So, I know for a fact I’ve had only one good roommate in my three years here, and this one is the cherry on top.
When we first moved in everything was fine, we were all clean, and very respectful. But on roommate decided to have her boyfriend move in, and its been downhill since then.
Now she’s gotten incredibly messy, to the point where if I walk around the living room/kitchen for a couple minutes, my feet end up black with dirt. I brought this up and she basically told me, how dare I assume that the other roommates are the problem when it could’ve been maintenance. Like? We know when maintenance is in, they email us that they’re going in?! I had vacuumed and scrubbed all our floors before we left for spring break, they stayed an extra 3 days, and suddenly the floor is filthy. But me letting them know is wrong? I asked them nicely if they could do more to help clean, to which the one roommate once again said, how dare I assume she doesn’t, but then turned around and in the same sentence says she doesn’t vacuum. ‘I always wash my dishes!!!’ I didn’t say they weren’t washed? I said the floors are dirty???
Aside from that nonsense I asked that her boyfriend not live here, she didn’t like that one bit. Even if he was the perfect roommate, its still weird when I signed a lease with two girls, no guys? I wasn’t asked? And it violates our complex’s lease! But just because she pays rent ‘he will stay if I damn well please it.’ I pay rent too! And I didn’t even say he was bad either, hell I said he’s more than welcome to visit, but he shouldn’t live here.
I’ve been nothing but nice and accommodating, I let them have fresh cookies I bake, I never ask to use their stuff (they constantly ask for mine). But somehow I’m the bad guy for letting them walk all over me and basically treat me as a maid.
Nope, that sounds bad. Not sure what to do about it though – how much are you willing to shake things up with them? If it’s not a lot, buy a Swiffer and start using it on those disgusting floors (how do they even get that dirty??) or tell your landlord that there’s someone else (the boyfriend) living there. There’s been other threads about unwanted boyfriends that might give you some advice.
Stop giving them your stuff and cookies. What about the other girl you’re rooming with? Can you get her on your side?
You/your roommates signed a lease. The boyfriend did not. It does not matter if the roommate wants him there…there is no landlord that will let extra people live there for free.
Let the college/landlord know he is living there and you don’t agree to it.
Tell your roommate: Look, you and I signed a lease and boyfriend did not. It doesn’t matter whether or not you want him there, it is up to the college/landlord. IF you want him to stay, then you all need to step up. That means keeping the floors clean and stop asking to use my stuff.
OP wrote: “But somehow I’m the bad guy for letting them walk all over me and basically let them treat me as a maid.”
OP also wrote: “I know for a fact that I have had only one good roommate in my three years here…”.
You can ask the landlord for advice since the boyfriend is not on the lease.
I recommend against confronting your roommate as neither of you handles that well. Plus, there are always at least two sides to every story. Maybe your roommates view you as a neat freak who is obsessed with cleaning. Regardless, the reality of the situation is that the boyfriend is not on the lease so you should not have to tolerate his presence as if he is on the lease.
“But somehow I’m the bad guy for letting them walk all over me and basically treat me as a maid.”
They treat you this way because you allow it. An extra body who is 1) not paying additional rent, so not giving any of you a break on your rent, 2) taking up space in what may already be a cramped (I’m guessing) living space, and 3) somehow influencing your roommate to forget respect, manners, cleanliness and general good roommate conduct, should not be allowed to live there. You can take the tack of threatening to inform housing/the landlord of the situation unless they clean up their act with regard to problem 3), but you still have problem 1) and 2). Having observed my D go through 2 years of less-than-ideal living arrangements and having now landed in a place and with people who are nice and decent, I can tell you that a crappy living situation will color your entire college experience. It makes learning more difficult, adulting more difficult, and is just not fun.
Yeah so I asked her about her boyfriend and she said she didn’t see the need to tell me about him living here because she didn’t see him as living there. He stays there in his off time and sleeps here, along with taking up fridge space and using our stuff. I had to point out that it is against our lease to do that for her to even think for a second about why she just might be in the wrong.
The best part had to be talking about the cleaning, I asked them why they don’t vacuum the living room, I leave a vacuum out for all of us to use.
“It’s too heavy and we aren’t strong enough to push it.”
I don’t know if they heard themselves or not but just wow.
Eventually I got one to admit that yes, she’s been lazy about cleaning (our first semester together was fine), but somehow I still got the rebuttal of me being rude.
I’m done being nice at this point and I’m doing my best to move tf out.
OP - lol that has to be the LAMEST of excuses about why vacuuming is not happening. The boyfriend is living there - other than being on the lease and paying rent, he’s doing everything you do when you live somewhere! Yes, please get yourself out of there if you can.