A little late to talk about being recruited.
re: Cornell, it sort of depends.
Greek life is active there. But the larger proportion of students are not part of that, and the university is large. So that makes for a lot of people who are entertaining themselves socially outside of Greek life.
And yes it is not near a city. (well it’s not near a large city. Ithaca is a city)., But it is a sizable university, not a small liberal arts college, There’s a lot to do right there. The importance depends on what you want a city for. If you want a city so you can go shopping at Neiman Marcus, well you can’t do that there. But you can go out and have fun there. There are about 30,000 college students in and around Ithaca. And IIRC Ithaca has a relatively active LGBT scene.
So you don’t necessarily need to eliminate it because it’s not near a city. It depends on what you want out of a city.
And IMO you don’t need to eliminate it merely because other people there, who are not you, will participate in Greek life. However the first post was “so I would prefer schools where social life is not dominated by Greek life/partying/drugs/alcohol.” That’s not just Greek life. Alcohol consumption is not unknown there among the non-Greeks, and Collegetown parties are pretty common for non-Greek upperclassmen. While of course others will not be into any partying at all.
It is quite diverse, no doubt you would find your group of like-minded fellow-travelers, in sufficient number. But also no doubt you will find others there who do not fully share all your values. If you can’t share classrooms and a large campus with some proportion of people who are not like you in some respects, then maybe you should pass. But if you are a little more tolerant and willing to find your own group you should be fine.
OP - Do not be dissuaded from applying to very high end reach schools (HYP, etc.) if you want to, just be sure you also apply to a solid selection of matches and a 2 or 3 safeties as well.
The fact that you have already been rejected from your first choice (widely guessed to be Stanford) does not necessarily predict that you will be rejected from all other top reach schools. My daughter had stats similar to yours (hard to say exactly comparable since you gave only ranges), and she got REJECTED in SCEA by Yale. Not deferred, rejected. She went ahead and submitted basically the same application to all her other schools and come April she was accepted by Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Pomona, Wellesley, and Berkeley, plus all her matches and safeties. She was wait-listed by Princeton and CalTech but did not pursue those wait lists since she already had some great acceptances.
So the moral of this story is that an EA rejection from a very high end school does not necessarily signal rejection from all other very high end schools. However, this advice applies only if you really do have solid high-end stats and ECs. If your stats are pretty good for most schools but are kind of borderline for the Ivy League then applying to more and more top reach schools will only get you more and more rejections. So assuming you have true top-end stats and your teachers love you and will write great letters, go ahead and apply to those Ivies etc. if you want, but I must hasten to repeat DO NOT NEGLECT YOUR MATCHES AND SAFETIES.
Hi all, thank you thank you thank you for the responses - it farrrrr exceeded my expectations.
I did not post in the past few weeks to focus on applications as well as visiting family over the holiday season. However, I did read all your posts and took your advice into consideration and removed a couple of schools while adding a few more. I’m sorry if I came off as snobbish or passive aggressive. I am the one who decided to turn to this online forum of people that I don’t know for advice, so people are free to respond as they wish and I should’ve been more aware of that. At the time, I wasn’t in as calm a mental state as I usually am with stress piling on combined with the fact that two of my classmates were accepted to top 10 schools. Our guidance counselors have mentioned several times that our grade is the one of the strongest ever academically. It sucks that the culture is still at the point where college feels like a validation of high school achievement as much as I don’t want to be sucked into that. I’m very happy with my high school “career,” but it’s impossible not to compare myself to my peers especially when I have arguably achieved at a similar if not possibly higher academic level than them. It’s hard not to care what other people think as much as I have ignored that throughout my life. I also feel bad for my parents having to field questions from well-meaning but ultimately slightly annoying after awhile parents who are asking about my college search.
My common app essay has completely changed from my early application on a sudden burst of inspirational writing, and I think I’ve added some nice little details here and there that make my application stronger but who knows. Things can always be improved. I ended up applying to a total of 16 schools throughout my process (I would estimate 6 reaches, 4 high matches, 4 matches, 2 safeties to use those terms but I feel like everyone has a different view on what is considered to be in each category). I am an indecisive person by nature and already a lot of my original feelings about what I want in a college when I started the process have changed dramatically. However, I am a big advocate of learning to love what you have, and I truly believe that I will be happy and successful wherever I go as I am a pretty adaptable, relatively chill person. Specifically regarding my local university, I will be happy there as I will have my tuition waived and I will be very comfortable in my surroundings in a way that I can maximize my resources in the town that I live in as I have many connections already. The pros outweigh the cons, and I recognize that a rural, close-knit community has its many advantages. I will be able to find my niche. While I may not be as pushed as I would going to a different town, I will definitely take advantage of every opportunity possible in this town. I’ve found things that I am excited about in each of the colleges that I applied to (I’ve spent far too many hours reading college websites and forum posts on here), and I am truly not stressed about results whether it be 2 acceptances or 8 acceptances. At this point, I’m just trying to enjoy my last few months here in my hometown as I will truly miss it and the people!
Anyway, thanks again for all the advice if anyone has read this far. I will try to update what happens in March.
On a completely random note, I recently received a handwritten note (in slightly-hard-to-read-but-very-nice cursive) from an admissions counselor from Carleton saying that she has read my application and decided to share some of her thoughts about it with me. She said that my essays/supplement helped her get to know me and were honest and it makes sense to her about why I decided to apply, followed by some traits about the student population. It was fairly generic but I think specific enough to be about my application. It ended with “If admitted, I hope you’ll visit!”
Has anyone heard of this? Does it mean anything? I could not find anything like this on here. It was sent in early January, so literally days after my application was submitted. It was a fairly extensive individual note, so it was a pleasant start to application waiting season for me! I expect it to be in part for “yield control” but they also couldn’t possibly do this for every application. However, the language was pretty purposely neutral/slightly positive, so I’m thinking it might be something some readers do for applications they like before the final committee decision (which could obviously be very different).
OP, I like you…you have a nice way about you and I believe you’ll do well no matter where you land.
On the Carleton handwritten note, I think that’s a wonderful sign and really a great move by that college. It would make me – as an applicant – take a stronger look at them
Keep us posted on how it all goes!
My take on the handwritten note is that this counselor thinks you and Carleton would be a great mutual fit, but (rightly or wrongly) suspects it isn’t one of your top choices. It might be good to send a short but sweet reply thanking her for her thoughtful note (to “demonstrate interest”, or just to be nice).
@tk21769 Already did last night! As you said, I thought it would at least be nice considering she put in the effort to send it, and I should probably reciprocate if I am at all interested in Carleton (which I am). I accidentally forgot to put a subject on the email, but alas, nothing I can do now…
It doesn’t seem like you really like half the schools on your list - you just applied because you and your mom want you to go to a prestigous school. Does your dad’s college offer free tuition exchange at other colleges? (some colleges are in a tuition - waiver consortium for children of professors/staff).
You need to focus on schools you actually like, and not just for their name or rank. And educate your mom on what the actual admit rates are, especially for computer science (lower than published acceptance rates).
How is your high school rated? Is it a competitive/rigorous HS? I can relate to the Math competition issue as my student’s public school refused to inform kids about these or participate. But, anything can be googled - and there are other ways to do research, especially with a nearby college. That’s water under the bridge (ie it doesn’t matter now), but realize you are competing with kids with these experiences on their resumes.
Don’t worry - you will find the place that is the right fit for you. But let go of the ranking/prestige/rank being so important - it’s not.
Adding - sorry I see you revised your list. Good luck to you and let us know how it all turns out! 
@sunnyschool I don’t know exactly what it’s called, but I get 60% of local university’s tuition. So if the tuition is $50k, I would get $30k/yr up to 4 years paid for me. A very good deal!
My HS is probably the strongest in the area and does well with testing and graduation rates and such. I think we’ve recently grown in opportunities as we have offer around 20 AP classes now I believe, which was far fewer than when my sister was in HS 6 years ago.
My parents came here for more opportunities for me and my sister. I can understand their point of view with the Asian education system being extremely meritocratic - how you perform on one standardized test determines how “good” of a college you get into and that college then plays a major part in your career as well. I really do not care about prestige that much believe it or not, but I’m taking it into consideration as I can tell it’s very important to my mom and even my dad though he’s less outspoken.
I don’t think my mom at least would ever understand why anybody would turn down for example, Harvard for Carleton (or pretty much any school for that matter). It is very frustrating for me whenever she says (roughly translated) “If you get into one of the ‘top’ schools [which in her eyes are only HYPSM], you would definitely go there, so I don’t think you should apply to so many ‘second-tier’ schools.”
If it were me, I’m so far very much enjoying all the personal attention that I’ve received from Carleton so far that is the hallmark of a liberal arts experience, but very few children can say they are completely free of their parents’ influences. Also, making my parents happy would make me very happy, and honestly people’s experiences at for example Harvard and Tufts will not be all that different. Not to mention that prestige does have some merit; it would be naive to ignore it completely. Things are well-known for a reason, and because they’re well-known, they often have bigger endowments which would translate to more opportunities to students.
I’ve tried to reason with her, but I’ve come to understand that going to a “good” college is almost like a validation of a children’s upbringing for many Asian parents. Making my parents happy should also matter to me, no? They are the ones paying for me as well. That being said, it is just one factor that I will take into consideration. I know that I should also pick a place that fits me, but the issue is that I’m not sure what that exactly is. I am an adaptable person, and I KNOW that I will be fine wherever I go. We’re so lucky that America has so many great institutions to choose from.
Anyways, what’s done is done, I’ve applied to my colleges and I realize that the odds are against me. I will do my college visits to my accepted schools, I will see how I feel, and then I will discuss with the people around me to make a decision. Ultimately, I know that my parents just want me to be happy, and if I’m absolutely miserable during a visit at a prestigious university, then I will for sure go to a less prestigious one that I feel is better for me. But really, selective colleges (like <30%) have more in common than not imo - motivated and smart students, great professors, and resources. It’s the people around me that will ultimately make my college experience, and I’m confident that I would be able to find a happy niche in 95% of colleges. If there’s one thing I’m looking for, it’s for intelligent and hardworking people around me to make me a better person and student, and I think I can say that all of the colleges that I’m applying to meets that criterion.
I’ve again gone off on a bit of a tangent, but let’s see how it all goes and I will make a decision in April. The privileged yet perennial battle between Asian and American cultures will continue for me then 
Thanks for the good wishes
So, out of curiosity, where did you end up applying?
@Zion101 Thanks for the explanation.
It really is a cultural thing - but remember what country you are in. Many Americans don’t necessarily buy into all that. Ask anyone with a “prestigious” job - did they or their coworkers go to Ivy league schools? Probably not - or only a very small percent. Even in Wall Street, many employees went to CUNY or SUNY schools. And most CEO’s did not go to an Ivy league school…they graduated from state flagship universities. That is a fact.
The Ivies have also shifted who they accept, and it’s not just the students with perfect stats. They are trying to give priority to lower income kids, diversity, and those that have truly unique accomplishments. It is not just based on scores and grades. Those schools take pride in how many perfect-stat and valedictorians they reject.
The attention from Carleton is nice. I’m not sure it is a true safety - but you have the local school with reduced tuition for that.
OP - CC’ers love to talk about “fit” when it comes to college application. I am not quite a believer of it. You apply to schools where you could get the best education possible (most of the time it is the most prestigious), and when the results come in then you pick one where you will be happiest (location, number of students, diversity). Most students do not get to pick where they go to K-12, and most of them are happy where they went.
Top 20 schools are all reaches for most students and it is why you need to apply to as many as possible. With your stats, it is more about your essays (I think you do write well), ECs (your sports should count quite a bit even if you are not recruited), LORS (sounds like you got some great ones) and LUCK.
I came to this thread late, but I whole heartedly disagree with people who said you should take Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, Dartmouth…off your list. Why? If you do not apply, you have zero chance of getting in. Would you really be unhappy at Harvard if you should get in? What if you were to get into Harvard and CMU, would you give up Harvard for CMU? Maybe, if you want to do CS. What if you were to get in Cornell & CMU for CS, would you pick CMU over Cornell? Maybe not, if you like Cornell’s location and atmosphere better. All of those picking and choosing can be done after results are in.
Unlike many CC’ers, my recommendation is to have many more high reaches because admission is holistic and unpredictable, you need to apply to more high reaches to get few acceptances. At the same time, it is important to show love to safeties so not to be shut out of them. My older daughter had very high chance of getting into Cornell and Duke, but she was WL at both of those schools until her GC made calls and she sent in a letter of interest. She got off the WL at both of those schools.
OP - you have great stats. I think you will have some great options come April. Best of luck to you.
It’s really an individual decision, and depends on what’s important to the applicant and their family. Most people have a finite amount of resources - money and time. So if a student is putting together a list and wants to keep it from getting out of control, from a simple numbers perspective it’s often best to balance those high reach places with some matches and high matches that are more likely to admit the student in question. And with a student with these stats, those match places are still excellent schools - people are suggesting places like Emory and Tulane and Northeastern and other great schools.
Hmm, I don’t buy this argument. Children aren’t old enough to consider factors of their K-12 schools, but I think most parents think about it carefully on behalf of their kids when they choose where to move (that is, if they can afford to). Plus, when you move, there’s a whole family of factors to consider - not just the schools but also parents’ jobs, the other kids’ schools, price and cost of living, accessibility to other things that the family needs, etc.
A college decision doesn’t really need all of that, and aside from the price will almost solely affect the student who chooses to attend there. Much more of a focus can be put on fit in that sense. I agree that there are likely a variety of choices that will satisfy a student - most students would likely be happy at more than once college. But prestige isn’t always a reliable marker of where a student will receive the best education. Non-academic factors actually have a lot more impact on a student’s experience (both of their classwork and of other things) than I think most people realize. If a student is at the #1 school on the list but is miserable outside of the classroom, that’s likely to affect their work and achievement.
People were saying she should take Harvard, Dartmouth, and Cornell off her list because 1) she made it clear in the first post that she didn’t really like Harvard at all, and was only applying for the name; and 2) Cornell and Dartmouth were pretty contradictory to the vibe and characteristics she was looking for.
If she were to get into Harvard or Reed, guess where I would have my kid go when I am paying full fare?
How do most families decide where to live? Best school district where they could afford to live. How those school districts are ranked is very similar to how US News rank colleges.
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Hello anybody who reads this. I am back from a successful application season with which I am happy, but now I need help deciding where to go. I realize that I have asked for a lot of help on this site, but over the summer, I plan to write some more about my application experiences in hopes that future applicants might find some of my advice helpful.
Here are my results with some of my thoughts.
General thoughts:
*I am starting to realize that I prefer a rural/suburban campus rather than a true urban campus. Nature has always been a calming presence for me.
*While it would be nice to explore subjects in college, a field in the general math-y direction (applied math, stats, operations research, CS, who knows) seems to still be the most likely.
*It’s interesting that there is a pretty clear divide between my acceptances and not acceptances. The schools that are perhaps considered more “second-tier” by society or less “prestigious” by people that I know accepted me, while pretty much all of the schools that were “top-tier” (HYPS and Dartmouth to an extent) or less common for people in my school to apply to (Pomona, Rice, UChicago) did not accept me. My school has a history with Cornell, Tufts, and CMU, so it would have been more surprising if I was rejected there compared to other recent applicants that have been accepted. My admissions season was not as random as some cases that I have seen. Just an observation that intrigued me.
ACCEPTED
Cornell (Engineering) - Definitely the most prestigious school that I got into especially for engineering. My sister went here and we have had several applicants accepted here in the past, so an acceptance is not a big “shock.” I don’t particularly like the engineering curriculum (not a fan of the hard sciences like the 8 credits of physics required) especially since things like physics don’t seem to be particularly needed for a career in operations research. Will attend Cornell Days to see and hear more about if the size, curriculum, and location is good with me.
Carleton - I always felt a good fit with the school. Its relative proximity to the city is nice. Will attend accepted students days to get a better idea of what the true liberal arts college experience is like.
Middlebury - The location looks beautiful from descriptions and pictures that I have seen, and its rural location with no access to a major city is not a breaking point for me. I enjoy the general vibe as in Carleton and will visit this school as well. If I find out that I truly want a liberal arts experience with a community, it will probably come down to Carleton and Middlebury.
Vanderbilt - When I was applying here in late application season, I was thinking about education policy as well which Vanderbilt and its education program is obviously tops. Nashville sounds like an amazing city, but unfortunately, I will not get a chance to visit due to time constraints. I think if I had access to a city, I would definitely make time for myself to take advantage of it. Visiting some of the more rural schools will probably give me more of an idea if Vanderbilt should be one of my higher choices. The location is probably the biggest plus with another advantage that is has over Cornell is the fact that you do not have to declare your major until sophomore year for CAS (leaving me more time to explore). Nobody close to me seems particularly warm to the idea of Vanderbilt though.
CMU (MCS - mathematical sciences) - Accepted to two special scholar programs as well though the descriptions of what the actual benefits are very vague and not helpful. We had two people accepted last year and other people in the past, so again, not a huge “shock.” Pittsburgh is a great city, but for some reason, it’s hard to imagine myself going here.
Tufts - Originally applied for its location and its bridge year program but am now probably unlikely to attend. I may still end up applying for a service year independent of Tufts, but it’s hard to imagine myself picking Tufts over Vanderbilt if I want a more urban school not to mention that it seems more worthwhile to go to Northeastern for almost free than Tufts.
Northeastern - Accepted to Honors Program with 27k scholarship. Combined with the tuition grant that I receive, I could basically go for free. My parents seem to have crossed this off the list simply because it’s a “lower” school, but the scholarship and co-op/experiential experience have me still considering it. Is, for example, a Cornell education really worth 120k more than Northeastern? I’m not so sure but will continue talking to my parents about it and my GC.
Local University (not to be named to avoid very easy identification) - Accepted with the highest merit scholarship. Would also basically be free, but I want to go outside of my hometown since I have the opportunity. With Northeastern being on the same financial level, I have pretty much ruled this college out.
WAITLISTED
Yale - Shocker honestly! For some reason, Yale thought I was in the top 10% of their applicants. I will pursue a waitlist, but I know that it is unlikely especially considering that I am an Asian male.
Pomona - This one made me a little sad. I regretted not applying ED for awhile, but I just keep telling myself that I have never visited (though almost had the opportunity had my parents not booked West Coast tickets without checking with me) and my feelings might be different after I visit. Will also pursue a waitlist. Time to move on and love the schools that wanted me.
Rice - My cousin was accepted here three years ago with basically the same overall application (I read his essays as well, they were average), and I think my waitlist shows just how much more competitive admissions has become in a measly three years! Will probably not pursue a waitlist as I have many other good choices.
UChicago - Thought I would be outright rejected, but apparently they like to waitlist a lot of people. I am not planning to pursue a waitlist.
REJECTED
Harvard, Princeton, Stanford - No surprises here.
Dartmouth - Thought this was my strongest application. This was my best interview. I genuinely thought that I was a good fit. The sense of community is what made Dartmouth one of my top choices. The D-plan and beautiful location were other pluses, but it wasn’t meant to be.
***Just a note, I am a bit overwhelmed since I am missing so much school this month, so I probably won’t have time to respond extensively (it took me like 30 minutes just to write this post lol). If anybody cares to pitch in their thoughts, know that it will be read and appreciated and considered but probably not responded to in a timely fashion.
First off, congrats! You were accepted at some great schools! I’m going to put in a plug for Cornell. My husband did the 5 year BS/MBA program with his undergraduate degree in OR. I was in A&S. If you aren’t totally sure about what direction you want to go in, Cornell is a great fit because you also don’t declare your major until after first sophomore year and you can transfer to another college. Because everyone has a lot of liberal arts distributions, it should be easy enough to switch majors without being behind in any way. Transferring OUT of engineering shouldn’t be a problem. It’s transferring in that could potentially be challenging. Good luck with your decision. You have amazing options!
Your schools are so all over the map that I can’t even begin to understand your criteria.
Suggest keep in mind whether the school you pick actually offers significant coursework in the fields you think you might be interested in (eg operations research).
If a school seems to offer only a very few directly relevant courses in it, check to see how often those courses are actually given (ie every other year? Only when a visiting prof there has that expertise / interest?)
Suggest examine not the course catalog, but rather the registrar’s list of courses actually offered over the past two years
You might change your interests once you get there anyway, but it seems like the place you select should have decent offerings in whatever you think you might want at this point. As well as areas you think you might come to be interested in. Though you will learn so much more about so much else once you are someplace.