accomplished in their previous school. But not everyone can be the best.</p>
<p>I ask this because he made a "B" on a test - a practice test that the teacher drops if it is your lowest grade for the grading period and he is noticeably upset. He has a 103 average for this class without this grade included.</p>
<p>What are the best ways to help him prepare to be just one of many talented fish in a big pond instead of being one of the top three of 400 kids?</p>
<p>Honestly, I feel the situation your son is going through is perfectly normal at boarding school. </p>
<p>Many top students who are used to getting all the awards and recognition go to boarding school, and they are placed with hundreds of other kids just as talented as they are, and it is quite hard to be REALLY talented out of the group of already-talented boarding school kids. …if that made any sense.</p>
<p>I also think that it’s okay that your son has a B on his test, and that no matter how heart-breaking it is, remind him that it probably will not be the worst to come. And I know that sounds harsh, but it’s reality. I personally think that a 103 is great, and that the B shouldn’t bring him down too much.
He shouldn’t be so hard on himself, and make sure you remind him that boarding school is challenging and difficult, and as long as he feels he learned the information well enough, a B is something not worth stressing out over.</p>
<p>Also, you don’t have to be in the top 3 at boarding school to get into a really good college…just a reminder
Sometimes rank doesn’t have to do with it. If you’re number 12 at your boarding school, but you have amazing ECs and community service stuff, you have just as great, if not better, a chance than someone who’s number 1 with mainly just academics.</p>
<p>My d rationalized no longer being the best all in academics has finally having friends who are like her: achievers - lots of them. No longer is she shunned as the smartest kid around. Smart is normal at boarding school and all teens want to be normal</p>
<p>Piece of advice for a happy boarding school experience: no whining or bad attitudes about other kids who do better than you, teachers who are too tough etc. Most everybody who goes to a top BS is used to being the brightest bulb in middle school. </p>
<p>Teach him to respond to the occasional B’s or to other kids who might do better with a smile, a laugh, a congratulations, a “I’ll get it next time!” attitude. Obvious self-pity or sour grapes etc are a total turn-off in a BS environment. Nothing - and I mean nothing - carries a BS kid as well as a great attitude, especially in the face of failure, disappointments etc. It’s such an important trait for happiness and success.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of your responses. He is in public middle school right now but I want him to be prepared for BS. He is always happy when other kids do well but is pretty hard on himself if he doesn’t do well on something.</p>
<p>Keylyme,
When I spoke to some of the more selective american universities, they said that it is rare they take B students, and they knew we were sending our son to prep. If it is so hard to get an A in prep, would that not affect his chance of entry to college?</p>
<p>Teach him it is fun to swim in the big pond even if he is not the biggest fish. Everywhere he goes in life, someone will be “better”, have a bigger car, a prettier wife, a better resume - the real winners in life are those can enjoy what they are/have. I know that sounds sappy, but at these boarding schools, all the kids are uber achievers - they all apply to the same colleges, it is not unusual to have world class musicians, nationally aclaimed athletes, loads of national merit scholars . . . and those kids can be incredibly fun and interesting. Tell him to do his best and enjoy the excellent education and take advantage of all the opportunities. Best of luck!</p>
<p>Going away to BS snaps the umbilical cord with the uber achiever’s parents. Many parents have been giving their kids ideas and help for their original science projects and essays. You know who you are!!</p>
<p>The college will get a school profile. The profiles of the top bs are highly respected and they understand the value of a B. I am not saying you can get into an Ivy with a B/B+ average, but you can get into some very selective LAC’s. I know because my son did with a 3.2-ish bs average. Ivy could go B+ with a strong hook, good test scores, etc. </p>
<p>In any case, not everyone (or everyone’s child) can be tops…then it would be Lake Woebegone or something.</p>
<p>Steppford kids!
Your child can always transfer to an Ivy after a year at a very selective LAC. From a SPS or Deerfield the kid will blow out Freshman year with A’s anyway. The Ivy’s make some huge errors with Public School kids that come in with A’s and high test scores but have no social skills for living away from home. They wash out. Drugs, booze, sex, mental disorders. There is plenty of room in the sophomore class at Ivys for the motivated.</p>
<p>Good point Sarum! I had a friend who did just that- Syracuse to Harvard after a year or two.</p>
<p>Good point too about not having mom/dad around to help with projects anymore or with organization! That should be a plus for DS since he never wanted our help with anything since Kindergarten! I do remember a couple projects in elementary school that were clearly parent done- with mucho materials purchased from AC Moore and there was my kid with a shoe box project and wire coat hanger mobile! HAHA</p>
