I’m currently enrolled in a university that is six hours away from home. I attended orientation a few weeks back and after thinking long and hard, I’ve come to the conclusion that I do not want to attend this school at all. it is too far for me and once I get through traffic it takes closer to six and a half or seven hours to get home. I feel like I made my college decision on an impulse and now I wish I would have decided on community college for at least a year. I know I should tough it out and go,but I feel as though my happiness is on the line and I suffer with slight depression. the community college would be $15,000 less than the university, which is good. But how do I bring this up to my father?
I think you tell him what you told us. And the goal is of course to graduate. If you are not ready to go away, you aren’t as likely to be successful at the school further away.
It could be, in a couple of years you could transfer to the university further away and at that time you’ll be more ready for it.
I don’t know you, but if there were a time to have second thoughts about your college, it would be better now to have the heart to heart with your parents. However, lots of kids have mixed feelings before going away, and even feel homesick during the transition to college for a bit. It’s perfectly normal, and I would hesitate to tell you that your feelings equate going to the community college.
As the other posters have said, an honest conversation with your father (and any other adult who is important in your life) is the right thing to do. What you need is some perspective from others who have had to make major life transitions before. And a little self-confidence that, after all those years of swimming lessons, you can trust yourself in the water (with the lifeguard and the edge of the pool nearby).
Feeling anxious and even a bit depressed about leaving home (or any other big life change) is perfectly normal. It’s also normal to go to orientation and coming back feeling like ‘this school is all wrong for me.’ (My D had the same reaction - tearful phone call at an ungodly hour to say “I’ve made a terrible mistake.” She was wrong that night, but her post-orientation disorientation was real.) No, you aren’t going to find your new best friend the day you arrive, there will be uncomfortable times (lots of them initially) where you are a fish out of water, and probably a few upsets too as you adjust to college life. And none of that means you made the wrong decision to go to that school, or should go to community college instead. (Although community college is a wonderful option and will still be there waiting for you if you find that college way from home isn’t working out. Keep it as your a safety net.)
Unless there is more here than you’ve chosen to share (which is fine), I’m betting your father will say the same thing. But he knows you and we don’t, so talk to him…now…and again later and again at whatever school you end up at, until you find your way.