DePauw in Indiana
I second Lafayette. That is exactly the vibe we got on campus. Friendly as can be, preppy, lots of school spirit and healthy Greek life. My daughter was not interested in any of those things (except friendly) so we crossed it off the list. But I left thinking it was a wonderful place for the right person.
I think you maybe need to think more deeply about the “too quiet” issue. Tours vary so much by time of day and year, area of campus, etc. I just don’t see Denison, Hamilton, Midd, Dickinson, or Gettysburg actually varying much on that scale. Guessing that this really boils down to a size issue.
I second @gallentjill 's recommendation to see Lafayette again.
@citymama9 I totally understand the too quiet issue (though I also hear what others are saying about context of the visit) because my kids noted the same thing. Canceling out other factors like weather and time of year, I think it may depend on how big the campus is relative to the student body. I can confirm that my kids both thought some of these schools (Franklin & Marshall, Denison, Lafayette, Dickinson and Middlebury (also Kenyon btw) lacked a certain energetic “bustle” my kids seek, and the busiest LAC campuses with most energy that we have seen were Dartmouth, Colgate, Lehigh, Bucknell (and especially Wash U, probably given how the quad is situated)-- and every single one of those were toured in horrible cold and rainy weather. I expected my son to love Midd but it was super quiet-we figured it was just such big campus you don’t see a huge population of kids moving around, or they were all out hiking or skiing! 
Some may disagree, this is all subjective, but both of my kids 100% agreed with your D (and they toured 2 years apart)!
If she will look at schools in the south, Washington & Lee, SMU, Rhodes, Tulane, and Vanderbilt might be good fits. A lot of the schools already mentioned in this thread are on the list of schools with the most women in sororities. https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/most-sororities
My D is starting UVA in the fall. Although we do not have a lot of time at the school yet, UVA seems like it would fit your criteria.
How about William & Mary? My D1 liked many of the schools on your list. Her favorites were Holy Cross, William & Mary, Colgate and Bucknell.
On the ‘quiet’ issue my D1 found Lafayette too quiet and my D2 found Hamilton way too quiet, while Colgate was bustling, but we also know it was probably just the time and day we visited. I think a truly quiet school, may be the ones where a lot of kids leave on the weekend or have a % of commuters. Don’t think many residential colleges are truly ‘quiet’, though I do get understand the impression you get on the tour does inform your opinion and it’s hard for kids to get over that.
Do any of you know what kind of SAT scores you need for UVA and William and Mary if you’re out of state?
@citymama9 The data would be two years old (2016-17, Old SAT) but this might give some idea: http://research.schev.edu/enrollment/b12_report.asp
University of Denver. Sports are lacrosse, hockey, skiing. A midsized Greek life. Urban. Always something going on.
@evergreen5 Wow! That was incredibly helpful. Thank you.
So if it is s campus size vs student body size issue, is that really a factor to like or reject a college on? I get “too big” in numbers or a sprawling campus that is hard to get around. Or too small — like fewer people than were in my HS class. Or quiet in the sense that a women’s college often feels calmer or a school with fiercely competitive academics might feel quieter) because everyone is studying). But this just seems like the kind of issue I’d have encouraged my kid to ignore.
Can you be down-to-earth and preppy at the same time?
Washington and Lee, not sure about the down-to-earth part, the others all seem to fit…
Richmond?
LOL. What some saw as lack of bustle on some campuses, others may see as lack of crowding. Yes, Lafayette, for example, is a more compact campus. Hamilton and Middlebury have tons of acreage per student. My kid found that aspect of H and M and their ilk to be especially appealing. Different people like different things!
But OP, it sounds like you have a good sense of what you want- an active campus with Greek life or other very socially active environment. And there have been some good suggestions of such colleges by posters. Good luck!
I see it has been recommended before but I am going to add another vote for Miami U of Ohio. My dd was accepted to Villanova and also loved Lafayette and Gettysburg. Eventually decided the latter were too small and the first was too $$$ for what she was getting. Miami OH seemed to be the right mix. It was a beautiful campus, had friendly people, and we were so impressed with all of the faculty/staff we met. DD went in a completely different direction but we were left with a great impression.
I would second Furman: good Greek life and exceptionally friendly. Rigorous academics. Beautiful campus is a plus.
@intparent If my daughter was highly picky I would talk to her about her concerns, but she actually loved the majority of colleges she has seen. (I take credit for that due my exhaustive research ahead of time, lol). She is someone who knows exactly what she’s looking for, and she’s fairly flexible in so many ways such as whether the location is rural or suburban, whether there’s a nice town nearby or hardly a town at all, whether there’s 2700 students or 7000 etc.She’s even flexible when it comes to majors. So, if she feels like a school’s energy might be too low for her then that’s fine with me. The one thing she won’t budge on is that a school must have Greek life, which I think is unfortunate, but I have to respect her feelings on that.
@makemesmart I agree that people don’t usually think of preppy and down to earth as going together.
The more I think about it, D isn’t necessarily looking for a preppy school. She just seemed to like the schools that didn’t have a hipsterish, hippy, geeky or artsy vibe even though I see her as a little hipsterish.That leaves mainstream/preppy.