<p>I found out that NYU projects each year, NOT including summers is 47K.
<a href="http://www.nyu.edu/financial.aid/tuitiongeneral.html%5B/url%5D">http://www.nyu.edu/financial.aid/tuitiongeneral.html</a></p>
<p>Do lenders have to be constrainted by this number of 47K? Please remember that she needs to be here year round, and she also goes to summer school. That's why I place her budget around 70K including summers. That is just absurd though.</p>
<p>I have a suspicion that NYU is giving her the same amount of grant money as someone who has wealthy parents. A few thousand a year is a drop in the bucket for someone with her level of need. And it just seems really hard for her to get help. </p>
<p>This is a tough balance between being removed, yet helpful.</p>
<p>LTS has a very good suggestion. Your GF should make an appointment with a financial advisor, with or without you. The advice would then come from a expert and uninvolved third party.</p>
<p>you say she has already been to school 4 semesters, you project she needs to attend an additional 3.5 years -- if she goes to summer school on top of both regular semesters and she isn't seeking a specialized degree like engineering or teaching -- why is it taking her so long? That is just compounding the situation!</p>
<p>If she were to do 18-20 hours each regular semester and 12 hours in the summer, that would lessen the time and the financial load. it can be done -- I am also a returning adult student with 2 kids, I work 25 hours a week and take 22 hours a semester.</p>
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In olden times, a man would marry without expectation that his wife would contribute income. If you were to marry upon her graduation, and she got a reasonably well paying job and every penny of her net pay went to this debt, the two of you could still find a way to survive on your 100K/yr. Yes, there'd be a lot of pb&j. no condo purchasing, no fancy vacations. Can you live with the resentment you'd feel? Do you love her enough to feel poor for the forseeable future? Would it poison your relationship?
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<p>I have no problem with me or my future spouse staying at home - as long as there are no school loans to pay. I come from a modest upbringing and can't stomach the thought of going to a fancy school, racking up debt, and not work. It also seems a bit extreme (to me) to work, pay off loans, and not have any savings. The MAJOR ramification of this is that if you have kids, then you and your spouse are both working, need a nanny, etc. It just makes me cring to think of having kids and not having at least one of use being around for them. It just feels like a heavy burden to bear if you want to have a family.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I do have progressive thoughts on equality between men and women. I don't feel (necessarily) that a woman should be at home, or that she be forced to work. Each situation is just different. For example, if were best for the family, I would certainly be OK with taking time off from a career if that made sense to spend time with the kids. Just an example.</p>
<p>
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...you say she has already been to school 4 semesters, you project she needs to attend an additional 3.5 years ...
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<p>She's been there for 4 semesters, and has another 3 to go (I think).</p>
<p>hsmomstef:
I really admire your ambition. My gf works a 2-3 days a week and has no children and takes less than 20 hours - and I know how hard that is on her. How do you do it?</p>
<p>so that is another 1.5 years which should have her finished by jan 2008</p>
<p>Your scenario works if the non-working spouse comes to the relationship with no debt. The debt and particualry the level of debt you end up taking on from the degree are the killers. We aren't talking about an extra $100 a month here, we are talking about a mortgage on a single family home in Toledo or Houston or Omaha.</p>
<p>Does anyone know if there is an "Aggregate Cap" on what private lenders, like Sallie Mae, can lend out for educational loans? I think it is quite high - like 190K, which includes the 40K or so the gov will lend.</p>
<p>That seems like an enormous cap for undergrad debt!</p>
<p>Yeah - I think Dec 2007 is the target. Perhaps she should cut her losses and transfer out to a cheaper school? But that has it's own complications.</p>
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We aren't talking about an extra $100 a month here, we are talking about a mortgage on a single family home in Toledo or Houston or Omaha.
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<p>The major difference interest on a home is tax deductible. Only 2500 of interest on student loans is tax deductible, and that is only if you make <65K. The tax break is really not significant for her situation...I predict around perhaps a $800/year tax break for her as long as she makes less than 65K. If she married me, there would be no tax break at all as we would break through limit for married couples. </p>
<p>The after tax payments are really scaring me.</p>
<p>Besides taxes, prinipal payments on a home go to a hard asset that you can enjoy - even if it is to go hunting in the back woods...paying off principal for loans is not the same...</p>
<p>With 3 terms left and halfway through junior year it would make no sense for her to transfer because she would lose money costing her more time and money to finish. Just chalk it up as water under the bridge.</p>
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<p>Your point is well taken. I think we have different definitions of "scraping by." I have been doing a lot of the things you mention (ie roommates, no car, etc), just to save money. I'm buying a condo soon. It's small, but it is something. I'm also in my early 30's and would like to settle down. I think New Yorkers prioritize different things than people in many other areas of the country. Again, I come from the midwest, where the typical family has a home, access to good schools, etc. To have that sort of thing in the NYC area is not an easy task. I suppose you can have a 2 hour commute....</p>
<p>You could have a 2-hour commute. You could buy a condo that is less than 2 hours away.</p>
<p>I have NO idea how you are coming up with your figures for her debt - and I understand why she isn't talking to you about this. First of all, summer classes are cheap. I think that, tops, they would run $2,000/course, or $4,000/summer. </p>
<p>Does she have 3.5 years or 3.5 semesters? NYU is NOT $40,000/semester; it's $40,000/year. Ergo, she'll end up with about $90,000 debt, tops. Yes, that's a lot. If she gets a job making $60,000/year, she'll be able to handle it.</p>
<p>I also think that your figures for interest are off - 6% or so, before consolidation, is reasonable. Assume that she'll end up paying $12,000/year to pay this off. Yes, that's like rent all over again, but that is NOT crippling for a young woman. </p>
<p>There is an age difference. She's young enough to take chances and too young to shortchange herself. Let her. You are both very clearly in different places in your life... and the place that she's in is completely fine for someone her age.</p>
<p>"To have that sort of thing in the NYC area is not an easy task. I suppose you can have a 2 hour commute...."</p>
<p>Heck, I live in a borough of New YOrk City and my commute is frequently two-hours each way.</p>
<p>Mathguy:
As you can see, different people have different tolerance levels for risk and debt. </p>
<p>You need to figure out what your tolerance levels are, and then think about how much of a compatibility factor is it for you. </p>
<p>You may be a person (like me) that feels that agreeing on finances is important, perhaps critical, in a long term relationship. Other people may not see paying over $1500 a month (plus credit card debt you mentioned?!) well into their thirties to be a big deal. </p>
<p>And perhaps more important than the actual amount of debt is how frugal or conservative one is with money. Again, it varies a lot by individual.</p>
<p>I'd say you're thinking about things that matter for a long-term gig.</p>
<p>I agree with Weenie completely. It sounds as if the girlfriend is not financially risk averse, and you are, MG. That bodes poorly for future compatibility anyway, since most couples fight about money and sex more than anything else (and the good sex life can't save the marriage if money is that big a problem!).</p>
<p>Being financial risk adverse is not an undesirable trait in the (assumed) primary wage earner, but it might be wise to avoid crossing the line into becoming a "helecopter husband".</p>
<p>MG, I see much trouble ahead if you do end up marrying this girl. You are understandably concerned about your gf's disregard for money and unnecessarily putting herself in debt. There are many wonderful schools where she could have gotten a excellent education for much less money and maybe even for free. She chose not to do that for reasons I cannot understand. What's going to happen after you're married and she wants to buy a home that you can't really afford and you'd rather not be house poor? If you're not on the same page financially, it's a doomed relationship. Your one last hope is to speak to a financial advisor with her as suggested above, and if she doesn't see the light, move on to someone more compatible. You can still continue to be her friend and be supportive, but you should let her drag you down on her sinking ship. Good luck.</p>