<p>My Ds are best friends to one another but I have so much enjoyed these high school years where they have become like girl friends as much as daughters to me. I really believe that you can have it both ways. You are always the mom but sharing the sense of humor the laughter and the experiences gives you that "girlfriends" feeling. I get where the OP is coming from. When mine leave in 09 I will be outnumbered. I wonder what I will do without the estrogen ;) I have told my DH that I will be bringing home a female Boxer puppy and I know my girl friends...who will be becoming empty nesters at the same time will become that much more important.</p>
<p>historymom, only have one D but understand. DD and I share a lot of things like theater and shopping and music. I miss her when she is gone. DH is not fond of those. When she is gone I am outnumbered, DH, S3 is still home,and even the dog is a guy.</p>
<p>volunteer at a boys and girls club</p>
<p>OP my D is my best friend and when she went to college it was really hard. She knew it and we had little rituals to help make it easier, like watching chic flicks together when she came home. She is going to be a senior this year and I am so proud of her. We are still very close and I have enjoyed watching her grow into a young woman. I can relate to the separation from hs friend and ex's, but you are just there to parallel her and be there while she grows and changes and friendships grow and change. New wonderful relationships are in her future, but you will always be MOM! Hang in there and enjoy the planning for college with her.</p>
<p>I'm beginning to feel that empty nest syndrome too. I will be alone in the house when the child goes almost 3k miles away to school. I have good friends and a good job here, too. I'm almost tempted to move the the state where my child is going, I have a mobile type job and can go anywhere. But I would not live in the same city. This would at least gain me instate tuition after a year or so, so there would be benefits to doing so. To top it off, I get along with, but don't have such a close relationship with this child as I do my other child who went to college and moved out 5 years ago and hasn't been back. Am I being crazy? I'm thinking about renting out my house here and going there. It's sort of a quasi money thing too, instate tuition and medical benefits in that state.</p>
<p>I can relate. I'm a single mother with one child, a girl, and we have always been very close. When the college acceptances came in, it really hit me how sad I was, and I realized that I needed to prepare for it. Here's what I'm doing that seems to be helping. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>I'm a writer and I work at home. Suddenly it occured to me that I was going to have to get a part time job in addition (my writing work is cyclical), just be be out of the house and not be floundering around missing her all of the time. I was planning to do it in September, but I just got one, sort of by accident, and it's nice to have it now. It gives me something else to think about and a way to be out in the world. </p></li>
<li><p>I have plans for visiting her. When we went for the tour, I really liked the hotel we stayed in. (I could LIVE in that hotel it was so nice!) I feel happy in the area. So I plan -- for myself more than for her -- visiting her, even once a month if I need to, just to say hi and have lunch or walk around, no big expectations, just to get my "fix" of being her mom. Having this plan has been really helpful for me.</p></li>
<li><p>I am trying to acknowledge what an enormous event this is in my life and give myself permission to go through that transition. To let myself have my feelings, but also to prepare myself emotionally as best I can. I've been a mom at home for her whole life and I've put so much of myself into it. Sometimes I feel that my heart is going to be ripped out of my chest by this! When I acknowledge the immensity of this transition, and accept it, I have an easier time with it. At the same time, I am trying to keep in mind that this new road for me is going to have many opportunities and possibilities. (lol -- easier said than done!) </p></li>
<li><p>I have heard of women who start empty-nest support groups, and I haven't ruled that out!</p></li>
</ol>
<p>(Sorry in advance if any typos - don't have time to edit!)</p>
<p>I'm also about to send a child off to college. She's my third and youngest. Nineteen years ago, when my olderst daughter left, I came up with a gift idea that helped both of us through emotionally. I wrote a short article about it that I've gotten lots of nice feedback on. If you'd like to read it, click on this link: [url=<a href="http://www.helium.com/items/1032900-third-youngest-child-about%5DReflections:">http://www.helium.com/items/1032900-third-youngest-child-about]Reflections:</a> The last step before the empty nest - Teen Challenges - Helium - by Lois Lawrence<a href="or%20copy%20and%20paste%20it%20to%20your%20search%20box">/url</a></p>
<p>Wish I were in your shoes. At the rate we are going here, the nest is never going to be empty. We seem to be adding. I feel like I'm the one who is going to fly the coop sometimes. Missing kids when they are out doing their thing and are doing well is such a luxury.</p>
<p>nice article. All the best to your daughter at NYU. My son just completed his freshman year there and he loves the school and the city.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Wish I were in your shoes. At the rate we are going here, the nest is never going to be empty. We seem to be adding. I feel like I'm the one who is going to fly the coop sometimes. Missing kids when they are out doing their thing and are doing well is such a luxury.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I agree with cptofthehouse. I actually did fly the coup in the beginning of the year - went traveling for 2.5 months. I didn't want to come home either !</p>
<p>Now I am dreaming of a travel brochure I came across - cruise around the world in 183 days. Sigh.</p>
<p>I'm about to send my youngest child off to college, too. However, this summer he is home, as is S1, about to be a senior in college. Knowing that this is S1's last summer at home and S2's last summer before college makes it particularly a bittersweet time. H and I are appreciating our time with them so much. D1, our oldest, moved to Germany with her soldier husband this year, so that's not making it any easier.</p>
<p>I've been doing some things in preparation for the upcoming empty nest year. Last year I started attending a ladies' Bible study group at my church. I had not had time to do that before S2 got his license. This coming year I plan to teach a chemistry class once a week for home schooled students. I made friends with a young mom from my church who needs a break with her 2 year old and infant, so they come over to my house one afternoon a week and we visit. I kind of get to do the mom thing with her and even get to practice being a grandma! I have also been making a point to call old friends and make lunch plans every 2-3 weeks.</p>
<p>I would like to do the Martha Stewart thing, too, but frankly my history is of having big plans but little follow through, so we'll see about that.</p>
<p>I do think we have to be proactive in coming up with new interests for ourselves during this time. Otherwise it is too easy to just be sad.</p>
<p>OP, also remember that this empty nest time often comes at the same time as pre-menopause. This can really add to the emotional difficulty. If, after your D has been gone a month or so, you find that you are crying every day, you should really talk to your dr. about that.</p>
<p>I envy those of you with more communicative S & Ds. S1 just left in Jan. for grad school after staying home for undergrad + 1 yr. S2 will leave in Aug. It's hitting me all at once. Fortunately, I have a job that keeps me busy & H & I take ballroom dance lessons twice a month. I think we'll switch to weekly for a while in the fall, and I'm lobbying for another dog. </p>
<p>Some other ideas if your local college or comm. college has extension courses, try something you've never done before--cake decorating, digital photography, ballroom dancing, martial arts, etc. Another possibility would be tutoring in a local literacy program. </p>
<p>Keep the good ideas coming.</p>