OP, I applaud your determination to overcome very difficult circumstances. There’s a lot of good advice here; I’ll just add two things.
One, I think I understand what you mean by getting “stuck” in comm college. My wife came from a working-class family that discouraged any higher education other than the local CC, and she saw how everyone on that path ended up staying local and foregoing whatever dreams they had in favor of falling into the same life their parents and grandparents lived. She wanted a different life and convinced her parents to grudgingly co-sign for loans to attend a 4-yr college. It was certainly expensive to repay the loans (would be much more so these days) and admittedly she benefitted from a couple of lucky breaks along the way that really helped, but she would tell you that it was worth it in the end.
Two, I would rethink the 3+3 idea with a regional law school. In fact, I would generally avoid regional law schools at all unless you have a guaranteed job waiting with a friend or relative’s firm and just need any kind of diploma to get started. Job prospects tend to be bleak coming from those schools, and you might need to be one of the very top students - maybe even the valedictorian - to have a chance at a job that would allow you to pay back substantial debt. That’s a ton of pressure to carry during law school. If practicing law is the dream, I would take the undergrad route that will give you the best chance for a high GPA, study like crazy for the LSAT, and get into the best law school you possibly can.
I wanted to see what the average LSAT score was for the second college. I talked to the dean of the law school or something, and he said most kids never pursue the 3+3 program with the first school because they get better offers from top schools for more money. I am taking his word with a grain of salt, though
He’s probably right. As long as the 3+3 program doesn’t force you attend whatever law school that is, it would make sense to try for a better law school after undergrad, especially if the financial aid/scholarship situation elsewhere is more generous.
I would definitely reach first to your school counselor, and then to your district social worker. Another avenue you might consider is reaching out to your local CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocates, with the link to the ones in Pennsylvania). As you are not 18, I don’t think you would qualify for their services (but they might make an exception), but they are probably well aware of local partners and resources that would be helpful to you as they also help foster children who are aging out of that system. I don’t think the process of having your abuse documented should be costly…it should be free. I think there are probably resources out there that are designed to help people in similar situations as you, and I hope you can get connected in.
Best of luck to you in this situation, as none of it is easy.
Yes, I meant that you are 18. If you don’t trust your school counselor, then I still suggest you reach out to your school district’s social worker. And again, you may want to reach out to CASA to see what resources they may be able to direct you to.
In this article they suggest you don’t borrow (for your entire education) more than you can expect to earn in you first year of work. It also highlight how some of the terms are onerous and really handcuff borrower and their co-signer.
Narcissist is a very overgeneralized label, and it’s going to be hard to justify a dependency override for that without some kind of mental health evaluation, which I highly doubt your parents, (or any parent for that matter) would cooperate with. Even if you managed to get the override (unlikely), you won’t have the credit to get private loans. Unless you have a full scholarship in writing, you would have no other choice except to start at community college and transfer to a university. But don’t expect Mom and Dad will let you stay there while you go to school.
There’s one possible solution. You could enlist in the military. When you get out, you’re officially an independent student with a GI Bill. That solves both problems if you could qualify to get in.
The OP has already said they are not interested in the military. I think the best solution is to investigate the college benefits provided by Target, Walmart, Starbucks, Chipotle, Home Depot, Fedex, UPS, and other employers that provide college benefits. Then work full-time and take college courses part-time. Much better than trying to go to college full-time and amassing a boatload of debt.
I could look into that. I’m currently working at a fine dining restaurant, and make like $500-$800 a week, which isn’t too bad. The only thing about going to college part time is that I’d lose my scholarship.
OP- here’s how an anonymous message board works. You post asking for help, posters then respond and/or ask for more information, clarifying information. As the original poster, you of course retain the right to disregard any advice that’s offered which you feel does not fit your situation, or does not help. But none of us know you. We have no idea if you have a credit card (if so- fantastic- but you can’t put 50K on a credit card over the next few years even if you wanted to, that’s not how credit cards work…). We have no idea if your parents are already under scrutiny from the Department of Children’s Services for their abusive behavior or not, we have no idea about your reality.
All we know is what you’ve posted. And many of us- as sympathetic as we are to your situation- are trying to steer you towards options which might get you out of a tough situation, and guide you away from things that will only make your situation worse.
You are free to ignore our advice. But you don’t need to be snarky about it, we are all just trying to help. And save you from some heartache.
You can get a credit card at 18. And your parents can put you on their account. That wasn’t even the point of my reply. I was just adding that point in there
I’m not being snarky. How would you feel if someone minimized your abuse? Which is what I felt like the one user was doing. The only reason I mentioned a credit card was because it’s a way of building up your credit score. Which the guy said I wouldn’t have a high enough credit score to take out a loan if I got a dependency override. Which may not even necessarily be true because maybe I have a credit card, or maybe I’ve been building up credit in another way. You never know. That was my point.
Anyways, this thread is old. I got the advice I needed. I’m just not gonna tolerate some person minimizing my abuse on this thread. Not cool.
Nobody is minimizing anything. Everyone is trying to help. The poster you claimed was “minimizing” was also trying to help by pointing out that the legal bar for abuse may or may not jive with what YOU have experienced. Dependency overrides are not easy to get (otherwise which parents would pay for college? Nobody.) That’s it. It wasn’t an insult, it was pointing out that if your entire college financing plan is relying on a dependency override, you are likely to be disappointed.
Glad you got the advice you needed. Wishing you the best.
He said narcissist was an over generalized label, but that’s literally what they are. The only reason I used the term was so people understand the kind of abuse. He also mentioned something about mental health. It is hard getting a dependency override (as I have said prior), but I do live in an abusive situation and have a shot. So yes, I’m sorry, but I do think he stepped out of line with his reply. Had nothing to do with him mentioning the dependency override. I don’t do that passive aggressive stuff, and I know it when I see it.