<p>The threads that interest me the most are the ones that reveal the child or parents motivation to apply to a particular boarding school. Im curious about the extent to which the kids choices are circumscribed/influenced/channeled by the parents. On a scale of 1 10 (1 = kid makes entire decision from start to finish to 10 = parents tell the kid what school or schools they are allowed to apply to), where and how do kids and parents rate their experience?</p>
<p>Ill start out (and hope that others follow):</p>
<ul>
<li>Parent started out as a 7-8, ended up as a 2.</li>
</ul>
<p>I was taken aback when we visited Exeter, our first stop, and after the tour my son said, Dad, you might think this is the best place, but I dont want to go here. Well, I said, at least go through the interview process. No, he said it would be a waste; I dont like it at all. That night, he was back on the computer reexamining the schools we had planned to visit. </p>
<p>He ended up at a School I had never even considered, but turned out to be the exact right place for him. The selection process turned into a huge learning experience for all of us, especially around my increased respect for his decision-making process. What were your experiences in this regard?</p>
<p>The only decisions my mom made/influenced was based on money/financial aid. I chose which schools to apply to and where I would attend. I’m really grateful my mom let me do that!</p>
<p>My husbands favorite school was one my son would never consider. We ended up letting him do the choosing but we did provide guidance. Ultimately if the child does not buy in, what will they really get out of it?
So child 2</p>
<p>It is a tricky question to us. Child was interested in the boarding school idea but was very “inclusive”. When parents could find some negatives during the school visits child always emphasized the positives. It wasn’t hard at all to come up with a list of schools to apply to as he thought most of them were “great schools and I’d be lucky to get in any one of them”. So I guess our number is 5?</p>
<p>Hard to quantify- I ordered the info on schools - son wanted schools to be within 1 hr of home and we agreed so that narrowed list quite a bit off the bat. When all of it came in I read it all and talked to son about some of the strengths of certain schools, then he read all the viewbooks and the websites and picked the ones to which he wanted to apply. We would have had SPS, Brooks and Cushing on the list but he wasn’t interest in them for some reason . He chose: A, E, MX, NMH. However, he never interviewed at NMH because he changed his mind as time went on- I think it was the farm program- not his cup of tea. (D would LOVE that about NMH btw) So ended up with a very short, high reach list of E,A and MX. His involvement increased as the process continued which seems to be a very common theme so far.</p>
<p>My mom talked to her friend and they came up with a list. I had basically no part until I decided I wanted to apply to Andover. So at the end it was all me and in the beginning all my parents. They are really excited about Andover now.</p>
<p>Definitely a 1. I didn’t even know my daughter wanted to attend a boarding school until she asked if she could apply for 11th grade. She did all of the research ahead of time and had a list of schools based on her primary academic interests (in particular, post-BC Calculus offerings). She made the calls to set up interviews and inquire about available aid. It was her decision to attend Andover. Our role was to take her for campus visits and give final approval that we could swing the finances.</p>
<p>My parents really picked out the BS idea and choose the school they though would fit me the best, and they were right! I applied to every one and ultimately am going to one. But during the application process, I definitely did my share of research and input.</p>
<p>(Note that I didn’t apply this year due to deadlines, so I haven’t gone through the entire process. Nonetheless, I did a lot of research and planning.)</p>
<p>I came up with the idea, I researched all schools, compiled lists, requested information, set visit dates (although none of them came true…), registered for the SSAT, etc.</p>
<p>My parents will be the ones driving me around and giving financial support, though.</p>
<p>1 the entire time… I drove up over 26 hours in a rental to interview in a three day span. I wrote all of my essays and did everything. I did an alumni interview by skipping lunch at my school.</p>
<p>Our son took the initiative to research schools and identify several of potential interest. We suggested a few schools, some of which he considered, others he didn’t. </p>
<p>As parents we left the responsibility of requesting the application materials, coordinating recommendations and transcripts, scheduling interviews, etceteras, completely up to him. Our logic was that if he wasn’t able to manage the application process on his own, then he wasn’t ready for boarding school. He did a good job, although he could’ve managed his time better because he waited until the week of January 15 to finalize all the apps. The week of January 15 also happened to coincide with exam week at his school, so I think he regretted not being more focused and completing the apps during Christmas break. He was a busy boy. Live and learn.</p>
<p>Our original expectation was that he would attend one of the New England schools with which we were familiar. He was keen on Cate from the beginning, but we didn’t know much about it, so it was placed on the list of schools to visit. He ultimately chose between a HADES school, a MAPL school and Cate. The decision was his. We thought any of the final 3 schools would’ve been great, but his heart was set on Cate. In the end, we all agreed as a family that it was the best school for him.</p>
<p>I’m a student and I would say 0-1. My parents were so against boarding school last year. They couldn’t imagine sending their child away before college. I layed off talking about it for a little under a year until I realized it was what I truly wanted, so I began researching. I knew what I needed in a school; something that my family and I could both be proud of. I filled out inquiry forms for many different schools on my own. Then found a perfect school but it was very competitive. I even printed off information about boarding schools and why they are a good thing, so my mom finally started to warm up to the idea. I began writing my essays, but my mom did help me set up my interview because she had to let them know I wasn’t going to be able to visit the school, so we needed to figure out an alternative way to interview. But my mom didn’t even think I would get in after seeing my SSAT scores, so she just let me apply and didn’t think much of it, although she supported me every step of the way along with my dad who was a still upset about the idea of his child leaving… So yeah, I think kids know what they want and know what is best for them.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that this forum will not be a good sample group as parents use the internet differently in researching schools than do students. A parent who is heavily involved will be less likely to be on this forum, while a student is likely to be.</p>