<p>So I'm almost done with my first year of school and I'm loving it. </p>
<p>My sister, who is a year younger than me, has been accepted here(along with several other schools) and wants to attend here too. </p>
<p>I don't know why, but I have a serious problem with that. I absolutely love visiting home, but when I'm out on my own and independent(I cover all my school expenses, including tuition) I'm even happier.</p>
<p>Now that my sister is coming here it's beyond frustrating. It's not that I don't want her to be happy here as well, but I want some space and I feel that her being here will really affect that. </p>
<p>Am I being unreasonable? When I talked to my parents about this I got a pretty nasty lecture about how I should be excited about it, but in reality I'm actually really upset about this. How would other parents feel about this?</p>
<p>LOL-my son doesn't even want his sister in the same city in which he attends University.<br>
I don't think you can do much about it. If your sister attends your school so be it.
This doesn't mean that you and she will be joined at the hip.
You can make it clear that you have your life at the school and she will have hers.
Let it play out as it will and don't spend a lot of time stressing over it.<br>
I know this is more easily said than done but I can't, as a parent-that means an old person, see any other way out of it.</p>
<p>You don't need to be excited about it, but you're unreasonable to expect your sister to go to her second choice school just because you don't want her at the same school. </p>
<p>If it's a large school, you'll almost never see her. If it's a medium school, you will still only see her every so often. Being on the same campus shouldn't affect your college life at all except perhaps give you the opportunity to grow closer to your sister as a friend. You'll live in different dorms. You'll take different classes. You'll have different friends, though a few may know your sister, as well. You'll go to different parties, but maybe you'll see each other at one sometimes. </p>
<p>Don't worry about it. Both of you can be happy in this situation.</p>
<p>How small is your school that you expect your sister's presence to affect you? If it's a 1000 student school, then I would say yes, chances are that you will run into her everyday. If it is 10,000 or over, well then you may never see her unless you two actually planned it.</p>
<p>I don't think it's a big deal that she will be at the same school as you. While I can understand you not being excited, are you actually concerned that she may 'report' home on you, or 'cramp your style'. Sometimes kids are a whole other person, or take on a different personality when they launch into their college lives, and it could possibly be awkward to have a family member or HS friend there?</p>
<p>I do understand that you consider this as 'your place' and her presence as an intrusion. But in reality, she has as much right to be there as you do. Is it the best school that she got into? Is that why she chose it? Or perhaps did it appear to be such an amazing and happy place, from how you portrayed it, that she also wants the same experience?</p>
<p>Don't worry about it. It will most probably not affect you one bit. I would make sure that she is NOT in the same dorm. And does not join the same 'crew' or 'drama' teams/clubs, if those are important aspects of your life.</p>
<p>I was th eyounger sister that did this, and for me it was personally a mistake. It really depends on what her reasons are for attending, is it safe for her, because you are there? YOur parents will hate me for this, if it is going to cause more grief, but her choice to attend is and her reasons why, should be the ultimate factor in if she does or not. If she is going for the above reasons(In retrospect and many years to contemplate my choice that was why I did it, I felt safe with my older sister there, but it was one decision I regret now, not that my being there impeded her, but it stunted my growth being in her shadow) </p>
<p>Her life and yours will not have to intersect unless you both chose that at school. Be supportive of her and her decisions, sometimes younger siblings really look up to older ones, but help your parents and her understand that it might not be in her best interest if she is going because she feels safe with you there. If her reasons have nothing to do with feeling of safety, then I wouldn't discourage her, she will find her spot as you did.</p>
<p>IF my brother did this i would throw the biggest fit on earth. Lol. </p>
<p>i understand what you mean by not wanting her around but find out why she wants to go there and talk to her not to your parents, your both old enough to converse maturley</p>
<p>My DD is excited and thrilled that her brother will be attending the same college with her next year. (About 3000 undergrads). I don't know that they'll actually see much of each other; even a college that size is a big place, and they will have their own friends - but I honestly don't think they'll cramp each other's style. (And they really like each other, so it will be all good). If I were you, I would not make a fuss about her attending this college. You will be running in different circles.</p>
<p>You feelings are valid -they are what they are. That being said, your sister also has a right to choose her college. </p>
<p>I am sure a lot of siblings would feel the same way that you do. Of course, there is nothing more important on earth than your family, and hopefully in the long run it will be a benefit to you both (and a source of enjoyment) that you share an alma mater and similiar experiences.</p>
<p>I always thought that my oldest two might look at the same schools--they are 13 mos. apart and shared a room from the time the second was born. They also have the same major and a lot of overlap in hobbies and activities. They had no interest in attending together. I knew quite a few siblings in college, but then again I went to a larger state university.</p>
<p>It could be worse Chrisr--I know a young man at a small (2,000) school and his sister will not only be attending next year, but his parents want her to live in the same dorm. At this school, the dorm assignments don't change year to year.</p>
<p>I chose not to attend swarthmore because my brother, who deeply encouraged me to go, is a student there. </p>
<p>But if i hadn't gotten in to a school i liked more anyway, i don't think it would have been the worst thing in the world.</p>
<p>i sense you're afraid that you'll be suffocated and that you won't be able to be yourself, which is exactly what used to happen to me whenever i was around my brother. but as we got to talking about more personal things, such as our parents' divorce, sex, and drunken experiences, i found i could be very comfortable with him in those personal situations and in everyday life. </p>
<p>basically, just do what it takes to be comfortable with her in different environments. you've probably changed her poop filled diapers, for christ's sake...when it comes down to it, you should just go with the flow, it doesn't really matter.</p>
<p>If she has chosen the school for good reasons (i.e. not because you are there) then it would be very unfair of you to try and stop her from attending there. Plus the school would really have to be very small for you to run into each other very much. My 2 barely ever saw each other in a HS of 1600. So just be happy for her. My son will be going to the same school as my daughter next year (he is actually older but dropped out for a while, is going to a CC to finish his basics but will then end up at the same school as her) - neither of them think anything of it - it is just not a big deal.</p>
<p>Try to take the high road here, Chrisr. You're going to be dealing with your sister for the rest of your life--the decisions you make about how to interact with her now will impact your adult relationship. There's probably room enough for both of you on your campus.</p>
<p>My younger sister also attended my college, and at first I wasn't too happy about it. But we seldom saw each other unless we planned it (rare) and it all worked out OK.</p>
<p>It's frankly quite childish to have a problem with your sister attending the same school as you. That said, I do agree with an above poster in that your sister's reasons for wanting to attend the school are important. If you're her safety net, she should be encouraged to want to attend other schools. But if she truly loves the place, she deserves to be a student there as much as any other kid! You're worried about her cramping your style, but you seem to be cramping hers.</p>
<p>My S wanted his sister to go to the same school, and he is very happy she was accepted (They are one year apart). She doesn't mind to be in the same university either, they are very independent from each other and studying different subjects, so for them it's nice to have family around in the case the need it. When they were in HS they used to fight a lot for their "own territory", now they matured.</p>
<p>My daughter will be starting as a college freshman this fall. Her older brother is going to be starting his senior year at a different university. But he intends to go to graduate school, and one of the best departments in his field is at her university.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>My kids will be at the same college next year. That wasn't a significant factor in the younger child's choice (although it was very significant that he knew a lot about the college from his older sister), but they are both happy about it. They are scheming to get a car together. They have scheduled a weekly date to watch "Heroes" together. They don't plan to see each other much beyond that, although I'm sure he will come see the play she is directing. They have very little overlap in interests.</p></li>
<li><p>I went to law school where my sister was an undergraduate. When we were both there (i.e., when she wasn't on a semester abroad), we saw each other three or four times a semester. Never more than twice a month. It was perfectly nice, but we hardly affected each other's life at all. Most of her friends never met me; most of my friends (including undergraduates) didn't know she existed.</p></li>
<li><p>I have known a ton of other people who went to college with older or younger siblings, or even with a twin. Some of them socialized together to some extent, but most didn't. None of them failed to have completely independent lives.</p></li>
<li><p>You will have the relationship with your sister that you want to have. Don't sweat it; stop whining. She probably won't tell on you if you ask her not to. You may find that having a sister around is a great way to expand the number of girls you meet; you may find that having a sister around makes you look at your male friends a little differently.</p></li>
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<p>If there's serious stuff that you are hiding from your family, and that will be obvious to her if she's around at all . . . well, you are going to have to deal with that sooner or later, and sooner will be better for everyone's mental health anyway.</p>
<p>I would love if my brother came to my college. Most of my high school friends liked him being around and he is a lot more mature than his age group. All in all, I would be the type to totally embrace him being there and introduce him to everyone I knew. I'm not sure that he would like being at the same college as me.</p>
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Her life and yours will not have to intersect unless you both chose that at school. Be supportive of her and her decisions, sometimes younger siblings really look up to older ones, but help your parents and her understand that it might not be in her best interest if she is going because she feels safe with you there. If her reasons have nothing to do with feeling of safety, then I wouldn't discourage her, she will find her spot as you did.
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<p>This poster has it right, but now that you've been actively hostile to your sister coming to your school, your parents will probably just think you are making an excuse if you raise it. But you really should look at the reasons why you don't want her there. If they include her overdependence on you, that is a really good reason to talk to her and convince her to go elsewhere.</p>
<p>You didn't mention what school you go to. If it's a big UC school, ha! Forget about it. You'll be able to have separate lives very easily. Stanford the same. A State U like San Francisco or Chico the same. </p>
<p>There may be some time when you are happy that you went to the same school. For example, my sister passed away about a week ago -- after a fight with cancer -- and I'd give anything now to have had that time of greater closeness with her. But I recognize that my view is a very long view. At the time of college, I probably would not have wanted it if it were a small school.</p>