<p>Its my first week at college and I'm having a lot of trouble adjusting. I'm at a U.S. News top 20 university, and am still excited for my time here. However, I'm having so much trouble making friends. The school does a good job occupying us for the first week and I always make myself available to meet new people. But the conversation never goes very far and we end up just splitting off. It seems that already everybody has found their groups to hang out with and go downtown with and I end up on my own. I've been going to places with my roommate but he's is kinda awkward and we really don't talk at all. I'm also homesick and feel like I'm the only one who isn't extremely happy and excited. I'm actually waiting for classes to start later this week so that I'll be occupied and doing something that I find interesting. A lot of people on my floor go "out" often and I always say hi to them and carry a small conversation but then they abruptly leave. I really just want to go home and back to high school. Whats worst is that my parents are paying a lot to go here and I have so much pressure to do well. It's 12 hours away from home and I feel very</p>
<p>I know its the first week and I have to give it time, but I feel like everybody else has already settled into their groups and I'm alone. I'm going to the organization fair to try and get involved but I have a feeling the trend will continue. Please give some advice guys, and before you say anything, I am "out of my shell" and I am leaving my dorm door open. How long did some of you have to wait before you felt at home and comfortable?
Thanks</p>
<p>Hang in there. It will get better. Sometimes it just takes time. Your idea of joining clubs with people of like interests is a good one. Once you have classes, talking about the homework, the prof, the ideas in the class gives you something to bond over. Keep keeping that dorm room door open. Hang out in the lounge doing homework. Look for other folks who might look a bit lost and reach out to them. Look out for people that seem like they might have something in common with you and reach out to them. Approach a table in the dining hall and say can I join you or is this seat taken. Introduce yourself. Go to dorm and hall meetings. Get involved with activities that have you doing something, so the activity can cover up awkward blanks in the conversation and again give you something to bond over. You are doing the right things. Now give it time and trust that the wonderful person that you are will meet other equally wonderful people. Many people feel as you do at first, even those in a group, but they don’t let it show. You aren’t alone and I promise, it will get better. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Its normal. Don’t worry. I was in your shoes last year. Have you noticed anyone who seems just as lost as you? If so, you could try to hang with them. Keep in mind that mostly everyone feels lost and out of place. They’re just clinging onto the first person they see to avoid the lonely and scared feeling. You should join a few clubs. It will help you meet new people. DO NOT lock yourself in your dorm like a hermit. You’ll never make friends that way.</p>
<p>Ahh I felt the same way in my first few weeks of freshman year. And yes, ttm is right, once classes start, you’ll automatically start to meet people. Orientation week can be a little overwhelming especially if it’s your first time living away from home (like it was for me) but trust me it gets a lot better. </p>
<p>Don’t worry if you don’t immediately meet people and find a friend group. There are a lot of people (like myself) who take time to develop friendships, and the classroom is a nice place to start!</p>
<p>Feeling that way is super common at the beginning of the year, but you’ll definitely meet people with you connect with more once you start classes, clubs, etc. I think the best thing to do is to try to say yes as much as possible for the first few weeks. If people ask you to hang out, or do something, even if it’s not really your cup of tea or you’re not really in the mood to deal with people, do it anyway. You’ll meet more people, try more things, and hopefully find a few people that you connect with</p>
<p>My daughter had an awful first quarter, and she had the exact same feelings you are describing. The best thing she did was go to the volunteer fair. The various groups on campus had a fair, where they needed to sign up volunteers to help run some of the programs at the various facilities: i.e. the med center and clinic, the gym, the labs, the church groups, A.S., parent groups, etc. </p>
<p>She ended up volunteering at the clinic and leading housing tours and loved it. It kept her busy and she met like-minded individuals. She also joined a Korean church group (we’re Mexican) that is actively “sporty” because that group made a vow to not drink, smoke, or party too hard, but they travel often and are extensively active: kayak, boat, ski, swim, raft, etc. They separated the groups by class level, so she met a lot of new freshman (lots of non-Koreans) and was overly “religious” but neither were a lot of the freshman.</p>
<p>She felt out of place in her dorm with all the party-ers, but her church group is always going or doing something on a daily basis. (Nightly “In and Out” burger runs; we’re in California) She will be a junior this year and is still going strong, and often, we can’t get a hold of her because she’s going somewhere with her group-Tahoe, Yosemite, white water rafting, Universal studios, so we text her.</p>
<p>The point is that you need to feel better about your situation and the best way to do that is to find your niche. What’s your major or hobby? Go to the AS office and find out if that major or hobby has a group. If not, find the volunteer office at the AS and ask them who needs volunteers. You’ll feel better being busy and you’ll meet really cool people. </p>
<p>Wow so early, college started already? There are posts just like yours every year. Sometimes they come back to say everything is good later. You are just being too self conscious and you are wrong that everyone is settled in to their groups because classes haven’t even started and you will meet people that way. Also groups in college are extremely fluid things. Maybe some people are better acting ‘as if’. And those people will all be switching up friends as they find new people and form real friendships, right now it is just acquaintance-ships. You will have to try to go ‘out’ and mingle. Keep it up and it will get normal there and you will find your people.</p>
<p>I’ve never heard of a 12 hour plane ride, are you from Australia or are you estimating door to door" Too bad it isn’t just an hour away so you can go home and hole up there-NOT. Use skype, phone and such. Just don’t get in a pattern of repeating what you are saying here over and over. Instead tell them what is interesting or what you are finding out about the place. Did you check the jobs listings yet? Maybe you might like to find something that is low commitment that sounds interesting. My daughter had really great jobs working with professors at a top 20.</p>
<p>For the people that go out, one time say “I heard you guys went to xyz yesterday. I am interested in that sort of thing so let me know next time.”<br>
And maybe they do , and maybe they don’t but at least you are letting them know you are interested.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice guys, I really wasn’t expecting this many responses. 1 week in and it has gotten a bit better, found people to do things with and they seem like cool people but there is always a pervasive feeling of homesickness. Lukewarm experience so far. Hopefully it will get better from here.</p>