<p>I'm glad this thread has turned into a kinder one. It was harder on me, too, when my first one left the nest. That empty, empty room! For two weeks I was numb with grief. The whole first year was a big adjustment. </p>
<p>My advice to others for whom the change is a wrench: be easy on yourselves, but keep alert for opportunities to try new things, get out more. Gradually, it will get better. It is especially thrilling when the kids turn into actual adults you like! Then, though you <em>still</em> miss the cuddly years, you wouldn't for the world turn back the clock and undo the grownup product. Meanwhile. . . it's not wrong or shameful for this process of readjustment to take time.</p>
<p>I like the carpet commercial that shows the parents considering various options on using the empty bedroom. I worry that that judge might have deeper issues that could affect her decision process...I know I would be looking for a new hearing on any decision I lost in in her courtroom during the past half year.</p>
<p>A family cell phone plan has been wonderful for our family. Dd calls from college just to say hello quite frequently ( NO, it's not a crutch. Dd is living in her own apartment, buying her own food, etc. - but we all love each other, and like to stay in touch.) Like most of the family plans, there is no charge for cell-to-cell calls, so calling doesn't use any minutes. It has helped us feel connected in a way that we couldn't have if we just got phone calls for the BIG issues. She calls her teenage brother at least once a week, and he really likes that. So I heartily recommend a family cell phone plan if it's affordable. And Mr. B., the judge sounds perfectly normal, and emotionally healthy to me. She's a momma adjusting to her new life with a grown daughter now out of the home. It is a major life change - similar to leaving home yourself, having the first baby, etc.</p>
<p>It does get better.<br>
I find now when my son comes home during break, I am really ready for him to go back. Not because I love him or miss him any less, but that I've gotten used to doing things for me and DH and the kids are no longer the "priority" I made them before they left for college.</p>
<p>What I've always gotten a kick out of is that although S (and now D) felt so independent, there would be that phone call out of the blue with strange questions, e.g., "where do I find the ham in the supermarket--the hot or cold section?" "how did you wash my leotards?" No matter how old kids get, they'll still need to seek parental advice however trivial. (Thank God!)</p>
<p>You are so right, Little Mother. I think I may have already received the winner in that category. One of the 2 phonecalls I got from S in the >10 days he's been gone was a 30-second call during the workday.</p>
<p>"Hey Mom, I'm in the athletic center signing up, should I put you down as 'Emergency Contact' ? Yes? OK, thanks!"</p>
<p>After hanging up, I stood scratching my head, wondering who ELSE would have been the appropriate choice. ;)</p>
<p>I too am glad to see that this has turned into a more empathic thread! I was beginning to think that CC was "a pretty tough audience"! I know that I share that certain sadness that comes with seeing our oldest child leave home, though of course I am absolutely thrilled for him! Now I find myself wondering if it's OK to call him or IM him, or will I be bothering him --when it's always been so natural to walk into his room and just talk! I know I'll get used to this but I definitely miss him!</p>
<p>Mootmom, S (22) called last month to ask me for his frequent flyer number (that I had provided, of course, weeks beforehand). When asked where he was--he was checking into his overseas flight and was entering the number as I dictated it. He later called for the number so he could write it down. Oy!</p>
<p>Another funny story- A friends S is a sophomore transfer student at a big U 2000 miles away from home. He left 2 weeks ago and finally called home, irate because no one has called him. My friend explained she was waiting for him to call her. His response was Mom you ALWAYS call me why would you stop now, when Im so far away and need to hear your voice the most.</p>
<p>Funny stories. Here's my latest: IM-ed D at school around August 15 (she had stayed up there to work) and asked if she wanted to join us on vacation. Her response: "Oh, I don't know, I haven't planned my summer that far ahead." Me: Um, well, you know it's over in like two weeks right? Her: "What? It is?" They don't call Williamstown the Purple Bubble for nothing.</p>
<p>My S called us last year from the beach in CA asking us how to get back to Pomona. He ended up on a beach he had never been to before. I pulled up my CA map from my home in Az and gave him directions. We keep reminding him to get a map to keep in his car and even bought him one finally which he forgot to bring to school. Otherwise he is very independent but that was a strange phone call!</p>