<p>Our local options are awful, so even with the down sides articulated here - it is worth it for us. That said, we are almost halfway through a dozen or so years of BS and college tuition for two kids and it does get VERY old having no money for anything but absolute basics on a healthy middle class salary. In those times when I see peer families plan nice vacations and new clothes, I have to remind myself that this is a priority and the alternative unacceptable.
Like any other long term commitment, be very sure (if you can).</p>
<p>It’s such an individual decision. One of the most eloquent portrayals of a family decision to take on the financial burden of a private education is The Gift of an Ordinary Day, by Katrina Kenison. They sold their house in the greater Boston area to move to New Hampshire. They rebuilt an old house. Their eldest son attended High Mowing School as a day student. They were not motivated by prestige, but by fit.</p>
<p>^ Tremendous respect for you wcmom. I have three kids, the last is now a college senior. It has meant a decade of struggle. We believe our kid’s education is our most important mission and everything else comes second, including our own needs. Boarding school (Thacher) was worth it. We’d do it again without hesitation.</p>
<p>Hang in there!</p>
<p>We are on the same road as wcmom, as was my family, growing up. Our neighbors would sniff and say, “we can’t afford to send OUR kid to some fancy private school.” Meanwhile my parents drove cars till the doors fell off (in one case, nearly literally), while these same neighbors would buy new cars, boats, and what-have-you, fairly regularly.</p>
<p>It truly is a matter of priorities. I also think that the “go big” concept is a bit… precious? While her on CC, many posters consider HADES to be the apotheosis of boarding schools, in the wider world, so very many of the schools tagged “hidden gem” or “second tier” (I loathe that phrase in this context) are so highly regarded as to make the distinction less, for practical purposes, than what it is in the fairly narrow vision of a fair number of posters to these boards.</p>
<p>There are schools with higher academic stats than some in HADES, but aren’t serendipitously blessed with a first initial that makes for a catchy acronym</p>
<p>^Yeah, I mean if you take some hidden gems…
Cate School
Episcopal High School
Loomis Chaffee
St. George’s School
Middlesex School
(St) Andrews School(DE)</p>
<p>The best thing I got out of that was CAMELS.</p>
<p>@spaceneedlesevie-- that was classic!</p>
<p>St. St. CAMELOT “for a truly Left/Right interview experience”</p>
<p>St. Andrew’s
St. George’s
Cate
Asheville
Middlesex
Episcopal High School
Loomis Chaffee
Oregon Episcopal School
Thacher</p>
<p>I don’t think it is any big surprise that there is a 20% accept rate at the top boarding schools. THey are by definition, selective. In order for anyone to have a better accept rate, schools that are not so selective should be on the list too. So it goes with independent day schools. We always hedged our bets with some schools that were sure to take our kids.</p>
<p>
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<p>That was the comment from @sharpener I was responding to. (And thanks for the support Parlabane 
).</p>
<p>I know she thought I was being condescending - but I’ve been on both sides - a student at the coveted top name school and a parent of a current student at a former hidden gem. And it is so important that parents go into this with eyes wide open and recognize - that even in the best thought out plans, it may turn out that the experience is not a good fit for a student no matter what school he/she lands in. Stuff that was not obvious at home may become glaring at the new school. A classic example are students who are at the top of the pile at home, but only need to open a book before a test to ace it, only to find out that’s a recipe for disaster at boarding school. Or homesickness - a few weeks at camp does nothing to prepare “some” students for a full on 24-7 life on a campus. Sometimes it’s too much diversity, the food, the environment - whatever.</p>
<p>But I still hold firm to my distaste for families who believe the answer lies only in the top feeding schools. In some cases, the same student would have fared better at a different school. Even the difference between Exeter and Andover in terms of location and campus attitude can be pretty stark no matter what the literature says.</p>
<p>So there you go. Some families bound to only go big, are going to be empty handed in March. Seems like a lot of essays and money to spend on what is essentially a lottery with high odds of being on the losing end. :(</p>
<p>Exie, you were one of the first posters to really shed some light on this topic for me. I have always appreciated what you’ve had to say & not because it was always what I wanted to hear. That might be something tough to swallow for many on these boards & I count myself among those, so I’m not pointing fingers, trust me.</p>
<p>It’s just that we are all pretty much here for the same reason so we should really try to give one another the benefit of the doubt & trust that we’re are all coming with the best of intentions and not a hidden agenda. We’re all trying to find the best fit for our kids because we want them to grow up to be happy, successful & productive in this world. In short, we want what’s best for them. And yes, to some degree, we all have different definitions of what “best” means but at the end of the day, don’t we all congregate here because we feel as though this common thread is what binds us? We may not be able to talk about these things w/ our own families, neighbors, best friends or other parents…but here, we know we can find someone who will listen & even give advice, if we need it. And for the most part, this comes without judgment about who we are, what kind of car we drive, what part of town we live in or the fear of being the topic of dinner party fodder after we’ve explained for the UPTEENTH time why we think this option suits our DC rather than the local high school. Well, that’s sure why I come anyway.</p>
<p>When I first found CC, I was blown away by the sheer volume of knowledge shared here & then even more blown away by the dedication of so many who continue to come back & help those of us beginning this journey, when boarding school is almost a memory for many of you or at least, will be very soon. So, why all the willingness to help? I think it stems from a very basic human urge to want to help others. That’s it. </p>
<p>I think one thing is clear: speaking online is NEVER the same as speaking in person & often times, a tone can be assigned to a post that was never truly there. Things can get taken out of context & many of us are already in pretty emotional states…due to the 1 hour of sleep we’re now getting, the idea that we’ll soon be liquidating everything from our 401K’s to our $40 sneakers & the thought of not having a vacation for another 4 years! We all can get snappy here but just like in real life, we need to say sorry when necessary & cut one another some slack. At the same time, I’ve seen trolls try to hijack these forums with reckless abandon & it’s obvious when they should be called out. </p>
<p>All I’m saying is that we should give others the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions about someone’s intent.
I never personally felt what Exie said was rude. I did see her trying to share what she’s learned as a way to try & prevent some possible heartbreak come M10. I didn’t get that when I first became a part of this community, but if you spend enough time here, you tend to notice who is on here to help & who isn’t. In my opinion, there’s no question that Exie is most certainly here to help.</p>
<p>^^^ what goforprep said </p>
<p>Exie rocks!</p>
<p>Goforprep, well said, on all counts. It is very difficult to read affect in a post, and many posters have been misinterpreted at one time or another, when they did not mean whatever it was they were accused of. </p>
<p>The vast majority of posters to these forums are here to help, or be helped, by their participation. And countless others who lurk do not post also benefit from the advice on the boards. One of the best things about the CC forums is that <em>in general</em> the discussions are kept quite civil, which also keeps the value of the information accessible If you’ve ever been on a forum where infighting or private jokes are the norm, you will appreciate the effort those on the CC forums make to keep posts accessible, even with the inevitable back-and-forth that can occur.</p>