<p>I'm a very fatalistic person, even though I wasn't taught to be. I tend to believe that the trajectory of my life has already been set, that one bad thing preludes another, indicating a decidedly negative slope. This leads to slippery-slope illogical reasoning and periods of mild depression. Like right now.</p>
<p>Lately I've endured a string of mild disappointments, always tempered by some kind of consolation prize or pat on the head or commiserating "Oh, well." I've been passed over for yearbook editor, but I'm getting a lower editorial position. I didn't advance to state in the Reflections competition, but I won a smattering of local awards. I'll miss making an A in calculus by a handful of points.</p>
<p>I've got a competition tomorrow.</p>
<p>I know that I shouldn't be stressing the small stuff (and this is all small stuff.) But I'm starting to wonder if the rest of my high school life will be like this: not successful-- but almost. I won't advance to State in my lit crit competitions. Maybe fourth place a region if tomorrow isn't catastrophic, just one medal away. I won't get a National Gold Key in the Scholastic Art and Writing contest after getting forwarded to nationals. I won't get into TASP after my interview. I'll watch the valedictorianship slip through my fingers by a margin of a fraction of a GPA point. I won't get into Brown. Maybe they'll lose my rejection letter and I'll stand at the mailbox with hope swelling my throat until...</p>
<p>I'm not really frustrated-- just resigned and a little sad. If my anticipated vision of half-success comes true, I think I'd rather be an outright failure.</p>
<p>take it easy, relax… relax…
think that there is always people in worse situation:
I missed silver medal by 2 points of cut-off…
I am rejected from my reach school and have forgotten applying safety…
because of loss of 0.1/20 points which is equivalent to 0.02 in 4 point scale, my rank droped to 30% from 5%…</p>
<p>Haha, I’m better now… You know when you just overreact to something in the “heat of the moment”? It just ****es me off because I’m always so close, so there’s always reason to hope until the end. And then I get the results or whatever, and I’m like, “One more point!” o.0</p>
<p>But yah, I think I kind of overdramatized my reaction to my situation because… I read chick lit? I assure you I’m not on the verge of suicide. However, I may go on an ice cream run. :D</p>
<p>Woah, qihqi, your school’s rank system must be seriously screwed up for 0.02 to make that much of a difference.</p>
<p>Haha…I’m second at my school with like a 4.849. My friend who is third has like a 4.845. We have no idea who’s first. This is suuuper arrogant, but I think it’s a mistake.</p>
<p>Lately I’ve been feeling down because one of my classmates got a 36 on the ACT. Way to make me feel inadequate.</p>
<p>Haha, that sounds like what happened with the val and sal at my school one year… They were really close, so they recalculated it and had to rearrange them at the last minute. That’s crazy, though… Who knows… Maybe they really made a mistake.</p>
<p>We’ve sort of been playing detective trying to figure out who’s Numero Uno. We haven’t had much luck though, becuase all of the usual suspects are out of the picture (they got B’s or had less honors w/e). I can’t fathom what might have happened. It was actually kind of funny, because we found out our ranks together. My friend was like 3rd -WTH?! And I was like muahahaha…until I checked mine and was like 2nd - WTH?! So then we pouted together…</p>
<p>Lol, maybe it’s some random transfer kid who came from a school with crazy grade inflation. That would really suck. There’s this one girl in my class who transferred in sophomore year, and her rank has been, like, halving every term. It’s been 24, 9, 5. If I were to complete that series, I’m afraid it’d be 2, and then… 1. Right at the last second. </p>
<p>Of course, I’ll probably be, like, 20th then because Calc is beasting me.</p>
<p>that would indeed. but i feel like i would have heard of this person…</p>
<p>calc at my school is mostly a matter of doing your homework well every night, going in with questions and paying attentionetc. if you do that you’re fine but if you zone out (which is far too easy) or skip an assignment or two (the teacher only collects 10 per quarter) you can kiss your grade goodby.</p>
<p>At my school, they post the pictures of the top five in the main hall, so we all find out eventually. Of course, they do this roughly 5+ months after ranks come out, by which time they may or may not have changed. Depending on whether there was another glitch in the software.</p>
<p>Ah… Homework is only ten percent in my calc class, so I feel kinda unmotivated to do it sometimes. Or to do it properly. I do zone out sometimes, though, and then I look at my notes, and they make no sense. I just suck at tests and quizzes because I aways manage to make some lame calculational error, whether or not I have a calculator.</p>
<p>Calc is kicking my butt, too. I feel your pain. And I always thought I was a math person haha. </p>
<p>galestorm I know how you feel!!! We do like detective work trying to figure out where everyone fits in the top 10 and the number 1 person is always missing…</p>
<p>Ouch, that hurts! If you do all your homework in my class you get 100/100 - equivalent to one perfect test score for the quarter. It’s actually really nice because it at the very least rewards hard work.</p>
<p>I feel so powerless to combat this nameless presence…they really are keeping the ball in their court by not telling anyone. It is as if they are everywhere and nowhere all at once. Man, I wish I was mysterious…</p>
<p>Quite possibly. Ninjas have been known to lurk around the halls of my school…I need to come up with an awesome, preferably over-elaborate, way of forcing this person from hiding…</p>
<p>did you ever think there is no one in the number one spot, to avoid an excess of competition or something?</p>
<p>They did this with the junior class at my school. About 7 people are tied for 1st place, and they all had a hissy fit when they found out they were all bumped down to 2, with no one at number one.
It was quite amusing to me.</p>