<p>Has anyone experienced this with siblings? My younger son wants to apply where his brother is and I am so worried that he won't get in. Has anyone experienced this before?</p>
<p>Just last year, in fact! My older son just graduated from Stanford this past June. His younger brother applied last year to Stanford, among other colleges. He really wanted to show big brother that he could get in, too. Well, little brother isn't the reader that big brother is, and his Verbal SAT, Writing SAT II, and such were not that great, even though his application was terrific in other areas. Little brother was waitlisted at Stanford.</p>
<p>The good thing is that, during the time between application and waitlist notice, little brother came to realize that his true passion was music, and that Stanford did not really have the program in music that he needed. And he WAS accepted into a couple good music schools. So that waitlist notice didn't bother him, after all. (However, I think a total rejection might have bugged him a bit, even though he would have realized it didn't really matter.)</p>
<p>Sibling rivalry can be tough at times. I would just make sure little brother applies at several colleges that are really good in what he needs in a college, so that he can have some great acceptances to cheer him up, should he be rejected at big brother's school. Good luck!</p>
<p>He can't get in unless he applies.</p>
<p>The world won't come to an end if he doesn't get in -- I'm sure he knows how his stats compare with his brother's, and he knows it is a competitive process. But the only way to find out is for him to apply.</p>
<p>I applied ED to the school my elder sister was at and got rejected. Was pretty bummed for a day but got better soon after, and now I love the school I ended up going to.</p>
<p>It has happened in my family and lots of others that I know of. You just move on.</p>
<p>frecklybeckly, who posts here from time to time, experienced this as a twin last year. She ended up so happy at a different "lesser" school than her twin brother. Of course, the school isn't "lesser" at all, but he was accepted at HYPSM and she wasn't.</p>
<p>I have the opposite problem. My son, two years younger than my senior daughter, has better grades than my daughter, and has just done much better on the PSATs as a sophomore than she did as a junior. It is obvious that he will be able to consider many schools that she may have liked but realistically wouldn't have had a shot at, and I worry a bit about what her reaction will be when he starts looking at those kinds of schools.</p>
<p>mich - going thru that now, but one good thing 2nd child did much better on the SAT - way above 1600 LOL! luckily, each kid has applied to different schools as well & things tend to work out for the best!!! also, each year is a different competition so they're not really competing against each other as young freckly did!</p>
<p>I remember when a friend's son applied to UVA, where his dad was an alum and sister a senior. He did not get in. The day of the rejection letter, he disappeared for hours, and no one could get a clue where he had gone. In fact, he had driven three hours to UVA to talk to his sister, who comforted him greatly. He ended up going to a wonderful 2nd tier Virginia school where he excelled beyond anyone's dreams, and he now has a really cool job in broadcasting in the DC area!</p>
<p>So, what looks bad can turn out to be fabulous!</p>
<p>It happened here last spring with FrecklyBeckly, whose twin brother got into a variety of Ivies that she was rejected from. She ended up going to her safety, Michigan, and having a wonderful time including getting a leading role in a musical. Use the search function to read her posts, which will show her saga, disappointment and eventual exhilaration.</p>
<p>Carolyn, I hate to say it, but in hindsight I kind of wish that my son hadn't had the National-Merit qualifying PSAT & high SAT scores. It kind of put us into a rat race mode... he did ok with it, but it ratcheted up the stress level for the whole college application process, as well as leading his sister to pursue goals that are kind of out of synch with her relaxed learning style and more modest test scores. I look at how happy your daughter is with her choice of Beloit -- and as much as I hope that things will go well for your son, I think there is an advantage for a kid to be able to apply to the sorts of colleges that are included in Loren Pope's book, where a kid can look at their own stats and the range for the school and be reasonably certain of getting in, and to be happy to go there. Would your daughter really be happier if a test score made her covet all those colleges that admit 1/3 or less of their applicants? </p>
<p>So while I wish your son well... I hope that you won't lose your practical perspective and the wisdom you have shown in guiding your daughter. </p>
<p>Sorry, but right now my daughter is stressed to the max over one of her AP classes, stuck in senior year with a class that is killing her with the workload, but which she can't drop because of course the midyear report to colleges must be perfect. And I'm thinking what's the point? So that she can get into some college next year with a crushing workload? </p>
<p>I remember my rather relaxed college years at a UC campus where I never really had to work hard enough to break a sweat. The thing is, years later the classes I remember the most are the ones that I took for FUN -- I still can remember specific exercises or skits we did in my "dramatic art for non majors class"... I can remember all the movies I saw in my film classes.... but I have a hard time remembering any of the stuff in my hard academic classes. I remember the books I read for pleasure more than I remember the assigned literature. Everything I did in college that turned out to be worthwhile or of lasting import in my life was something I did for fun or did outside of class. </p>
<p>So I don't know.... I suppose if I had gone to a really demanding college I might feel that I had been superbly educated and be grateful fof the experience. But I did go to a really demanding, intense law school.... and I'm kind of glad that I had breathing room during my undergraduate years.</p>
<p>My younger brother went to a somewhat more demanding undergraduate college. He had 800 on his math SAT and was a National Merit finalist. He dropped out and has never completed his degree.</p>
<p>My D didn't get into Pomona last year but they did send a very personalized rejection letter saying something to the effect of I know this is especially difficult when you have family ties. I don't think she read beyond the first line however. In hindsight it has been better for her to have her own college experience. Her brother is extremely protective over the men she dates, worse then my H!</p>
<p>With 5 kiddos we have faced this plenty of times. But for the most part the children were interested in different schools for different reasons. Football player interested in aerospace isn't going to apply to schools without football and the kiddo requiring an accredited arch program with platforms/towers for diving aren't heading for the same schools. Another wanted animal science with an equine speciality, so we all moved for that one.</p>
<p>But I felt bad for the younger ones, cuz the older ones, lovely children that they are, decided if a school rejected them then the younger ones needn't apply to that particular school. So child #4, the senior now, in addition to his "college" list, had another list, the "cannot apply to list under penalty of 'booted out' of the family". Neat huh? He managed to stick to the list, even though I made the disclaimer that his sibs would never know. He swore they would find out and in a whisper pleaded with me to "not speak of it again". Boys. So his sis calls from training camp to make sure he is all done with apps, reviews them with him and double checks the "other" list. Guess his sis is just as bad as those boys!</p>
<p>I thought it would make life easier if at least two of them ended up attending the same school. I think they have their own private lists that exclude those other schools. As close as they are to each other, they each wanted some breathing room. They had classes together in high school, in addition to playing on the same teams, same clubs, ate lunch together, so for their college time they have each gone out and ventured on their own. They seem to be having a good time. I miss them terribly, but that is another thread.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>trying to steal a thought from an old string ... our job as parents is to help them as they choose their path (and succeed and fail along the way) to become a great version of the person they are meant to be. </p>
<p>For each of my 3 kids this will entail very different college searches each focussed on their unique attributes, needs, and interests. This probably will lead to very different lists of schools to which they apply .. and if there is overlap we will try to avoid any sibling comparisons and focus on each child.</p>
<p>My older kids seem to have a pretty good understanding of each others strengths and weaknesses (Mom and Dad don't raise these ... they do on their own) ... I'm hoping that will lend itself well to differing college admissions outcomes ("X" is better at math/science it makes sense they got into school Y).</p>
<p>We had this situation with my twins this year. One has had great grades throughout high school, is a hard worker, and has decent test scores. Her sister doesn't always work as hard and didn't do as well on standardized tests. It was clear from the start of the college search that they'd end up in different college tiers. Luckily, they really want to go to different schools so at least we didn't have to find one school to accommodate both. It was sometimes hard to talk about possible schools for D1 without D2 feeling inferior. I got good at saying, "Her schools aren't better, they're just more competitive to get into." </p>
<p>Fortunately, both girls found good schools that they are excited about. Once D2 found "her" school, which fits her to a T, she no longer felt competitive with D1.</p>
<p>Hey think of it this way: isn't it great that both/all my kids will have a chance to go to college?!!!</p>
<p>It wasn't too many decades ago that lots of families only sent the "best" or "the brightest" of their kids to college..or gasp...only the boys! Now there are many different edcuational paths kids can take after high school and families have more $ to be able to afford it.</p>
<p>We started worrying about this back when we were applying to private elementary school. My older son tests really well (not counting his recent PSAT lol), and was accepted to every school we applied to. My younger daughter does not test well (in fact, her claim to fame is getting a 54 on her first Latin test and a 97 on the final -- she has to fail every first test to build a wall for her to climb over). So we're always sweating whether she could get in where he did. But so far, so good. She's at the same elite prep school and doing very well (though still bombing all her first tests!) -- but when it comes to college I'm afraid her erratic testing will come back to haunt her. Fortunately, they have different aspirations so they may not be focusing on the same schools (she's math/science, he's history/Latin). All I can do is give them the same opportunities, after that it's up to them.</p>
<p>Carolyn -- Your daughter will have made her college "home" before your son starts his search. Some professor will have made her feel like a star, some college project will have turned out great, some travel or community service experience will have made her feel like she is achieving in the world. It will be all right. We too, have a daughter who never scored on tests the way her little brother did. She had other talents and achievements, just like your daughter. By the time her little brother's acceptances started rolling in, I heard her on the phone joking with her friends about his achievements, which was a way of sharing them and bragging about them while at the same time acknowledging that she and her brother are very different people.</p>
<p>My DD is very competitive with her older brother (although he's not paying any attention to her imagined competition). I was quite relieved when they scored exactly, down to the point, the same on their SAT's. They couldn't have done that if they tried! Now the only argument (from her side only) is which of their schools is "better", Georgetown or Vanderbilt. Does it ever end? Ha ha</p>
<p>When my daughter, a kid who always prided herself on her academic success, started to see little brother accomplish things she never did, it was tought at first. It was as if he was taking over an area that she thought would be hers alone. We were even able to talk about how hard it was to have a younger brother like him-- (he skipped so many years of math, he almost caught up with her, even tho they're 5 school years apart.) However, eventually, she just came to accept his strengths, while still taking pride in her own achievements. Now,we really get a kick out of hearing her brag to her friends about the things he's been up to.</p>