NYU Supplement Help!

<p>Hey guys, I'm applying to the BPE Program at Stern EDI. I need someone who can read over my essay for the Supplemental Essay #2: What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.</p>

<p>I wrote about my favorite genre of music and concerts: Electronic Dance Music! It's very descriptive, vivid (shown, not told). I think it's excellent but missing something. If you are interested in reading please comment or PM me!</p>

<p>Also please check out my Chance thread!- <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1396350-another-high-act-low-gpa-chance-me.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1396350-another-high-act-low-gpa-chance-me.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Bump!!!
10 chars</p>