<p>This is NOT a face-to-face discussion, momof2. Because of that, and due to the anonymity of a message board, I'm sure there are many people such as myself who don't take the time to couch their opinions in the least offensive terms to every human being posting, lurking, or in this case--not even aware the discussion is occurring.</p>
<p>IRL I'd probably rank as one of the three most sensitive people you've every met in my dealings with people--direct and opinionated maybe--but extremely sensitive to the feelings of others.</p>
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The posts above crossed the line into personal attacks, IMO, starting with the OP's sarcasm.
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<p>The sarcasm was intended at the entire concept of the NY TIMES article. The way it presented the hardships of these girls, hardships surrounding growing up in one of the most affluent suburbs in the country, shopping with credit cards, attending one of the best high schools in the country, with multiple Starbucks and multiple SAT prep centers. Puhleeze. If that's "hardship", I'd like to know what the Times would say about growing up in Roxbury....or maybe even rural Kentucky where kids come home from school and help with the family farm instead going to kiddie Yoga.</p>
<p>"IRL I'd probably rank as one of the three most sensitive people you've every met in my dealings with people."</p>
<p>Humble, too! ;) :eek: (Sorry - really -I couldn't resist, the devil made me do it, or maybe it was something I ate, and you can pelt me with sinking matzoh balls or wet noodles, and I expect that what you say is probably true. Chalk it up to a bad karma point, and I'll have to pay for it later.)</p>
<p>Zoosermom, if she wants to take an SAT prep course through her Catholic school, we'd have to pay & it's offered after school & on weekends. How could she even fit it in with everything else? I'm not convinced she'd get anything out of it she wouldn't do herself with prep books. (I think she'd rather see what sections she finds troubling & focus on those at her own pace. She's not very patient.) But she would HATE to take it. I won't force her. And in our town, SAT prep is free. They even offered an SAT prep course when the middle school kids took the CTY! How ridiculous, as the test is supposed to identify gifted kids who can handle math without ever having been taught it. Prep classes defeat the program's purpose. </p>
<p>Many, many publics offer free SAT prep, even some of the worst inner city schools. So the talk of who is advantaged and who is not gets extremely silly & complicated anyway. Who is at a worse disadvantage: the poor, inner city kid with a devoted single mother who pushes for every program her kid qualifies for? Mentoring, tutoring, prep courses, free music lessons & performing arts programs, summer enrichment? Or the middle class kid with uninvolved parents who is left to his own devices?</p>
<p>ID, just because this girl was the focus of a news article does not transform her into a "character." This is a public board with permanent archives discussing a real person (not even yet an adult), labeling her as someone we all should be "ashamed of." My bet is she's already been informed by her friend, who posted yesterday, about this thread and is probably even reading it. No, it's not face to face, if it were you would all be ashamed of yourselves, not her.</p>
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ID, just because this girl was the focus of a news article does not transform her into a "character." This is a public board with permanent archives discussing a real person (not even yet an adult), labeling her as someone we all should be "ashamed of."
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<p>I didn't label Esther, or any of the girls, as any such thing. Actually, I only commented on her essay, which she chose to publish on the NYTIMES website for comment. How could I comment on any of the girls? I don't know them.</p>
<p>From ID "In this case, we are discussing a character in a NY Times article. A character in a NY Times article who chose to publish her college essay in a national publication."</p>
<p>There is a huge difference between constructive criticism and criticism. Post #185 showcases the criticism that exists on this thread. I do believe that Interested Dad has an excellent working knowledge of what makes a good college essay. I've given some of his advice to many prospective applicants. The essay should indeed show a piece of oneself that does not shine through on other parts of the application.</p>
<p>I believe that Esther was trying to do that and could have used some fine-tuning by an adult who is well versed in the world of college essays. Xiggi said that the essay was a lost opportunity. Perhaps it was ... perhaps Esther didn't know to or want to ask for constructive criticism on her essay. Maybe, like many 17 year-olds, she doesn't take criticism well, and ... hmmm.... just wanted to write it herself and not have an "unfair advantage."</p>
<p>That's a good point, momof2, though I still have a hard time believing that any of these kids really really care what we think.</p>
<p>As for the famous "ashamed" (which I think I first used), I don't believe anyone said we should "all" be ashamed of this girl. I expressed my personal opinion that I would be ashamed if my son wrote this essay. Different families have different values. My guess is that this girl and her family wouldn't have a clue what I meant anyway.</p>
<p>Sticker, some of those equalities you suggest are illusory. Our hs offered free or low-cost test prep but like your D, there was no way our D was going to fit it into her schedule. Instead, she got one-on-one tutoring. And the benefit she got could NOT have been obtained by just going through some review books; the biggest impact was from being coached on how to approach the test psychologically. Qualitatively, her test prep was far better than that offered in large classes at the high school. The latter are better than nothing but no one should suppose that they're an equivalent experience to private courses. I also suspect that they hit a slightly different demographic in that they're more geared to getting a 1000 to a 1100 or a 1200 to a 1350 than a 1400 looking for 1540+.</p>
<p>Unlike some, on this issue I'm a hypocrite: I don't believe that test prep is a good idea but as circumstances stand, it's an arms race where I also don't believe in unilateral disarmament and so we did it. As I've remarked to my D on more than one occasion, you may not like the rules of the game but they are what they are until they're changed.</p>
<p>"If your high school does not rank and sets up an incomprehensible grading system... then the colleges can't see which kids are the best... so then no one gets into college for being "best student at Norton". So a valedictorian at Podunk High with a 4.0 unweighted GPA is better off.... because at least that kid can show he is "best" at academics.
If your high school does not distinguish between the rigor of honors and AP classes.... then the colleges can't see which kids are taking the hardest courses. Colleges want to know which kids took the "most challenging" courseload possible at their respective high schools -- not that everyone has to follow that route, but because it is one more way they can sort the smartest and most highly motivated kids from the rest of the pack."</p>
<p>Our high school ranks in GPA brackets (for example if a student has an 8.7 that will show up in the bracket of "8.5-9.0: top 5.3%") and explains its GPA and course-level system well. My point is that the article does not present an accurate picture of academics at Newton North, and certainly not the same picture that admissions officers get. We have students every year who get into Ivies and other top schools taking only 2 APs per year. </p>
<p>I have not told Esther about this forum and don't intend to do so. I don't know if she has found it or not but I hope she never does.</p>
<p>I do not agree with everything that is said here in this forum. that said, I am glad that the differences in opinion are here in the open for everyone to see and share. I would not remove this thread.</p>
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I have not told Esther about this forum and don't intend to do so. I don't know if she has found it or not but I hope she never does.
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<p>Well, Celeste, there are two ways to look at your comment. On the one hand, one may think you'd do this protect your friend from reactions to the publication of her story. Admirable as that might be, sheltering people from the truth is rarely the best alternative. </p>
<p>Then, on the other hand, allow me to return the favor of a comment about College Confidential. While it is TOO LATE for your friend to learn anything from CC, she would have been one of the best candidates to learn a few things when starting the process. Had she read the COUNTLESS threads on writing an essay, she might have avoided sending "that" essay to her schools. </p>
<p>As I wrote before, this was not so much an individual failure as the failure of a system that was supposed to provide help and guidance. Reading Esther's and Colby's essays provide ample proof that is plenty of room for improvement, even in one of the wealthiest suburbs in America. It is obvious that in Newton, nobody had the courage to be honest about the essays, or far worse, nobody understood why they were very poor college application essays.</p>
<p>One of the recurring themes I've noticed is that students are often sitting on really interesting essay topics, buried on their EC lists, and don't even know it. The tendency is to get caught up in the "overcoming hardship" or "grand social theme" essays that they never even consider writing about some fun, interesting experience that would make them stand out from the pack as an engaged, vibrant young adult. To this day, I think the best college essay I've ever read on CC was a story about an afternoon of taking photographs at an anti-war rally in the streets of NYC. Just a stream-of-consciousness type recounting of the afternoon, moving through the crowed with flashes of imagery. No thesis, no conclusions, but an essay that left the distinct impression of an interesting kid.</p>