NY Times article

Parents Forum
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<p>Here you go, Xiggi. Post #174: </p>

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Here's what I think: the parents of the girl, probably blinded by theri own collection of degrees, NEVER thought that .. rejections might come.

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</p>

<p>Technically a shot at the parents, not the kid but mean-spirited, sarcastic, hyperbolic and elitist. (Unless you truly believe this, which would just be mind-boggling to me, having read your astute posts for the past four or five years.) Nobody, even parents with degrees from Smith and Harvard really thinks their children will NEVER be rejected. And how do degrees from such fine schools blind people? If anything it's the passing of 25-30 years and the changing of the admissions process into a contest that would have blinded them to any outcome.</p>

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<p>I would never question the wisdom of a real applicant like Esther and her parents (who we know from the NY Times are wonderful people and deserving of a big group hug). </p>

<p>However, hypothetically speaking, I imagine that the hypothetical parents of a hypothetical student at a hypothetical noted affluent Boston high school would hypothetically have been surprised by a hypothetical outright ED rejection from Williams and especially by a hypothetical rejection from Middlebury.</p>

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<p>LOL, Idad. :)</p>

<p>But Xiggi didn't say that they were probably surprised by the Williams and Mid rejections. He said they assumed their daughter would NEVER be rejected. Big difference. We are trying to parse subtleties of tone here to see who the bad guys are, right? ;)</p>

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<p>
[quote]
Nobody, even parents with degrees from Smith and Harvard really thinks their children will NEVER be rejected.

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<p>I understand what Xiggi is saying. I don't have a degree from Smith or Harvard, but I would have been surprised by rejection letters from 7 of the 8 colleges on my daughter's list (maybe 6 if you count the one large out-of-state university that may not have weighted ECs as wholistically as a smaller school with a less numbers-driven admissions approach).</p>

<p>But that's just me. I'm weird. I don't really believe in applying to colleges that you can't get into.</p>

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<p>Of course YOU would have been surprised by her rejections. You were highly educated about the entire process, through CC and various other sources. YOU helped your D identify and craft not only compelling applications but the actual list of schools that made sense for her. You are practically a genius at knowing how to take a kid and market their application to best show off who they really are. I used your advice with my S's applications two years ago and thanked you on this forum for it. It seems fair to say that her parents weren't knowledgeable and didn't do this, but it's unfair to say that they were blinded by their Harvard/Smith degrees and expected their daughter to NEVER be rejected.</p>

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<p>Well, I don't know about any of that. I could have been dead wrong.</p>

<p>The hypothetical dead giveaway of hypothetical surprise in this hypothetical case would have been the hypothetical dad driving the hypothetical letter to the hypothetical uber-competitive high school for the hypothetical student to open in public. Hypothetically speaking, he should have used a hypothetical halogen lamp to confirm a hypothetical acceptance before doing that to his hypothetical daughter. Even a hypothetical acceptance should really be opened at home, not in public at school where there may be hypothetical students dealing with their own hypothetical ED disappointments.</p>

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<p>For Girls, It?s Be Yourself, and Be Perfect, Too</p>

<p>Well the NYT certainly got this one right. Don't write a perfect essay and there are many people ready, willing and eager to denigrate, belittle, and castigate. This thread is the most disturbing I have ever seen. Have some decency. I am appalled by the postings. They say more about the posters than the girl in question.</p>

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<p>I read the entire article in the print edition - I don't think the essay was published in the print edition - and I thought these girls sounded fantastic.</p>

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<p>So I keep checking back and this thread is still here.
I thought all the outraged posters would have petitioned the mods and it would have been removed by now.</p>

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<p>My sentiments, stated earlier, njdad. My gut actually hurt when I read some of the posts in this thread. I know I won't be missed as I am only a Junior Member who doesn't post often, but this thread (along with some previous vitriolic discussions) have convinced me to limit my CC engagement to the Music Majors Forum, where I have found an exceptionally decent and supportive group of posters! </p>

<p>PS: Re contacting the moderator....I think we should know the boundaries and be able to moderate ourselves!</p>

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<p>Oh, I see: this is just grandstanding then, and a chance to feel morally superior--not genuine concern for the girl who might be reading this thread.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
Here you go, Xiggi. Post #174: </p>

<p>
[quote]

Here's what I think: the parents of the girl, probably blinded by their own collection of degrees, NEVER thought that .. rejections might come.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Technically a shot at the parents, not the kid but mean-spirited, sarcastic, hyperbolic and elitist. (Unless you truly believe this, which would just be mind-boggling to me, having read your astute posts for the past four or five years.) Nobody, even parents with degrees from Smith and Harvard really thinks their children will NEVER be rejected. And how do degrees from such fine schools blind people? If anything it's the passing of 25-30 years and the changing of the admissions process into a contest that would have blinded them to any outcome.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Okies, I really, really had to sit down and digest this comment. Is that "comment" really the BEST you can come up, when looking for "mean spirited"? And, all this time, I thought people were worried about the fragile ego of a 17 year old. Please tell me when the wave of "children defendants" changed clients! </p>

<p>Well, Momoftwoinca, I think that characterizing my comment in post number 174 OR ANY OTHER COMMENTS FOR THAT MATTER as mean spirited and offensive is quite a stretch. So, in this apparent sea of outrageous meanness, I have offended you with a post that starts with "Here's what I think: the parents ..." Was the offense based on my "opinion" that this set of parents did not expect a rejection when they agreed to participate in the NYTimes project. </p>

<p>Further, here's what the entire paragraph:</p>

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[quote]
Fwiw, I completely disagree that this story "magically" appeared in the NYTimes. Pretending that it was printed without the full approval of the parents, the students, and the school is pure non-sense. The reality is that people do SEEK to participate in such stories for an elusive Warhol-like 15 minutes of fame. </p>

<p>However, when the story does not turn out as planned, the objections start to fly. Here's what I think: the parents of the girl, probably blinded by theri own collection of degrees, NEVER thought that .. rejections might come. Not much different from thinking that the essay was remarkable. Remarkable enough to share via the world ... forever -thanks to the power of the internet. And, as far as "I'm sure many of us also think our kids essays were great, and would be happy to share them here, not thinking what might happen" ... "What might happen" IS something educated parents should have thought about! Who else is there to blame? And, for that matter, the parents do not live in some backwater state and are well edcuated: they should have known better!

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<p>Did I misunderstood this quoted paragraph from the original article:</p>

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[quote]
About that thin envelope: Mr. Mobley, unschooled in such intricacies, said he hadn?t paid much attention to it. He had wanted so much for his daughter to get into Williams, he said, and believed so strongly in her, that it was as if he had wished the letter into being an acceptance.

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<p>However, since I do not like to waffle about my own words or start flip-flopping a la Kerry, I make no apologies for my opinion that the responsibles for any backlash resulting from the NYTimes are the ... parents. I believe so strongly about that full responsibility that I'll admit that there was a judmental hint when I wrote this "The second one is about WILLFULLY participate with the press in college admission stories and put YOUR children entire life on DISPLAY for a small trip down ego-boosting alley!" </p>

<p>Indeed, the allegation of ego-boosting is a bit harsh, so feel free to blame me for having contributed so negatively and meanly to a none-too-endearing thread. </p>

<p>So, here it is, in honor of the family of theologians and latin scholars: </p>

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Confiteor Deo omnipotenti quia peccavi nimis verbo: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

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<p>Oh Xiggi, you have not offended me. That implies that you have injured me and that I somehow hold resentment due to your words or beliefs. I'm just pointing out bad manners and asking adults to act with decorum when speaking about a teenager's efforts, even though they have the choice and right not to. </p>

<p>BTW, it wasn't the dad's Harvard sheepskin that "blinded" him to the idea of a Williams' rejection, but his love for his daughter. Been guilty of that a few times, too. It's kinda embarassing, but most other parents recognize themselves in the slo-mo crash and politely turn the other way when they see it happening in public. OTH, some people can't help but stare. Others point out loudly just how stupid and shameful such behavior is.</p>

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<p>This thread has run its course and veered off topic, so I'm closing it.</p>