<p>I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but bear with me as I try to explain my inner dilemma right now: </p>
<p>My (asian) parent expects me to get into an ivy league, preferably Harvard. That's all that matters really - if I don't get into an ivy league school, I'll be a failure in life who nobody will want to associate with because I don't have any redeemable qualities besides my intelligence which will not even be considered intelligence if I don't get into an ivy league. This includes ever finding a spouse, ever having kids, ever getting a good job besides at McDonalds, etc. According to my mom. </p>
<p>I'm a junior in high school right now and I'm doing okay grade-wise. By okay, I mean I have a 3.86ish GPA (unweighted) and a 4.3 GPA (weighted), a 2200 on the SAT (which I'm going to retake this Dec), have taken 2 AP classes last year and is taking 4 AP classes this year and will take 6 AP classes next year, and yet i'm still not good enough. I realized that yesterday. There's other people at my school who have a 5.0 GPA weighted and a 4.0 GPA unweighted - they've taken Calc BC as a freshman, AP Chemistry + AP Physics as a sophomore, compete in piano competitions, etc. And I can't help but feel inferior BUT it's not even as if they're smarter than me. They're not. They're not smarter than anybody else, but it's because they were born into the lucky family - they have parents who are biochemists and electrical engineers who take an interest in their child's life and academics, they're rich and can afford tutors, their parents taught them physics in sixth grade, etc. It just doesn't seem fair - it's NOT fair. But that realization has caused me to reevaluate how happy I'm going to be in the rest of my life if I don't get into an ivy league (which i probably won't). </p>
<p>All my life, I've been led to believe that if i don't get into an Ivy league, I'm screwed for life. My question is: is that true? Is Mr. Right not going to marry me because I wasn't smart enough to get into an ivy league school? Am I going to be looked down upon because I didn't go to UPenn or Princeton? Granted, I also know the best quality about me is my supposed intelligence - I'm not really pretty or rich or fashionable. If I don't get into an ivy league school, is that really going to screw up the rest of my life and make me unmarriable? </p>
<p>I know this sounds REALLY ridiculous and dumb and stupid, but I'm unsure right now because of what's been ingrained into my head. I know tons of people who didn't go to ivy leagues or good colleges and have been married and are happy right now, but i have a feeling that I'm not going to be one of those people - they're very pretty and have a bubbly personality which I don't have. If I don't have intelligence, then what do I have?</p>
<p>Um dude, there’s more people that go to non - ivy league schools. So you’re thinking majority of people that attend college/university are dum and no where in life? Dude just try your hardest and don’t stress out too much. You did what you could have done an applied. Now it’s up to the school to decide whether or not you are capable of entering their school.</p>
<p>Also, people are successful even if they don’t go to ivy league schools. Look at the doctors and dentists that didn’t attend an ivy league school, but make into the high 6 figures if not more.</p>
<p>Your parents are wrong. There are many good schools other than the Ivy League (some schools arguably surpass some Ivies).</p>
<p>Also, admission to an Ivy is not necessarily based on intelligence, and consequently getting rejected does not necessarily reflect on your intelligence. Yale gets nearly 30,000 apps and accepts around 2,000. Most of those 30,000 are capable of doing the work, are very intelligent, etc. Your parents have a skewed perspective of competitive college admissions. You cannot guarantee a spot just by being smart.</p>
<p>There are so many people applying to Ivies that they can’t just admit based on grades and scores these days. Interesting extracurricular activities, good teacher recs, and appealing essays are all necessary.</p>
<p>Your parents expecting you to get in makes no difference whatsoever to the adcoms. You could be the most talented academically and you still stand only 6% chance. Tell your parents you would have a better chance of getting in if they attended Harvard as undergrads (30% for legacies).</p>
<p>I’d be sorry for you if your life is only worthy for going on such a mission as getting into an Ivy League school. It’s not the school that defines you - showing people your qualities to influence your community is all it matters. Go ask the ones in Harvard, Yale, etc. and they’ll show you insight way beyond academics.
And do not let the brand image fool you - broaden your sights and check out the other top-tier schools around. I mean, I’m applying to Cornell as well, but it’s not like I’ll call it the end of the world if I receive a “no” from the admissions. I’ll be happy to get into U of Mich/ Wisconsin/ etc. given they provide similar top programs as well.
As long as you’re determined to succeed in your field, you’ll be standing out wherever you go. Make up your mind and think about what you want for yourself!</p>
<p>It is NOT true that you have to go to the Ivy League.</p>
<p>There was a study recently where most corporate CEOs graduated from their state university.</p>
<p>Ronald Reagan went to Eureka College, and did quite well in life.</p>
<p>Richard Nixon went to Whittier Colllege.</p>
<p>Even if you don’t get into the Ivy League, you can try again for graduate school, but putting that aside, with your stats, you can still get into the Vanderbilts, Georgetowns, and Carnegie Mellons of the world. </p>
<p>My brother’s kid went to Washington University, and now makes over $250,000 a year, and he has only been out of school 5 or 6 years.</p>
<p>You absolutely don’t have to go to an Ivy League school. FloridaDad’s comment seems very likely. Here in Texas, the A&M and UT and SMU grads all get those high paying jobs. Furthermore, Ivy League schools are not necessarily the best schools. A lot of it depends on what major you want to get into, but not all of it. Some of those Ivy League schools have TA’s teaching classes, and the prof.s are just there for research and prestige. Of course, you want to go to a good school if you can, but it does not have to be an Ivy. You can go to a Rice or a GA Tech or a Carnegie Mellon and get a higher quality education for less money. Smart people are EVERYWHERE. Scholarships and such often draw geniuses into going to non-Ivies. Ever heard of Steve Jobs? He went to Reed College.</p>
<p>There are so many amazing non-ivy schools. Think about NYU, Cal, GWU, Duke, Stanford, I could easily go on. I’m applying to my state school, and that’s where I’d go if I got accepted. It’s highly competitive but obviously public and I’m absolutely in love with the atmosphere. I don’t doubt that I have the intelligence for ivy, but it just doesn’t interest me and never really has. I know that the environment at my state school will end up being what’s best for me, and you need to do what you know is best for you. If that’s ivy? Then it’s ivy. But your life isn’t going to come crashing down on you if you don’t get in. I don’t think I’m going to end up starving on the side of a highway in a box for not going to Harvard, and I don’t think you will either.</p>
<p>I couldn’t possibly empathize, as my parents are both white and uneducated and never even thought twice about taking an interest in my education. I think you’re lucky, but you can only do what’ best for you.</p>
<p>Just a thought…there’s always grad school, too. Some people think it is wise to go to a state school for undergrad and try for a bigger name school for grad or professional school.</p>
<p>It is possible that your parents just want you to aim high. I have seen that as a tactic parents employ for “not as motivated” kids. I have seen plenty of ivy graduates end up being professors and tend to do research. Again nothing wrong with that, it is just what they like, their love of discovery. On the other hand, a lot of the state flagship kids have gone on to become CEOs or Directors,yes, making high 6 figure salaries. It is what you take from your school. Someone in another thread was just mentioning how the city government (in CA) is full of people earning big salaries and yes, they graduated from SDSU, Cal state, etc…etc. So it is not where you go, but what you do and how you do. Life after college is a different ball game. College will just take you to the door, it is what you do beyond it that counts.</p>
<p>The only thing that will be a “failure” if you don’t get into an Ivy League (or other highly selective school) is your parents will be failures at impressing their equally clueless friends with where you got into school.</p>
<p>Millions of very successful people have built very successful lives after graduating from state flagships and less selective LACs - and even low-selectivity schools like state “directionals” and their equivalents in other states - and even <shudder> starting at community colleges and transferring to all manner of four-year colleges two years later.</shudder></p>
<p>you know, isn’t there something more important to a happy life than the number of figures you earn? judging your life achievement by salary is as petty and pointless as judging by what schools you attend for undergrad- equally silly.</p>
<p>Time - and grandkids - heals all wounds. Just do the best you can. You will get into a wonderful school, make great friends, get a good job, fall in love, marry . . . and when the grandkids come, your crazy parents will forget all about Harvard - until your kids are juniors in H.S.!!</p>
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