<p>Well, my last two are off to college, here is everything remotely helpful that I learned about the process.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>HAVE THE FINANCIAL DISCUSSION UPFRONT</p>
<p>If you haven't figured out what you're willing to pay for and how much you're will to pay, do it and have the uncomfortable discussion with your kid RIGHT NOW. Everyone says this, but it can't be emphasized enough. I can imagine nothing worse than having your child go through the whole process without any knowledge of financial constraints, get into their dream school then having to say "Sorry, we can't afford it" in April.</p></li>
<li><p>DON'T LET YOUR EGO GET INVOLVED IN THE PROCESS</p>
<p>Part of your job is to help your child make a REALISTIC assessment of their propects. At the other end, if your child doesn't get into his dream school, after you and he have made a decision, be supportive and positive. If you're disappointed (except for his sake) don't let him see it.</p></li>
<li><p>PUT YOURSELF IN POSITION TO BARGAIN FOR MERIT AID</p>
<p>We learned too late that schools will sometimes increase financial aid offers to match the offers from other schools. So apply to some less selective schools with good merit aid policies.</p></li>
<li><p>IF YOU HAVE MULTIPLE CHILDREN, CONSIDER A GAP YEAR FOR THE OLDEST</p>
<p>More children in college equals more financial aid (for most of us). So if your oldest puts off going for a year, it can lower your costs for both him and those who are close behind.</p></li>
<li><p>HOW TO GET INTO HARVARD</p>
<p>Get all A's with at least 10 AP courses, 2400 on the SAT, win a Nobel Prize, and pray a LOT.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>As a college freshman- I agree with #1 a LOT! Having that discussion early in the process (in fact, before it begins is best) will save you MANY headaches later on.</p>
It is my understanding that schools will only match the merit aid of other schools of the same caliber, not “lesser” schools. But, of course, it does not hurt to try…</p>
<p>A gap year for the student’s benefit is one thing. A gap year imposed by the family on a student who is ready for college is another, and the student may deeply resent it. With all his/her peers at college, the young person might be extremely lonely, and with the poor current job market, he or she might find it difficult to find a worthwhile job to fill the year.</p>
<p>Why suggest forcing the older student into a gap year without also considering the possibility of arranging for the younger student to graduate a year early? I’m not saying that the latter is necessarily a good idea, either, just that the burden of doing something drastically different from what one’s peers are doing should not necessarily fall on the older child.</p>
<p>Marian - I would only suggest this if it made an enormous financial difference to the family and the student was okay with it. Having a younger one graduate early could work too. Having twins, I will vouch for the fact that having two in at one time makes a tremendous difference in financial aid. That being said, I probably wouldn’t have suggested an earlier graduation or gap year to either of my own kids; we would have looked at schools with different price tags.</p>
<p>Excellent post. Will be taping to my refrigerator.</p>
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<p>Several people have told me that they were able to do this - bargain for merit aid.</p>
<p>The catch is your student must be of the caliber that they desire and have trouble attracting. In other words, it won’t work at your reach schools but often will at your safeties and sometimes even match schools.</p>
<p>In this economic climate, it makes absolute sense to leave all doors open. I’ve seen more than one person turn down a more selective school for a full-ride at the State U. There’s always graduate school. :)</p>
<h1>4 should NOT be on the list unless child independently has been considering a gap year. You are asking a child to get behind in his earning potential by one year just because of siblings. Etc.</h1>