<p>*And I can’t help but feel inferior BUT it’s not even as if they’re smarter than me. They’re not. They’re not smarter than anybody else, but it’s because they were born into the lucky family - they have parents who are biochemists and electrical engineers who take an interest in their child’s life and academics, they’re rich and can afford tutors, their parents taught them physics in sixth grade, etc. It just doesn’t seem fair - it’s NOT fair. *</p>
<p>yawn. I’m about to say the exact same about you. you have parents who, though having unrealistic expectation/values, care about your intellectual growth enough that they encourage you to study. that they want you to attend a good school shows that they have a high opinion of your ability. they perhaps even have offered to pay for colelge if you get in. that in itself is something you should acknowledge and be grateful for, because not every single family wants to spend the money so that their child can go to a private college.
you have a home with both parents and a house to live in. you are healthy, you have friends (I hope?) and a whole life in front of you. no one has everything in the world- sometimes it’s good to step back and regain perspective.</p>
<p>Success is defined by - not where you went to school, but by where you work. You can graduate from Harvard and yet easily end up in 2nd - 3rd tier job with limited growth potential.</p>
<p>I know many kids from State Universities (like Indiana University, UCLA, U of North Carolina, etc) who got top jobs at top investment banks, who are making 150k-200k in mid twenties. And, my cousin went to Arizona State, but got into a good medical school and makes close to 300k as a doctor now… Meanwhile, a rather large chunk of people I know from my college (an Ivy) is either unemployed or working dead-end, low-paying jobs. (One guy from my college now works at Starbucks)</p>
<p>My advice is not to stress over this crap because it really doesn’t matter, and just do the best you can. And, tell your parents to get real, as an Ivy diploma in itself won’t guarantee anyone a good job upon graduation, much less a successful career…</p>
<p>If you think this is bad now, just wait until you’re looking for a job.
Once you end up at Accenture, Morgan Joseph or some other generic un-prestigious company, they’re going to disown you and pressure you into changing your last name.
You’ll be an embarrassment to them at parties or in their weekly mah-jong games.
They’ll tell people you work in “consulting” or “finance” but then get extremely quiet as soon as people ask what company. </p>
<p>On a more serious note though, you’ll be fine.
As long as you can relax in interviews and appear relatively normal, despite the ridiculous amount of pressure your parents are putting on you, there’s no reason why you can’t get into an ivy league school.
If it doesn’t doesn’t happen, there are plenty of comparable schools that still have great job placement (duke, Georgetown, stern, …) If you keep working hard, you’ll be successful.</p>
<p>OP- Please go see a counselor at your school or a counseling center. As all the posters have said, not going to an Ivy League school is no big deal at all. However, thinking that your only good quality is intelligence is a real problem. You need to talk to someone who can help you see all your strengths. I promise you- intelligence isn’t your only one.</p>
<p>It is less about where you go, and more about what you DO at the school you’re at. You can go to Harvard and not be all that engaged in activities, research, etc. You can go to a state school and be involved in research, end up with your name on a few publications, study abroad, present at conferences, etc. The student who achieved more at a state school is more likely to succeed than the slacker at Harvard. </p>
<p>You will have no problem finding Mr. Right regardless of where you go, as long as you keep your confidence and aren’t afraid to look for him.</p>
<p>Your parents will get over it when you graduate college and end up with a good job. No one really cares where you went to school 10 years later after you’re making money, own a home, a car, etc. And those who do are focusing on all the wrong things in life. </p>
<p>Do YOU even want to attend an ivy league school? What do you want to study? What kind of school do you want to attend? What will make YOU happy? Your parents aren’t living your life, you are. Life’s too short to live out their dreams if your interests don’t match theirs.</p>
<p>But unfortunately, if not for this OP then for many others in similar situations, the parents hold the purse strings and are willing to use that power to compel the young adult offspring to do their bidding.</p>
<p>Personally, I think that is reprehensible, but that is the reality for all too many.</p>
<p>Well, for a start there are schools outside of the Ivy League that are just as good: MIT, Stanford, Caltech, UChicago, Duke, etc. And secondly, it’s not so much about what school you attend as much as it is about what you do at that school–a Harvard grad might graduate jobless, while a state school grad ends up with a great job. I personally know a guy who chose to start a business instead of going to college; he now makes six figures. Don’t worry about it.</p>
<p>You’re obviously a smart girl, but you’re wrong about one thing: there are LOTS of people who are happily married and lead interesting, satisfying lives without being pretty or bubbly or super-intelligent… or being an ivy league graduate. To be sure, Harvard would be nice, but it’s not the only avenue to success and happiness. Nothing can stop you from being happy and going after your dream except your own attitude and outlook on life! Yes, there are sometimes disappointments in life, but you deal with them and move forward and don’t let others (ie; parents) bring you down.</p>
<p>So maybe you don’t get into an ivy, and your parents are disappointed/ashamed/mortified. Their reaction might make you unhappy for a while… but chances are, they will get over it eventually. But let’s say they don’t… let’s say they keep bringing it up every Thanksgiving until you’re in your 50s. THAT might make you unhappy… but what parents don’t irritate their kids in some way? You just roll your eyes and then go hug your kids and husband. Because the truth is, you are going to have a great life where ever you wind up going to college, you’re going to meet Mr. Right, and you’re not going to let anything or anyone put a damper on your happiness!</p>
<p>dude you take this to an extreme level… just look at an average person (youre probably thinking average isnt good enough) and is he/she depressed? alone? crying? dead? no. theyre completely fine and happy with their lives. if you and your parents are actually serious about how youre going to a failure if you dont go to an ivy league, then you must a perfectionist x 100000.</p>
<p>you cant think youre an inferior compared to the other kids taking calc BC freshman year and piano prodigies. i wouldnt even want to be friends with them cause they seem like people who wake up, go to school, talk to someone maybe once every week, and go home. once you go to college, your life and personality will change</p>
<p>im mad because you think that youre not good enough or inferior… just watch bruce almighty and think your life over again</p>
<p>Ye gads. Typical Asian syndrome. Ivy League attendance=intelligence and happiness. Part of the problem is that so many Asians (especially the ones from abroad) have only heard of the “brand” schools presented. All the kids have to be doctors and go to the Ivies. Also, the typical Asian parent does the guilt thing to motivate the kid. The bar of perfection and expectations is raised so high that the kid has no idea who s/he really is as a person. The training begins as early as elementary school. The rigor and strictness of some Asian families is unbelievable. However, they do know how to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. It’s just that their definition of success is rather narrow, but equations of success with $ is pretty frequent no matter what your ethnic background. </p>
<p>I have no doubt your parent cares deeply for you, but it’s time for you to put some of your own definitions into play. I think you are intelligent enough to look around you and live in the present and not go by the mantras your parent has led you to believe about your self image.</p>
<p>I know. I am Asian and my parents’ generation was old school. I have tried very hard to raise my daughter with the freedom of choice, yet to strive to the best of her ability. Laying your entire lifetime outcome upon a college acceptance is too onerous a burden to carry into young adulthood. There’s enough stressors to deal with besides branding. Predictors of success are working hard to the best of your potential and not basing it on only one thing as a guarantee.</p>