NYU debt! Please Advise!

Paying for College
1

<p>Hi guys,</p>

<p>I really need some help. </p>

<p>My girlfriend (who I obviously care about) is attending NYU and is financing 100% of her education and I’m losing sleep over it because I feel she is headed for a HUGE disaster.</p>

<p>She is older than 25, transferred from another school, and I predict she will have roughly 7 semesters (ie 3.5 years) worth of debt racked up by the time she is done. She has already finished 4 semesters. Furthermore, she is majoring in the College of Arts & Science, has a good science major but does not have any concrete ideas of a career post graduation.</p>

<p>My prediction is that her debt will be anywhere as low as 140 K (i.e. 40K * 3.5 years) to 245K (ie 70K * 3.5 years). I don’t really know the details b/c she just does not feel comfortable discussing them with me. But, my guess would be that she will be somewhere in the middle, like around 200K. Plus, I think she may have a few grand in credit card debt, but not sure exactly. From poking around the internet, I think that that the interest rates are around 6.8-7.5% on most of the loans (i.e. private and federal). The amount that NYU has given her in grants minimal – just a few grand a year!</p>

<p>Q1: Are these assumptions correct?</p>

<p>My gut feeling is that she will be BUST even if she gets a top job (ie paying 60K) – which I doubt. She’s a good student – but not outstanding. Plus she does not have many extracurricular activities or that killer instinct to go for the high pay / high stress jobs. Even if she doesn’t go bust, I think she (and maybe me) will have to live a CRAPPY life for a LONG LONG TIME. </p>

<p>Q2: Am I being unreasonable here? I’ve ran through soooo many scenarios, and all of them lead to doomsday! </p>

<p>I guess you can say that I am VERY frustrated at both HER (and her parents) and NYU. I’m UPSET at her because she did NOT listen to my advice on considering a more affordable school. Furthermore, she really did not make an effort to hunt down scholarships even though I recommended that she should really spend 2 weeks and go crazy with this. I am 110% certain that she could have gotten scholarships for her situation. I think she tried to get them, but I think she got discouraged when she could not find them easily. Plus, the financial aid office / people at NYU are bastards, and did not help her out at all. Finally, her parents are just not very involved in her life at all, so she basically suffers from “bad/no parenting.” So instead, she focused on getting a job (she found one that works well for her), but I think it was a big mistake b/c now she’s got some serious debt. I’m not trying to stick up for her, because I’m ****ed off at her! But I think that is why she didn’t listen to me.</p>

<p>I’m upset at NYU because they will basically RUIN her life (and possibly mine if we continue to be involved). NO UNIVERSITY should allow students to take on such debt! Or there should be laws that say, “We CANNOT ACCEPT YOU to our school unless you get X amount in scholarship on your own because you will BE BROKE!” I personally think that NYU should be sued. </p>

<p>Q3: Do you guys agree? Would you guys be frustrated by this situation? </p>

<p>Perhaps I’m just freaking out b/c I went to a good state school in the midwest, paid my way through, and graduated school with a small savings! Now I work in NYC and make >100K and I am BARELY scraping by trying to live a half way decent life! I know that I could NOT pay for those loans if I had them, esp since they are on an after-tax basis. I’m just so upset that I don’t know what to do. </p>

<p>Whenever I bring up the topic, she just says, “I’m not worried at all – everything will be OK.” I told her clearly that “I WILL NOT pay for your loans because I don’t agree with your choices,” and she knows that loud and clear. I don’t think she is the type of girl who would be using me, but perhaps I’m blinded right now by the emotions. Or perhaps she is using me subconsciously, and doesn’t even know it. She has told me that she WILL pay off her student loans, but perhaps that means getting a job and just paying for the loans and nothing else. </p>

<p>The bottom line is that I WANT to believe her, but I just don’t think it will be OK. </p>

<p>Q4: Will it be OK? CAN it become OK? I just can’t help but have a doomsday scenario repeat in my head. I would LOVE to hear anyone on this post who feels otherwise. I can just see it now….peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for all!</p>

<p>I have repeatedly tried to talk about this with her, but she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it. She does a good job at dodging the questions, because she really doesn’t have any concrete answers. </p>

<p>Q5: We’ve been dating on and off (mostly on) for about 1.5 years, and I think we should be able to discuss this sort of stuff. But again, maybe that is just me. I’m curious to know what others think. Maybe I should just go and give her a good shake up before the school year starts? I don’t know what I would say though without sounding like an overly negative bastard. How do I be supportive, yet frank? I feel that she has messed up her life SO badly so far feel like saying, “Get a scholarship for next year, or else….” But that is not a healthy/mature way of dealing with a situation. Perhaps it is the only way though. I just don’t know. </p>

<p>Again, maybe this is all just me. I hope so. I will seriously consider changing my views if many others agree.</p>

<p>MANY MANY THANKS for your help</p>

2

<p>Well, those of us who are students over the age of 24 have things different than some of the students and parents of students on this messageboard. Sometimes, I wish there was an area of this site for students over the age of 24 who are trying to earn their BA or BS. </p>

<p>I know nothing of NYU. And, I know nothing of your lady friend's own personal financial situation with regards to her credit, her yearly income, and all of that. </p>

<p>It would totally not be out of line for you to sit down with your lady friend somewhere peaceful and speak with her. </p>

<p>The debt she is taking on is mad sick, eh? And, it is not bad for you to speak with her. She has to learn that she will be SOL unless she tries to either network now and try hard for internships or any volunteering opps so she can slide into a job which pertains to her major. </p>

<p>Since, I have been on this site, I have heard negative things of NYU and fin aid (nothing bad about their academics, just the fin aid). However, this is just a web site so I do not know if they are true or not.</p>

<p>It is weird sometimes to read threads from the parents, where they state that their income is the equivalent to the debt your lady friend currently has and they wonder why they cannot obtain this that or the other grant or loan!</p>

<p>I mean, she could have a yearly income which is soo high that she cannot obtain many grants or something? </p>

<p>But, it is totally not conduct unbecoming to a gentleman if you speak with her about all of this and try to work with her. I mean, I think that just a plain BA or BS is not worth the motherload of all loan based fin aid packages, but that is just me, eh?</p>

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<p>Although I don't advocate this often, if your advice isn't getting to her head, my 2 cents would be to simply break up with her. You have been "on and off for about 1.5 years," so I don't know your level of commitment to her, but why be involved with someone who has over $200k in debt? Don't make your life harder than it already is.</p>

4

<p>I feel your pain being as I am also a NYU student, but I will definitely not have 200k in debt when it is all over.</p>

<p>Hate to sound harsh but...</p>

<p>
[quote]
I guess you can say that I am VERY frustrated at both HER (and her parents) and NYU.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Why are you frustrated with her parents? They don't have a dog in this fight or a nickel in this dime.</p>

<p>First of all you must understand by your girlfriend being 24 years old, she is considered an independent student. Her FA will be based on her income/assets and the school is not looking toward her parents to pay for her education.</p>

<p>Second, because she is 24 years old her parents are under no obligation to pay for her education.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I think she tried to get them, but I think she got discouraged when she could not find them easily. Plus, the financial aid office / people at NYU are bastards, and did not help her out at all. </p>

<p>I’m upset at NYU because they will basically RUIN her life (and possibly mine if we continue to be involved). NO UNIVERSITY should allow students to take on such debt! Or there should be laws that say, “We CANNOT ACCEPT YOU to our school unless you get X amount in scholarship on your own because you will BE BROKE!” I personally think that NYU should be sued. </p>

<p>

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I do not understand why you are blaming the school. At the end of the day we are talking about an adult who made a conscious decision to attend NYU. She knew how much NYU was or was not going to give her before she submitted her intent to enroll. She got her FA package and still CHOOSE to attend. No one put a gun to her head, it was HER DECISION. Maybe not the most financially feasible decision, but still it was her decision. Since you can not write off student loan debt it is going to be her debt to pay off for a long time to come. </p>

<p>Your decision is whether or not knowing all of this, you still want to stay around.</p>

<p>IF she did not get a scholarship from NYU coming in the door, it is highly unlikely that she will get one in subsequent years. </p>

<p>While she does risk losing credits she can tranfer to one of the CUNY schools possibly Hunter or Queens where she could pay for the whole term for almost the same amount of $ she is paying to attend NYU.</p>

<p>Has she considered getting a job and going to school part time. If she works for a major corporation she will have tuition remission that will help offset some of the cost of attending NYU (my job fully paid for my first masters at NYU and is paying $10,000/ yr toward my PhD. Between my tuition remission and the scholarship I got from NYU I pay very little out of pocket.</p>

5

<p>Getting a job is good idea. Can she get a descent paying job with essentially being only half way through undergrad? I've always thought that going part time and working a corporate job was something more for graduate students. </p>

<p>I know she chose to attend. I just don't think she knows the full ramifications of her decisions. </p>

<p>And yes, I agree with the whole parent issue. My impression is just that they have never really been involved too much into her education even at a younger age. It just hurts to see this happen. Even if they cannot contribute money, they could have at least tried to talk her out of the idea. That's my major beef. It just seems like she has no one to give her good advice except for me - at that is hard because we are dating. </p>

<p>I know she means really well. In her mind, she is trying the best she can. I would imagine though, that there are many private scholarships available to her - finding them would be the hardest part. </p>

<p>On a side note, don't most PhD programs require full time attendance?</p>

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<p>is she hot, i think i can get a better view of the situation if you send me a pic of her...............preferably on the beach ...............in a thong</p>

7

<p>NYU is expensive. And I understand the whole scenario of 100k and barely being able to survive. My grandpa's colleague laughed at me when I asked for a 250k starting salary in NYC and said, "I think you're going to need more than that." One thing that I know is that many women have the mentality of spend now and think later. Its not uncommon. I mean if money is that big of an issue for you, then maybe she's not for you. Honestly speaking. Don't get me wrong 140-240k debt for undergraduate school(i'm assuming) is ridiculous. I don't even agree with anyone going to undergrad private schools if trying to finance her own degree. It just doesn't make sense to try to fork out 40-50k per year for a degree that will pull in max 60k starting.</p>

<p>But in all honesty if money doesn't really matter and you love her, things will be ok in the end.</p>

8

<p>
[quote]
On a side note, don't most PhD programs require full time attendance?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I have a fulltime day job (I am also a parent to a college student) because most classes are given in the evening. I take 12 credits a term I just do not do TA duties which would have given me 9 credits of tuition remission for 20 hours of work My job pays $10,000 and I get scholarship $$ from NYU).</p>

<p>However, there are students who attend part time and work full time because even with tuition remission, you must still keep a roof over your head and those expenses are covered with loans.</p>