NYU College Essay help

College Essays
1

<p>NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)</p>

<pre><code>For a long time, New York City was only a place that I had read about. I envisioned Lady Liberty on Liberty Island lighting the path for freedom, the Empire State building scraping the clouds, and Central Park being a haven from traffic. All of these landmarks lived up to their name when I visited the city at ten. From that point, I knew that this was where I wanted to be in the future.
I grew up in the suburbs in a small city. While it had all of the standard necessities of living and entertainment, I felt that life was boring. The silence in the air irked me. What I desired was excitement and noise. I wanted to learn, interact and be able to explore everything there was to offer. What I desired, was to live life to the fullest but I felt the suburbs held me back.
My first experience of city life was during my trip to Hong Kong. During that summer, I felt as though I could do everything. To get fresh bread all I had to do was walk downstairs. All the places I wished to be was a subway ride away. I could walk to piano lessons, tennis practice, and even the shore. The city was buzzing with life and I could feel it with every breathe I took. During that trip, my cantonese was put to the test. I had thought that speaking to the people there would be completely different than I how I spoke at home. Surprisingly, everybody understood me and most couldn’t even recognize me as a foreigner.
After that trip, I missed the thick city atmosphere, filled with neverending energy. Even my active participation in a dozen clubs and activities could not replicate the vibe I had experienced. However, my mind was reignited when I entered New York City. The same excitement I had felt in Hong Kong raced through the air. It was then that I realized that New York City was the place for me, to study and to live.

Is there any advice or tips that I could use for this essay? I feel that I may or may not be answering the question completely. please help
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2

<p>To be honest, I don’t think they care that you like the city because there are hundreds of other nyc schools you can go to. </p>

3

<p>While this is well written, you have not answered the question at all. They are not asking why you like city life or nyc in particular. The main questions they expect answered is what can NYU offer you ( think programs and clubs rather than city life alone) and what can YOU offer to NYU (think what can you offer the NYU community–this can parallel what you’ve contributed to your hs, extended into college. ). Good luck-- but definitely rewrite it!</p>

4

<p>thank you! i’ll rewrite it</p>