Now he/she dosen't want to go!?

<p>Anybody else experiencing this? </p>

<p>I expect it's just nerves about rejection, meeting new kids, and everything else. But, I'm worried.</p>

<p>I know this option for schooling would be one of the best experiences this child would ever have. I know that of my kids this child would probably benefit the most from a prep education. And I know that once there he/she would thrive, in the right school.</p>

<p>But how do I convince this child of all that with out "forcing" him/her to go?</p>

<p>Any thought's parents?</p>

<p>I assume you are awaiting acceptances on 3/10? I think it's very normal for the students - and the parents - to feel apprehensive about leaving so many familiar things behind - friends, school, home. For the most part, these kids are doing very well at home - great grades, ECS and/or sports, often a position of leadership. </p>

<p>My child experienced the same thing. Sometimes, I think it is also a defense mechanism in case they get rejected. Once you get your acceptances, however, then you have the fun of attending revisit days where hopefully your child - as mine did - will fall in love with a school. My child fell in love with a school at revisit and didn't want the revisit to end. After that, there was no looking back - the love affair continues into year #2 and my child would be devastated to have to return to the previous academic setting. That is good, too. It keeps them working hard and encourages them to "keep their nose clean" and out of trouble.</p>

<p>im a kid and I really want to go to boarding school. But honestly its because im bored of my life now. My school is too easy, I have been going to school with the same 50 people for the past 8 years, I know boarding school is a much better education (I don't know if your kids know that or not), and honestly, I really want to live alone (not alone but you know what i mean) and make my own decisions. I don't know how you would convince your kids all that but i hope this helps.</p>

<p>I forgot to add that I think the schools do a good job of selling themselves at revisits which works to dissolve the apprehension. </p>

<p>And then the apprehension comes back in late August as you pack up your child... ;)</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>I suspect it's got a lot to do with the possible rejection factor. I'm counting on revisit days to really make the difference. I'm more nervous about 3/10 than my kid! Go figure.</p>

<p>I didn't have that problem with my kid before acceptances. But at Christmas break she was a little homesicky and not sure about going back and really wanted her break to last longer than it did. But I reiterated the options of staying home and reminded her how much she loves the school and she happily traipsed back. I think the ebb and flow of emotions continues on past 3/10 and past the first day of school. We're days away from spring break now and I'm just wondering how she will be then.</p>

<p>I agree with Photo Op that it's not just now that you will hear this ambivalence. I think we had a thread in May or August or something about "cold feet."</p>

<p>Scotland45 -- at this same point last year when we were waiting for decisions, we weren't sure if my S would go to BS (as a 9th grader), and we didn't even talk much about it, in case he didn't get in; my S seemed seemed indifferent or unsure -- perhaps a protective mechanism. But wait until revisits -- once they know that they've been accepted, and they spend the day at the schools, its a different ballgame. After revisits, my S begged us to let him go.....I promise you that things will change in the coming weeks!</p>

<p>I see (a bit too late) that creative1 already wrote something similar to my remark. Sorry for the repetitiveness!</p>

<p>Thank you for all the reply's! Every little bit of info helps. Thanks much I do actually feel better!</p>

<p>Scotland,
I am not sure if you answered this but was it your child's choice to start the process?
If so, its possibly cold feet. If not maybe d/s really doesnt wan to go.
But in any case here is my advise: my son is at a jr BS, 2nd year. He wanted to go and started to get nervous before school started. He committed so we sent him ( had to as he had no where else to go), he had a hard time up until about Xmas and then he hit his groove. He never really stated he wanted to go home, more it was missing us.
This year, he forgets to even call home! I imagine it is normal to have mixed feelings about moving away but try to remind your child why they applied in the first place.
Good luck everyone!</p>

<p>Scotland45</p>

<p>I'm in the same position -- Son doesn't even want to discuss 3/10.</p>

<p>In all fairness, we did start the BS process. We were not sure we could afford his current private day school and wanted him to have options. For us, we are in a win-win because the process led to a "special" financial aid offer at current school we wouldn't have gotten otherwise.</p>

<p>Husband & I think BS would be MUCH better for our very smart, albeit very unmotivated, son. He rises to the bar set & would do well with higher standards. But that is exactly the part that scares him -- that his life would become all academics.</p>

<p>I'm just trying (unsuccessfully) to put it out of my mind until 3/10 decisions & revisits. </p>

<p>Also, my son is very young. He was 12 when he interviewed - he is now 13. Maybe he is just too young. Crazy thing is he loves the idea of Harkness and really liked all the campuses we visited.</p>

<p>Notnim- I sent you a PM.</p>

<p>Wouldn’t you rather spend these last few years of their childhood living with your kids before they have to move off to college and leave forever?</p>