@buuzn03 do you know that’s how colleges think about it or are you guessing that’s how they think about it? Just wondering because I’ve been having some long conversations with AOs and coaches recently. They seem to be more in the camp of do whatever you are doing really well.
@dogsmama1997 I’m not @buzzn03 , but I will say, for academics, they (and this will include specialized colleges like MIT) are not looking for specialists in HS.Yes, if you’re a STEM kid, go as far in math and science as possible, but not to the exclusion of other core courses. For ECs, find what you like/are good at, and show some dedication to that. Fewer meaningful ECs are better than a boatload of 2 hr/week ECs. That’s what I got from my conversations with AOs,although admittedly several years ago.
@skieurope didn’t mean specialize, meant get As in the courses you ARE taking instead of trying to figure out how to take a bunch of honors or AP classes and do less well. Possibly because of the schools we are looking at (?) they don’t feel kids need to stack their classes, even to end up at an HYPSM.
@dogsmama1997 OK. I think we’re on the same page. I’m a huge proponent of taking the classes that are right for you based on interest/potential major/potential career (mindful of distribution requirements and college’s advise on years per subject) and doing well in them. Don’t choose courses based upon what colleges will prefer. e.g. (assuming both aren’t graduation requirements) “should I take econ or gov?” It does not matter!!!
@dogsmama1997 my info is somewhat outdated but I don’t get the feeling things have changed too much…I just finished reading the book The Gatekeepers, about a college admissions officer and the admissions process. It was very eye-opening, to say the least.
But I guess my point was—are you in the bottom while taking the easiest route out?? Or by trying to push yourself and take challenging courses? Colleges will look at that and give more credit to the kid who didn’t just flow along…
@skieurope yes! Completely agree.
I do sometimes wonder if people state as facts on CC what worked for them and so they assume that’s the way BS prefer you to do things. Take the whole parent or child emailing coaches and AOs. I think the prevailing wisdom on CC is have the child do everything but from my, albeit limited experience, AOs have been very receptive to speaking to me as well. They seem genuinely interested in getting to know us as a family and that means my kid isn’t doing all the communicating. There are several other examples I’ve come across as I have read old threads and it always makes me pause and think “is that person saying do X because an AO told them ‘we all like X’ or because X is what their own family did and it worked. I suspect there is more than one answer/way to be successful. Lol. I suppose that’s why you always say “it depends.”
@buuzn03 got it. That makes sense. I saw you post that the gatekeepers was a good read - have it in my amazon cart!
@dogsmama1997 Your post resonated with me. I panicked last year when we heard others had contacted coaches, sent videos to highlight sports and music, and even created online art and writing portfolios. We did none of that and still had great results on M10 – despite needing substantial FA. As our moderator likes to say, “it all depends” and “the plural of anecdote is not data”…
@CaliMex recently had an AO, very good naturedly, mock the lengths people will go to to find something, anything, anything at all, to video and submit. Really put it in perspective for me!
I read The Gatekeepers last year (it was a worthwhile read) and acquired it through interlibrary loan. The copy came from my LPS where my son is a senior and i was so intrigued that was it was a signed copy. By the end of the first chapter or so I realized the author graduated from my town’s high school. The book was even more interesting thereafter:). Apologies for the digression…
@dogsmama1997 Now I’m feeling awkward about submitting that highlights video of my son with Bon Jovi’s “It’s my life!” playing in the background…
I read The Gatekeepers awhile back. Interesting read. I’m sure a lot is still pertinent today but it was published 16 years ago now and things have ratcheted up quite a bit in college admissions since then.
“I panicked last year when we heard others had contacted coaches, sent videos to highlight sports and music, and even created online art and writing portfolios.”
Definitely not needed to get in but still a good idea IF your child EXCELS in a particular area. Certainly not going to help otherwise.
Actually @ Calimex some schools want to see videos and request videos prior to audition - same for schools that have a track for visual artists needing to complete a portfolio for college admissions down the road (important for transfers to know). Mine actually did submit requested highlight video, auditioned for programs, and was accepted by each school. Don’t disrespect those of us parents who actually had to walk this path with smug comments. Yes @doschicos needed for serious dance programs as the few schools ( one which you know).
@Golfgr8 No disrespect intended. Just pointing out that not all schools require it and not all accepted students went to such lengths.
To me, the main purpose of reaching out to a coach or music teacher is to ensure that their program will meet your kid’s needs. Sure, it could be an admissions hook, but it’s more important, if your kid does xyz, to understand how the xyz program at the school works. By audition? As a class? Time required, etc…
As for the comments above about classes, weighting, etc… Our school didn’t weight. But every student was supported in figuring out how much challenge they could handle and where. That is the beauty of being in a place with teachers and advisors who know you – they can start course selection discussions with “are you sleeping enough?” and then work through a strategy that addresses requirements and fuels passions. The kid who wants to spend time working on a novel will need to figure out how to have the time for that. The kid who wants to live in the robotics lab might not choose the history class with the huge independent research paper in it.
Lastly, to whomever suggested that kids who are unhappy leave – @ChoatieMom ??, well… some do. But others do not or cannot. There may be parental pressure to stay, no other good options for their financial situation, or perhaps they are too young to realize that there is a different experience possible. These are tender years, and the pain of them can often be recalled with ease. (Woe to the development officer who stumbles into that! And adults here who went to BS have experienced this themselves.) I think that is why we as parents, need to do what we can to help our kids make a good choice for them. And I think most AOS are aiming for the same.
And for anyone who wants a fun fiction read, try “Prep”. I am guessing that this successful author might count herself among the unhappy at BS.
Some schools are more intentional about personal growth and processing it, and some kids will benefit enormously from that. Others let this happen more organically. It’s really a matter of choice as to whether that matters to you. I agree with @vwlizard that discovering competition early on can be very helpful and for many of these kids, some support in processing what they perceive as failure (not #1-10) can be helpful, especially if a lot of self-worth was riding on that…
Agree with the above that a great lesson at BS (or any competitive environment) is that there’s always someone (or a lot of someones) better/smarter/faster, etc. than you. Of course someone ends up being THE star of whatever team, but for most kids who are the big cheese in youth sports or whatever activity, it can be humbling, and you can see it as either discouraging or as a motivating challenge. It’s up there with life isn’t fair — a good lesson to learn sooner rather than later.
@CTMom21 And for some kids, seeing someone better in the classroom, field or lab gives them motivation to step it up and do their own personal best. I love that BS kids are highly motivated and that the work seems challenging. For too many years, my kid just sat around twiddling his/her thumbs. This experience has motivated my child to do their best in all areas.
Though I have to say that I did caution before mid-terms about not picking up on other’s anxiety. In middle school, we saw a number of kids with issues around testing and other things. They often would speak about how nervous they felt and that’s fine. Some did have anxiety and that could create some spill over. But if your kid is one to pick up on others emotions or is empathetic or a worrier, one person’s failure “a 97 in math” can spill into undue emotional expenditure for your child. This isn’t a criticism of kids who have anxiety issues. For us, it was about our child experiencing a lot of change and trying to keep focused on their own path rather than picking up on other emotional threads kids were putting out. I think the transition to BS can be tough. Just one more thing to think about.
@Happytimes2001, exactly. I love hearing DS talk about how good some classmate is at writing or how impressed he is with this or that kid. For him it’s motivating since it’s not an atmosphere where kids are stepping on each other to get ahead, yet being a very small school, he’s in close quarters with some very smart and talented kids.