<p>May 1st is looming, and I'm starting to stress out - a lot - over the impending decision I have to make. But here it is.</p>
<p>I was lucky enough to be admitted to Yale last month after being deferred EA back in December. Yale has been my dream school for years, and now I have the opportunity to make the dream a reality. The only thing that's holding me back is money. I didn't qualify for any financial aid from Yale, or any of my schools, for that matter. My parents have enough money to cover tuition and all expenses, but are only willing to pay for room, board, and half of tuition. I would be facing payments of 22k-24k every year for four years, which would round out to about $90,000 (not including accrued interest) by the time graduation comes around. (I wouldn't have to take out 90k in loans, mind you. I do have money saved up, as well as some scholarships. I would also be working in various campus and summer jobs. I figure I would graduate with around $40,000 in debt.)</p>
<p>Now, if I go to Notre Dame, which is a Catholic school, my Catholic parents are much more willing to support my education. A Notre Dame education would only cost me about $28,000, versus my $90,000 Yale education. If I went to ND, I could graduate totally debt-free, and I probably wouldn't even have to work on-campus jobs at all for any of my four years.</p>
<p>I guess my question is this: Do you think that what Yale has to offer is worth the steeper price? Yale is a much better fit for me, and it's had my heart for years. I don't want, later in life, to regret my decision to give up on my dream, but I also don't want to regret taking on an unnecessary burden of debt.</p>
<p>By the way, there's no way to finagle my parents into contributing more towards Yale. I've tried. </p>
<p>My son does not qualify for aid either at Yale, but he has had a 12-15 hour per week job there that pays very well for what he’s doing (over $15/hour). It can be very easy to fit working in with academics at Yale provided you don’t play a major sport or plan on majoring in STEM. Also, he has received fellowships and grant money for summer internships through various departments at Yale that do not look at his family’s financial situation. </p>
<p>I’m not saying your contribution will go from $90,000 to nothing, but I am saying it might not be as bad as you predict. All that being said, Notre Dame is a great school and you will end up loving it if you go there. Good luck!</p>
<p>Religion via bribery. Interesting. I don’t know if the parents are “nuts” but they are definitely consistent with a religion which is not egalitarian, not democratic, not inclusive, and has its own set of rules regarding ethics.</p>
<p>In fact, I think Hunt is right about both the Yale vs. ND question and your parents. But the latter has no bearing on determining your best course of action in these circumstances.</p>
<p>I’d say Notre Dame because of how much money you will be saving. If this was a Yale vs some university not even in the top 30, then I would lean towards Yale. But this is Notre Dame. There isn’t much distance between Yale and ND regarding quality education. I don’t think you’ll have any regrets later on in life if you pick ND. Visit their campus once and you’ll know what I’m talking about. However, Yale is your dream school, which is why you’re decision is tough. Good luck!</p>
<p>Agree with Gibby. You are obviously a great student for being accepted to two great schools, and will do well wherever you go. Save the 90k for grad school and have a wonderful time in college without having to think about the finances. It’s a no-brainer.</p>
<p>I don’t believe you can borrow $22K-$24K per year unless your parents want to guarantee the loan which they may be unwilling to do. At that rate, your Yale admission is a non issue since it is not a financial possibility. It is a bad position to be in when your parents have resources for college but choose not to spend them. As a note to future applicants, this is an avoidable predicament. Before applying to colleges, run the net price calculator with your parents. There is no point applying to a need based FA only school if your parents are unwilling to pay the EFC. I’m sure you will do well wherever you go.</p>
<p>A couple of posters have mentioned that the OP will do well wherever he goes. If that is meant in the full context of “well being” I can’t think of two more polar opposite schools in terms of culture and philosophy. One school is know as the “most liberal” of the Ivy’s with kids from all over the world and the other is known for its philosophical rigidity and one of the least diverse and insular student populations. How could he possibly be happy at both?</p>
<p>What are you planning to major in? Have you compared how the schools fare in the major and tried to show it to your parents?</p>
<p>Your parents do need to cosign your loans when they exceed the Stafford amounts. Ask them if they would just consider loaning you the money instead.</p>
<p>What I meant was that he would do well academically and career-wise. And as long as he keeps an open mind, he will do well socially as well at either school.</p>
<p>Lots of people could be happy at both. BTW, IMO, Yale is not the most liberal Ivy. That title --again, just IMO–belongs to Brown, especially in terms of educational philosophy. For example, Yale not only limits students to taking 4 courses pass/fail, they count as “non A grades” when Phi Beta Kappa and other honors are handed out at Yale so you’re penalized for taking courses pass/fail and, moreover, profs can specify that they won’t let any students take their courses pass/fail. Last time I checked, the majority of profs exercised that option, so it’s almost impossible to take 4 classes pass-fail. Not exactly liberal. Of course, you can take every course at Brown S/NC, Brown’s version of P/F if you want to do so. ND’s pass-fail policy does limit you to using them your junior and senior year, only for electives and only one per semester, but it’s easier to actually do it at ND than it is at Yale. </p>
<p>And, ND is not “philosophically rigid”–unless you think any faith-based school is. ND students come from all 50 states and a lot of foreign nations. Yes, it has a higher percentage of white students than Yale does, but ND’s really working on that. I admit that it is also non-diverse in that most students are Catholic. </p>
<p>This isn’t about EFC. This is about parents wanting to make sure their kid doesn’t lose his faith. I don’t think using $ as a weapon to get your kid to go to a Catholic college is the right thing to do, but as a Catholic, I understand where the OP’s parents are “coming from.” They aren’t “nuts.” I wouldn’t do the same thing, but I can sympathize.</p>
<p>The OP will never be sexiled at ND. He’ll never use a co-ed bathroom or live in a co-ed dorm. He won’t contend with sex week. It’s probable that his exposure to drugs will be less. It is a very different scene that way than Yale is. I like Yale…a lot…but I don’t think everyone who prefers ND is “nuts.” I think it’s pure anti-Catholic bigotry to suggest that is.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t suggest anyone taking out 90k in loans to go to ANY school. </p>
<p>If I were you I might take another crack at my parents to see if they might be willing to pay as much for Yale as they will for Notre Dame … in this way … I’d ask them to explain their concerns about Yale (listen and ask questions to understand but do not argue) … and then see if you can offer something to cover those concerns … what if I promise to go to Mass every week? Live in the substance free housing? Etc. There may be a way to make Yale an acceptable option for your parents.</p>
<p>To be clear … Notre Dame is a great school if it is your first choice go for it … if you’d prefer Yale see if there are some actions you can embrace and take to comfort your parents.</p>
<p>I think the nuts reference has more to do with controlling nature of the parents than the schools involved. I would not call them that but I can see they are really forcing the kid to make one choice and not the other. It is the ultimate carrot and stick but on the longer run, it can turn off the kid completely against what they intended.</p>
<p>I agree. That’s why I wouldn’t do it. I don’t think Yale even HAS a substance free dorm. Does it? There is a single sex housing option but as far as I know,only Orthodox Jews and Mormons ever opt for it and doing so definitely makes you “odd” if you aren’t one or the other.</p>
<p>I had a client who was an Orthodox Jew. His daughter could only apply to Stern–the woman’s college at Yeshiva–or Barnard, because it has a single sex dorm. Is he also “nuts?”</p>
<p>Not because chooses Orthodox Judaism for himself but he is “nuts” for imposing his personal beliefs on his adult daughter - especially since Orthodox Judaism has misogynistic aspects.</p>
<p>In CC parlance he might be but not to me. We all have our own beliefs and I might be doing something with my kids that when posted on CC by my kid would be considered nuts. It would be irrelevant to my decision making.</p>
<p>I am thinking about OP’s parents and wonder if they consider the additional money they are willing to pay like a tithe since it goes to support a catholic school. If that is their motive as opposed forcing their son to go there, I see nothing wrong with it.</p>
<p>OP did not say he would graduate from Yale with $90K in loans, he said it would cost him $90K:</p>
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<p>Personally, I do not think $40K in loans is too much for a Yale education, but still, it is $40K in loans that must be repaid.</p>
<p>Regarding not needing to work on campus jobs if you choose ND: My opinion of on campus jobs is that they are a valuable way to get work experience for ones’ resume, not something to avoid. I have encouraged all of my kids to get on campus jobs if they can.</p>
<p>OP says that Yale has been his dream for years–so much so that he applied EA. Certainly the parents must have been aware that he did so. Personally, I think if it were me and I gave up Yale for Notre Dame, I would have regrets. I agree with Bay that $40000 in loans isn’t too bad (which might be less with campus jobs, which I also highly encourage). Yes, it’s true one can go to Yale later for grad school if desired, but…you miss the residential college life. So, really, if it has been his dream for so long, shouldn’t he go for it? He doesn’t say his parents are forcing him to go to Notre Dame, just that he will have to cover some of the expenses himself. Just my opinion.</p>