Happykid had many non-traditional age friends at her CC and at the state U where she transferred. Part of that is just the nature of CCs and big state Us. Part of it may be her department (theater) that attracts a fair number of career-changers. It would never have occurred to me to question any housemate/neighbor of hers who was a bit older. But I’m kind of oblivious that way. I can however entirely understand that some of the helicopter-type parents might be freaked out by any housemate/neighbor who wasn’t a typical age student - those parents are freaked out by everything.
If you are renting in an apartment building, a private single apartment, and they are discriminating based on age, you have a right to file a complaint. If is is a university owned building, they have a right to set rules.
I am one of those awful parents who don’t want 40 year old men living in a dorm with 17 year old children. Sculptured ad could send his 12 year old to college if he wanted, and I do not think you should be living in the dorm room next to you.
I lived in a sorority house at one campus that was renting rooms (shared) to non-members as the school was out of dorm rooms. I had just turned 18 and had two grad students as roommates. One was very nice but we didn’t have much in common because of the age difference. The other was about the same age, say 24, and she seemed like she was 100. Just a strange person. Well, a dorm room opened up and the strange one took it. A week or so later a freshman showed up to ask us about this woman who had been assigned to her room. I felt so sorry for her having to share with this grad student who was just strange.
Sorry OP, I think people DO have a right to question university housing assignments. If it is a private apartment and you aren’t sharing, then regular housing laws apply.
Topolover, next time you start a post, you should start at the beginning of the story. You jump into the middle of the story and don’t indicate the actual chain of events.
Perhaps you could describe these encounters in more detail, since some of us are still having trouble understanding how it is that other parents came to experience this apparent level of concern about you. How does an encounter rise to the level that you would report it to Student Life, exactly? One day, you were standing in the cafeteria…and…?
Start. At. The. Beginning. Dear god.
@Topolover , Good luck. I am outta here.
I went to a large directional State U here in FL when I was 40 years old. I was pursuing a second BA in Music Education. I did not live on campus, or near campus. I lived with my husband and kids about 35 miles from campus.
I cannot understand the issue regarding off campus housing. Where I went to school the U is located in a suburban area. There are many apartment complexes near the campus and they are filled with students and non students alike. Parents certainly have no say in who rents apartment 4C just because their kid is a student. I don’t understand the problem for the OP.
People over 30 are common on college campuses. Most of the employees areover 30. How would someone on campus be able to tell the difference between a 40 year old working in the music department office and a 40 year old student? College is school for ADULTS not children. Parents-stop freaking out there are lots of 40 year olds on college campuses.
As an older student I had no problem finding friends. I am still friends with a few of my classmates. Two just had babies.
One question I have for the OP is whether he is acting in some way that raises suspicion. Otherwise, I don’t see how anyone would know he is a student or think his presence on campus is odd. Where I went to school there were plenty of older folks on campus. Most were faculty/staff but the mere presence of an older person shouldn’t make anyone suspicious.
So-OP why were people suspicious of you?
Proudpatriot, the college I am going to is a two year college, and to the best of my knowledge the percentage of non-trads over the age of 30 is in the single digits.
If I am, or was, acting a way that aroused suspicion, then I imagine someone would have told me. Because really, I have no idea.
Topolover, someone pointed me to a past post of yours in which you reacted angrily to a school asking for your SSN. Instead of giving it to them with a cheerful smile, you made life difficult for the poor admin whose job it was to collect it. Several posters urged you just to give it and you were very recalcitrant, believing there to be religious implications of having a SSN. If you generally act the same way you did back then, that may arouse suspicion. However, maybe that chapter in your life where you were reacting so strongly to a banal admin request has come and gone, in which case I apologize.
@Topolover -How would anyone know you are a student? Presumably there are older people who work on the campus and it is impossible to tell if someone is a student or employee.
Pizzagirl, you are correct. I have then and still do now refuse to give my SSN to those that have no need for it. Admissions does not need it nor did they ever need it. Financial Aid, yes. FAFSA, yes. Anythng else, no way.
Think of it like this- if the school feels the need to lie to obtain it, exactly what do they plan on doing with it? Who is really going to get it? Because if they are in fact obeyong the law, there is no need to lie…
Just a bit to think on.
As for with the school I’m in now, they have been very respectful of the SSN issue. Heck, check out all of my threads. Posts as well, if you want.
Proudpatriot, I cannot understand anything about those that have confronted me in the past. I really don’t. I have spoken with Student Life about this as well as Disabled Student Services, and faculty has talked with severall of the parents, and so far the two biggest reasons is “they’re just curious” and “they’re helicopter parents”.
I have to back track a little bit. I am open and friendly (believe it or not), and I do not hold back that I am a student.
I don’t know about you guys, but again check out my threads. I have been searching for YEARS for a college that accepts me as a student. Yes I have impairments. Yes I am very anally retentive about private sections of my life. But in this case I found a school that knows what their limits are. That is important. Past schools, some wanted my medical records. Not a letter from my doctor for any accommodations my impairments may need, but the actual records. My comment to the schools? I can’t print it here because of the no swearing rule. Colleges that ignore state and federal laws for their own personal gain? Same thing. This school, they are popular. They have recieved awards out the wazoo for the quality of schooling and students. The other schools, they have no such award history.
It’s still a mystery how these other parents have come to be so concerned about you, personally.
I, myself, am an adjunct. But I am also now taking some classes, so I am also a student. I don’t live in the dorms or “hang” with the other students. I will chat with them in the halls or before class to see how they are doing, but I’m not one of them. Never have I even met any of their parents, let alone had them express concerns about my status as a “non-traditional student”. I take some classes, that’s it. And I can’t imagine any of them being concerned about that. In addition, I was a student in my 30’s, in my 40’s, and by the time I finished my PhD, in my 50’s. Since this was never really an issue with the PARENTS of other students (or the other students for that matter), I am still failing (not alone here) to see how that has become an issue in your case.
If you are attracting attention from concerned parents, there is a reason.
As a member of the, albeit adjunct, faculty, I cannot imagine this scenario ever playing out. How does that go? “Hey, Dr. Sylvan, some parents of random students were here today and said some negative things to student “Topo”. Can you give them a ring and get the lowdown on this situation? Maybe tell them to shut their traps or something? Because that’s what faculty do in their spare times…”
I can’t imagine this scenerio either. First…how would anyone know who these parents actually were! Secondly, as a parent, I visited maybe for an evening or a day, but I didn’t exactly hang around. In addition, I never stayed on campus. I fail to see how anyone from the school would have been blue to contact me…at all.
I guess there is nothing more I can say. I cannot explain it enough for people to understand. 
Next time, I will try to document the encounter a bit more. I don’t know what else to do.
@Tropolover , I don’t see why you need to be understood in this forum the way you want to be. Not at all. How about moving on with your college life that you have worked hard to get, and focus building relationship with your professors and classmates?
I understood that you were living alone.
It does baffle me that you’re drawing all this attention to yourself. I lived with a roommate (4 of us, one apartment) who I later found out was about 10 years older than us (in his 30s). He was a complete jerk but that was completely unrelated to his age. The only reason I even found out was because we were talking about where we were when 9/11 happened. I can’t imagine a scenario where my parents found out how old he was.
Like sylvan, I am absolutely baffled by this. Why would DSS be involved in this? Even if you have disabilities, why would they be talking to any parents?
Faculty has no idea what is going on in housing nor do they care. If I had a parent ask me about someone in their child’s housing, I’d first be highly confused and then end the conversation because it has nothing to do with me.
One case that I remember well was lunch time at “The Den” (college deli/cafe). See a girl I go to class with, we exchange pleasantries, she introduces me to her parents who are there with her in a booth and I’m in the booth behind them. Mother tells how much she admires someone my age going for college, then asks me if it’s proper that I attend “that” college because of the high number of youth, with me being so much older.
Kasey tells her mom to leave me alone, and her mom WILL NOT shut up about it. After 10-15 minutes of that garbage from her mother I picked up my lunch, tossed it in the garbage and went to Student Life. My Guidance Counselor with Student Life talked with her, and he said she was only expressing her curiosity. But he also told me that he understands where I’m coming from as she could have asked, and then just shut up when she got no answer. That was in first week of Sept., IIRC.
As for housing, I have one interview with an apartment manager recorded, and the manager was telling me that even if I have my own apartment the parents of the neighboring students have the right to know who I am because of my age. Sadly, in Utah it is legal to discriminate based on age, though on a Federal level it is illegal.
I know these events have happened, but man I have to dig hard in my brain for the details. It bugs me, I want it to stop, but thankfully the last emester it only happened once. Hopefully this next semster it won’t happen again. And that starts this coming Wednesday.
I’m sorry…but even IN the story above, the college would NOT contact this other student’s mother. They just wouldn’t.
Does your college have some counseling services? Perhaps you can resolve this via some counseling sessions. In my opinion, you need to deal with yourself, and your feelings. A counselor will help you.
Do you graduate in May?