<p>Hey I was really proud of that! I made it up myself lol. But yours is hilarious. How about this one:</p>
<p>What did the dog say to the tree?</p>
<p>Bark.</p>
<p>I’ll add a pretty funny math joke I saw a while back to relieve some of the stress:</p>
<p>There were a bunch of polynomial functions who lived together in the Cartesian plane. One day, they were walking leisurely along the x- and y-axes until a rowdy mathematical operator burst into their two-dimensional world. The d/dx operator yelled, “I’LL DIFFERENTIATE YOU AND REDUCE YOU ALL TO ZERO!” All the functions were frightened and scurried as far away as possible. But one function remained calmly in its place. The d/dx operator was perplexed, but it yelled again, “I’LL DIFFERENTIATE YOU AND REDUCE YOU TO ZERO!” </p>
<p>There was still no reaction from the function. Finally, it looked up and spoke: “I am e^(x).” </p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>Oh! Oh! Here is a funny one!</p>
<p>What does William Fitzsimmons prepared us for Christmas???</p>
<p>Guess we’ll find out tomorrow!!!</p>
<p>Three engineers were in a car in the middle of the desert, and the car broke down. The first one, a mechanical engineer, got out and looked at the motor for a bit, made some adjustments, and then started the car. It worked perfectly for about an hour, when it broke down again. The second one, an electrical engineer, looked at the spark plugs for a bit, made some adjustments, and then started the car. It worked fine for another hour, but then it died again. The third one, a computer engineer, opened all the doors, slammed them shut, hit the car a few times, and then drove away.</p>
<p>Not to interrupt the jokes, but I have a quick question: does anyone know if, contingent on an acceptance, we receive a financial aid package tomorrow (or in the next few days with the mailed hard copy)? Provided that we applied for it and filled out the CSS form.</p>
<p>^Haha, that’s a funny one too.</p>
<p>What do you get when you cross a vector and a mountain climber?</p>
<p>Nothing - one of them is a SCALER (badum-chhhh)</p>
<p>@yaysayer I think I read that we do but I’m not entirely sure.</p>
<p>Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?</p>
<p>Because it had no arms.</p>
<p>@strangecharm I am laughing out loud.</p>
<p>I have another finanical aid question that has been bugging me for a while. On my application I indicated that I would be applying for financial aid, however I did not send the CSS profile by November 1 like they asked (i actually haven’t sent it yet). Can/will that affect admissions at all?</p>
<p>AHH @MATHSWIMMER ANTI-JOKE</p>
<p>A dyslexic man walks into a bra</p>
<p>How would Argon react if you punch him in the face?</p>
<p>He doesn’t.</p>
<p>A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.</p>
<p>@Grkathlete94 I honestly have no basis for my answer, but intuitively speaking, I would assume that it wouldn’t affect your application to Harvard, only your application for financial aid. Again I don’t have any information to support this, but I guess you’ll find out tomorrow.</p>
<p>A man walked into a bar. “Ouch!” he cried. It was an iron bar.</p>
<p>“Why by WinRAR, if the free trial never ends?..”
- Philosoraptor</p>
<p>What’s the saddest part about five blacks in a Cadillac driving off a cliff?</p>
<p>They were my friends. </p>
<p>Sent from my LG-P509 using CC App</p>
<p>@Interficio I tell that joke all the time! I think it offends people though lol</p>
<p>Mohandas Gandhi was a peaceful Indian man who walked around barefoot most of the time, leading to very blistered feet. He also had a very unique diet for his time, leading to both terrible breath and an extreme lightness. This guru fought for change in India and in the world until his sad assassination. He was a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.</p>
<p>Annual Darwin Awards:</p>
<p>They are finally out again. You all know about the Darwin Awards. It’s an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.</p>
<p>Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.</p>
<p>And the nominees this year are:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.</p></li>
<li><p>A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6’ 2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman’s wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl’s uniform look. He was also wearing a military gasmask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube’s other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.</p></li>
<li><p>Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.</p></li>
<li><p>A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details before arriving, except that someone had reported that his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man - who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - police made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man had made a hole between the cushions. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>Upon flipping the couch over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had a habit of putting his ***** between the cushions, down into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders, electrocuting him.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and killing herself As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that the driver’s attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi’s life, the woman lost her own.</p></li>
<li><p>A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. “The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,” Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was “Major trauma.”</p></li>
<li><p>A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.</p></li>
<li><p>Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas Company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. His peers had never thought of the technician suspected of causing the blast as ‘bright’.</p>
<p>AND THE WINNER…</p>
<p>Google it if you must.</p>
<p>“Harvard accepts 772 EA Students”</p>
<p>What does this mean</p>
<p>772/4231 = 18% acceptance</p>
<p>9.9% Latino
9.7% African American
22% Asain</p>
<p>OFFICIAL THE 15th. good luck fellow competitors. all is fair in love and admissions!!</p>