<p>So College Life has a thread like this, and Sparknotes occasionally has an article on this, so I thought why not HSL? Post some of the funny things your teachers have said. I have 2 to start it off:</p>
<p>Art Teacher: "I have soo many kids come in drawing noses like this: a big curve with 2 parenthases around them and big black spots in the middle to represent the nostrils. They remind me of saggy boobs."</p>
<p>French Teacher (my friend told me this one): The kids walk into class and as the bell rings they look for their teachers. All of a sudden they hear this: "Ugh, I just don't know which hole to stick it in! Why are there 2 holes? I guess I'll just stick it in the bigger hole and see if it fits." "Umm... Ms. French teacher...what are you doing?" "Oh hey kids! You're here already?" <em>teacher comes up from behind desk with disheveled hair and a flushed face</em></p>
<p>Euro Teacher: "And as soon as Boris Yeltsin became president, everybody just started coming out of the closet! I mean, the started bringing all the skeletons out with them"</p>
<p>“There is no plagiarism, even if you find the source from an internet”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about [TOPIC X], they’d never ask a question like that on the AP Exam”
-my APUSH teacher, where TOPIC X designates a topic he has neglected to teach. There are countless examples, but among the most prominent are 1920s, Gilded Age, anything after WW2, Civil War, and the Jackson administration. </p>
<p>“I’m not a Muslim! Do I look like Buddha to you?”</p>
<p>And just about anything else my APUSH teacher says. It ranges from “Well that’s a dumb thing to say” to “What the **** are you smoking? The fact that you are a teacher implies that the school is criminally negligent”</p>
<p>Teacher: (pointing to a stain on his screen) If you’re wondering what that stain is, it’s from when a student threw a grape at the projector screen.
Kid: Why did he do that? That’s such a waste of a lunch.
Teacher: Who said it was a boy?
Kid: Don’t be silly. A girl would never be able to throw that far.
Teacher: Oh yeah, that’s right. The most a girl can do is take food and THROW IT IN THE PAN.</p>
<p>Physics Teacher: “Imagine yourself high on cocaine laced with a little ecstacy but with the laid backness of weed.” Class becomes very confused. “****, I forget this isn’t the 80s”</p>