My roommate this year has been great, but he has OCD. At first I wasn’t bothered by it because he just did his own thing, but as the year has gone on, he’s gotten more picky about the cleanliness of the room and the more I’ve noticed is compulsive behaviors. First of all, it’s hard for me to sleep at night because he tosses and turns multiple times on his bed before falling asleep. He has a can of antiperspirant spray and deodorant that he shakes every morning. He isn’t very mindful about giving me personal space. He’ll reach over me while I’m asleep to pull the blinds up, and instead of folding clothes on his bed, he always uses mine. He always makes nachos in the room every night, and it always smells terrible after he makes them in the microwave. When he eats eats, he smacks his lips and doesn’t keep his mouth closed, and he always slurps when he drinks something.
I want to live with a few of my friends in an apartment next year, but I’m worried that my current roommate will not have a roommate for next year. He has struggled with making friends, and while he occasionally talks to people he knows, he spends a lot of time alone. I can tell it bothers him because he’s always venting to me how he doesn’t have any friends and how there are a lot of cliques at our college. As much as his compulsive behaviors annoy me, I don’t want him to live alone. His behaviors do annoy me but they aren’t unbearable. Should I room with my friends or should I room with my current roommate next year?
There is also only one shelf above my bed where he keeps all his snacks, and instead of letting me get something for him, he always climbs onto my bed and it gets really dirty and smelly because of it. He talks to me a lot while I’m in the room and even when I’m busy doing work, he continues to tell me about things I could care less about. The most annoying thing his does is straighten out the rug. He stomps on the uneven spots to flatten it out and it really irritates me especially when I’m still in bed.
It sounds to me like your roommate is taking advantage of your kindness. He is literally using your stuff whenever he feels like it, and completely disregarding your personal space.
I would not feel guilty AT ALL about rooming with your friends- you deserve to feel happy and comfortable in your room. Definitely room with friends.
Will you be rooming in a dorm again or would this be an apartment? If it’s an apartment, you may have more space which could relieve a lot of these issues. If not, that’s a bit tougher.
I think you 100% have a valid right to room with your friends in an apartment, but I think that it would be a really nice thing to keep rooming with your current roommate if possible and reasonable to do. If you do decide to room with others, helping him a bit may also be another way to make sure he has a decent rooming situation next year.
Absolutely do what is best for you. Go live with your friends in the apartment. You are not your roommates caretaker. Just let him know in advance of your decision so he can make other arrangements.
I was in a similar situation. My roommate and I were terrible for each other and I felt bad not rooming with her again because she wouldn’t have anyone to. Then I realized my sanity and my grades were more important. You have to do what is gonna make you sleep, have fun, feel good, etc. Just don’t lie and be honest with him. Let him know so he can find another person to room with.