Let’s move on from analyzing what constitutes and “elite” college. There are plenty of past threads that discuss that (which invariably got shut down for debate) and that subtopic is not what the OP asked.
My study was about 9 years ago. But I do get updates from various schools. Also, one was an all girls school in NYC. Roxbury Latin in Boston area was another. I believe another was NYC–possibly Collegiate or Trinity.
Perhaps I should have used a word other than “elite”–maybe “excellent”.
There are some university connected day schools that do quite well.
I showed my son my college transcript over the summer before he started BS. We had some good laughs and discussion about “the journey” of one’s academic life and career. He’s pretty clear that: (1) he doesn’t have to get all As, and (2) if he gets less than As, it would be pretty hypocritical for me to give him a hard time for it.
@Altras I feel pretty strongly that kids should follow their own path. That’s the reason I strongly discourage my kids from attending the colleges I did. Whenever they bring it up, I say find your own path. Likewise, although I would love to come back in the next life as a BS student, it’s not going to happen. Sadly.
A development head at one tippy top BS school said that when they worked with alumni, there were roughly 25% who said that they looked back on their years there as a relatively awful time. (There were another 25% who felt it had been their best years.) While I doubt that the haters composed the full bottom quartile, I suspect that in some major regard, be it academic, social, athletic, they had felt demoralized and at the bottom. At this particular school, not everyone walked away feeling like merely attending had been the prize.
I agree that most schools are looking for kids who can simply value the experience but I do think that at some, not shining brighter than the others --or being noticeably dimmer - can be somewhat destructive for certain kinds of kids. Those who have some way of standing out are more likely to continue to flourish.
At some point, almost everyone ends up realizing that there is a bigger pond than they’d imagined and that they are not “all that”. I hope, though, for most people, they don’t discover that too young – there’s a lot to be said for believing you are capable of anything.
@gardenstategal Your post really resonated. I have three college friends who went to boarding school and swore they would never send their kids. One became a heavy partier while at boarding school and struggled to get sober after college. He blamed the lack of supervision at his acronym boarding school. Apparently, several of the kids had country homes nearby where they would go indulge in alcohol and drugs each weekend. Another was bullied/hazed by older boys and felt there were never any adults around when it happened and that he would suffer even more if he “snitched”. The third was a scholarship student who felt very alienated by the wealth and privilege around her. The school had given her a very generous scholarship, but the community did not feel especially welcoming for someone suffering the culture shock of being surrounded by wealthy kids who didn’t even seem to realize just how wealthy they were. All of these schools were well known, acronym schools. All three of these individuals ended up at an Ivy League university, so I suspect they were NOT at the bottom of their class… but still…
Sometimes the kids having the most fun at BS - and therefore not the top students - are having the most growth filled or fun experiences. For some at the top of the academic heap, it comes easily,but for many , they really grind it out, have much stress, and don’t have the most balanced BS years.
I don’t really think one can make assumptions on academic standing and a rewarding BS experience.
Plus, some kids just aren’t going to have the happiest high school years regardless of where they attend high school, unfortunately.
As someone mentioned earlier, there are kids who also great athletes/musicians/dances and spend great amounts of time away from studies…their sport/artistic talent/craft may be as important to them as grades. There used to be a parent on here who spoke of her DS having lower grades due to the rigor of his courses, while many classmates strategically chose classes to make it easier for themselves. Not approving, just reminding @ older thread on this. For Ivy League recruiting I have heard the Academic Index (AI) sort of balancing out types of recruits - some stronger in academics/GPA/Scores and some stronger in athletics. Is this true?
@CaliMex: While all of the situations that you related are upsetting, they are not widespread and, with the intense scrutiny placed upon the “acronym schools” in today’s society, less likely to occur.
Our son’s boarding school experience at an elite New England “acronym school” was a wonderful experience with a proper amount of supervision.
Sending one’s child to boarding school should not & does not relieve parents of their responsibility as parents. Email, and other forms of communication, enables frequent & convenient interaction between parent and student.
Even so, the world is not a perfect place and ugly experiences remain a part of life whether at a local public school or in a boarding school environment. It is unrealistic to expect universal happiness & joy during a period of intense growth such as one’s high school years.
In terms of the question as asked - no, it’s not true. A recruit who is strong in athletics may well have a 238 AI. But yes, for each recruiting season, there is AI balancing that needs to be done both within an individual team and across all teams.
@Publisher I am not sure the upsetting incidents are less likely to occur. I know of two kids who just graduated from acronym schools who were sexually assaulted at school and felt the school swept it under the rug. Yes I think ugliness still exists and I think schools have not learned their lesson about the appropriate way to deal with said ugliness.
This is a great question.
I went to an acronym boarding school back in the day. I agree with a lot of what has been said, especially @gardenstategal. Most BS do not rank and it is difficult to know exactly where you stand academically compared to your peers, especially for the kids in the middle. But IME, those at the bottom of the class know who they are. They may not be in danger of failing. But at a school where the kids are generally getting As, Bs, and Cs, they may be the kids who are getting low Cs across the board, in every class, every term.
I have a few good friends from BS who were at the bottom of the class. In my anecdotal experience, your success at BS significantly shapes your overall view of your experience at BS after you leave. I have very fond memories of my time at BS, but I was also a kid who did well academically. Even though I shared many of my BS experiences with my friends who struggled academically, they do not remember BS so fondly. These friends have expressed regret at not staying at their LPS where they believe they would have done much better academically and probably gotten into better colleges. I think they appreciate many of the experiences they had at BS, but they do not feel that the positives outweighed the negatives. Not surprisingly, these are the alums who have no plans to send their own kids to their alma mater, or even BS at all.
I think also what contributes to my friends’ overall outlook on their BS is a couple of other factors. One is that they were A students prior to BS, and while they understood they may not be at the top of the class in BS, they did not expect to be at the bottom, so it was a surprise. It was more of a surprise to find out that studying more didn’t seem to help improve their grades. I think that did a number on their self-esteem.
In addition, while these friends did well in other respects at school, whether it be leadership, athletically, artistically, musically, etc., these friends were not standouts in those areas. I think had they been standouts in a non-academic area, their overall outlook on their BS experience would have been better, but their non-academic successes were not enough in their eyes to make up for their academic struggles.
Leaving BS is also an option, and some choose to do so. No one is forced to stay in a situation they regret.
I will also say that in the four years of matriculation lists I was privy to, there wasn’t a clinker in the bunch. Every single student landed in a great place. I assume those lists included the students at the bottom of the class, too. 
While some students may have been tops in their class at their LPS and found out there was actual competition once they got to boarding school, I think the same thing happens to kids when they go to competitive colleges from their LPS. Maybe it’s better to have that experience earlier and deal with the reality.
I think a key thing potentially impacting a student’s experience can also be rooted in their reasoning for choosing to attend a boarding (or day) school. If a student is choosing to go to one of these schools rather than LPS because they believe it will result in them getting into a better college, I think they might be setting themselves up for disappointment. Maybe they end up at a “better” college or maybe they don’t. They’ll never even really know, so it’s all theoretical.
If a boarding school path is being chosen as a means to an ends (ie, college placement), I personally think it is the wrong mindset. I really think it is all all about the experience, challenges, and interesting people you’ll meet. A lot of potential for personal growth that a student might not otherwise have as much of. It is an experience that can shape your life, not a means to get to somewhere else.
Additionally, I don’t think it’s helpful for somebody to place a lot of value on being at the top of their class. For instance, whether somebody would rather be at a school where they are in the top 5% or at a school where they are somewhere in the 35% to 65% percentile. It might make a student feel happy to be in the top 5%, but they are probably not growing as much. People grow through challenges, and when in the top 5% at a place, probably not being challenged as much as they would at a place where they’d be middle of the pack. That said, I don’t advocate going to a school where you can’t keep up and are struggling to get by at the bottom.
What’s the point of taking a less challenging path to end up at a “better college”? Those individuals will just encounter the same insecurities and difficulties there. Same for graduate/professional school, jobs, etc. If it’s unbearable to not be the big fish on campus or at work, then STAY in small ponds.
I didn’t read through the every post here, but am responding to the original question. I have a child who attended one of the very top boarding schools and while I’m not sure exactly where he ranked, I assume he was in the bottom third. He is now a freshman at a top university and loving it. His university has admit rates for OOS in the 12-13% rate. I know that some of his other friends who were in the lower end also ended up at wonderful schools (one of them Tufts!). That being said, even though his grades put my son in the lower end of GPA, his test scores were very good and that probably put him over the top for college admission.
@Momto4kids When you refer to poor grades, do you mean Bs or Cs?
She said nothing about “poor grades.” She said “lower end.” Let’s not conflate the two.
Thanks, everyone. I"m not so worried about what happens after BS/college admissions but just about how the experience as a whole would be for a kid that might have to work a little harder than most academically. I guess I will trust that AOs are looking to admit kids that can handle the academics and will make the best of the experience by bringing their own special talents to the community. I have tried to be very honest about strengths AND weaknesses when talking to AOs, as I believe it’s more important to have a great match than to get into every school applied to.