How many low income students apply ED anywhere? ED seems to be only suitable for the wealthy anyway.
As far as punishing the counselor by punishing the school, realistically, there are many overworked counselors who have to handle hundreds of students and may not be closely tracking every ED admission announcement or student who applied ED. If they wanted to punish counselors, they should only go as far as auto-deferring ED applicants with recommendations from those counselors (whether at that high school or otherwise), while telling the counselors exactly why and prominently displaying notices on their web site that ED applicants with recommendations from those counselors will be moved to RD.
If they really want to go down the path of auto-rejecting all future applicants (including RD), then they should have the decency to immediately return the application fees and prominently display the auto-reject list on their web site.
@happymom1 (re post #16): That is true, but there is no question that the OP’s decision is NOT for any of those legitimate “ED-inability” reasons. In fact, the OP specifically said (in his initial post) his family could still afford the US university (albeit with some strain): “and my parents would be able to pay”. Were it one of the legitimate reasons, I would not feel as I do; however, it is not. Therefore, my valid belief is that this is an intentional unethical act by the OP, not the “excusable ED withdrawal” you suggest. (Who knows, reading the thread thoroughly might be beneficial.)
“albeit with some strain”
To me this is the key. If the parents wake up tomorrow and say “Hey, too much strain for us.” then the game is over. They are the ones who get to decide how much strain is too much - not the university in question.
I do agree that applying ED was not a smart move for the OP. As self-declared full-pay applicant, the odds would have been pretty good anyway.
“I know it’s morally wrong. It was a mistake to apply ED, but now, I have to look out for myself. And being selfish is necessary”
Given that the OP has admitted to being unconcerned by unethical and selfish behavior, the American university is probably better off without this admit.
No, @happymomof1, parents properly make their financial assessment BEFORE the ED application is submitted; thereafter, they are bound by the ED commitment, absent some unanticipated and substantial changes (financial or other). In the OP’s situation, there is absolutely NO indication of such major and unexpected events. This individual and his family reneged on an ethical commitment for convenience, not due to necessity.
^^^
Moreover @happymom1, a university could not operate an ED admissions system if the student/parents could capricious renege, after acceptance decisions had been rendered. We all agree that some latitude is necessary, however, fundamentally submission of an ED application MUST be a binding commitment (absent significant and unanticipated changes) for the system to work. Allowing an accepted ED candidate to obviate his commitment because it suddenly becomes less optimal or inconvenient is blatantly unfair to both the institution and to other applicants.