<p>Many pf my threads here on CC are about my mother.</p>
<p>And this is one of those threads. </p>
<p>My mother seems to constantly changing her mind. She said that I could apply to Hotchkiss and St. Paul's but now she is not allowing me and says that I can only apply to Andover and Lawrenceville. She says I have a "horrible attitude" but all I did was simply ask her and now she starts yelling at me when all I asked is "why can't I apply?". She screams about how I "make people unhappy." I am completely lost. She keeps on saying that I can't get accepted because of my attitude when honestly I have no clue what I have done wrong. I can not even ask her because I will probably end up getting hit or something.</p>
<p>I've pretty much had it with her. She keeps on changing her mind and then when I am practically begging her to let my apply to more schools she gets very angry and starts scolding me on how the applications are so expensive and that I will not even get accepted into any of the boarding schools I apply to. </p>
<p>I sound like such a whiner but I am being 100% honest. I have no idea what to do because my mother is very bipolar and is always changing her moods. All I can do to help me feel better is write depressing poetry.</p>
<p>Other parents of the boarding school realm. Please help?</p>
<p>You do sound like a whiner, be an adult please. Rationalize with your mother and prove to her that she keeps “changing her mind”. Apply to the ones she lets you, honestly you’ll be fine, and you can blame her if things don’t work out.</p>
<p>Really, smarty99? Why should she “be an adult” ? That is a bit harsh…</p>
<p>Rareparadox: would your mother respond to a well thought out, carefully written letter from you? In it you could explain why you want the chance to apply to the other 2 schools. If the application fee is the issue, offer to work it off or something… Might show her you are serious about going. I am also guessing she has mixed feelings about “losing you”… So maybe take that into account? Good luck to you… I hope it all works out.</p>
<p>Smarty, that was unkind. Rare, you need to find an adult you can talk to, a teacher maybe, or church leader, or a counselor of some kind. CC is probably not the best place for finding the type of guidance you need. Good luck to you!</p>
<p>Agree with ThacherParent. Find an adult you trust–I’d just add relative to the list. I have a friend whose parent sounded very similar to yours who was able to appeal to her grandparent–the only person who could successfully overrule her parent.</p>
<p>Try to talk this out with your father. I am sorry to hear that you are stressed again. I hope it is not going to influence you for application prep.</p>
<p>Thank you for the support everyone. Our relationship is quite rocky. </p>
<p>Smarty makes a point I am whining and should not be. I am lucky enough to be allowed to apply to any at all. But Smarty, I am only 13 years old what do you expect from a teenager? You should really not tell me to “be an adult.” because I’m not. Why should I be something I am not? It makes no sense.</p>
<p>What are her reasons? Do you think if you asked her to give her reasons for letting you apply to <em>those</em> particular schools but not others, she would tell you? Is money so tight that she truly can’t afford the application fees for more schools? </p>
<p>I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It would frustrate me, too, if I were you. </p>
<p>You just must get a dialogue going with her somehow, even if it means asking another person to step in and mediate. If your mom is wishy-washy about your applying to boarding school, that may come across during the interviews (when the admissions officer talks to her). The two of you need to be working together. </p>
<p>I hope the two of you get this resolved soon! Best of luck to you!!</p>
<p>BSBound,</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your helpful advice!
Yes, I am quite worried about the parent-interview. I fear that she may say something like “I want her to go so she can go to a good university.”</p>
<p>@rareparadox,</p>
<p>I think parent can say so. After all, it is one of the many reasons (or primary reason in some cases) for sending children to an expensive boarding school. Admission people know that, too. </p>
<p>Of course it may not be most desirable for your parent to say, “We don’t care whatever education she will get here as long as she goes to a HYPSM.” And I am sure your parents will not deliver the message that way. So, don’t worry too much about it. They are adults.</p>
<p>And there is you. Show them that besides wanting to go to a good college, you have passion and desire to become a valuable asset to the school community. Let us know how the interview with Andover went!</p>
<p>I would second Thatchers advice in post #4. If your mother is in fact bipolar, then this just may be a situation that you cannot successfully handle on your own. You will need the support of another adult. Perhaps a family member or someone else in your life that you can confide in and trust.</p>
<p>If your mom is indeed struggling with mental illness of some sort, you are really in over your head with this. I agree with other posters that you should try to enlist your dad’s help or that of another trusted adult. Going to boarding school, in that event, is a very, very good idea. A little distance from a toxic, chaotic household can do you a lot of good, but you’re going to have it rougher than most because you won’t have the kind of support system at home that you may need. When you get to boarding school, I suggest that you quickly build relationships with your advisor, dorm parents, and the counseling staff to help you navigate the ups and downs with your mom.</p>