<p>Nothing is ever black and white, but I think most people can agree in principle where the line between helping your student and doing things they are oblivious to or know nothing about. It’s also different if your student says “will you do such and such for me” at which point you can say “sure glad to” or “no, that’s something you should do yourself.” That relationship is not really an all or nothing proposition. The original thread is about monitoring e-mail boxes and in my opinion someone should…whether it’s the parent, or the student, or a combination of both doesn’t really matter and isn’t being a helicopter parent or enabling a student to shrug responsibility. It’s simply division of labor in a family.</p>
<p>There will always be blurry lines that divide what parents should do for their college-bound children and what they shouldn’t do. And certainly this may vary from child to child … sometimes even within the same family. However, I’ve always believed that “clerical support” is one area where Mom or Dad can be extremely helpful. Thus, insisting on a college-only email account and then monitoring that account can be very useful in some households and definitely doesn’t cross any ethical boundaries.</p>
<p>Sure, some purists will insist that, if Junior doesn’t figure out how to check his own email now and respond as required, what’s going to happen when he’s off on his own at college next year? But I feel that most parents would reply with a resounding, “Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it and get the kid to college first.”</p>
<p>Indeed, I’ve often found that students who need to be prodded all the way through the application maze usually do take the reins when they really need to. And the college admission process can be so nit-picky and can require levels of organization than many of us never encounter again in the decades to follow. So, at this stage of the game, it’s critical to make sure that emails from colleges are getting read, regardless of who is doing the reading.</p>
<p>Sally,
I agree with you. A year or two in the life of a teenager is a long time relative to their short life span and a lot of maturing occurs in each year or two span. Our 17 year olds are a lot more mature than they were at 15; at 18 or 19, they will have taken another leap in maturity. So helping a child with organization now does not mean they will not organize themselves a year or two from now.</p>
<p>S (junior) and I have come to an agreement that I will be his “admin asst” for the college process. I’ll keep track of deadlines, what needs to get sent when and such, and remind him, but he’s the one who needs to pull the trigger on things. We had a good conversation a few weeks ago about not wanting the search/application process to be an area of conflict, and agreed on roles now in hopes of avoiding that.</p>
<p>So for a first step, I set up a google docs spreadsheet for him with the schools that seem to be on his radar or that I think he should check out from reading here, and a list of information he needs to find (how many students, do they have his major, where does he fall with test scores, etc.), with a goal of getting to a list of places he wants to visit - which after all, does involve parents pretty heavily. We have to arrange family vacations and parent time off accordingly.</p>
<p>Would I love it if he’d do all this himself? Sure - but then he wouldn’t be who he is. He has many, many wonderful qualities - but managing details has <em>never</em> been and probably never will be one of them (he, ahem, takes after one of his parents). The main strategy we’re trying to instill in him on that front is “learn when, who and what to ask for help.” This is in keeping with that idea.</p>
<p>ye my counseler told me 2 get a new email addy for colloge</p>
<p>i said no</p>
<p>GreenWriter … did your counselor explain to you WHY you should change your address? (I just checked the address you used when you registered with CC. If that’s the same one you’re giving to colleges, I agree with the counselor.)</p>
<p>Another thing we did for my now freshman DS during the college process was get him a “smart phone” like a droid or blackberry during the college application process. Similar to when teens check their phones for text messages; it is very easy on those type of phones to check emails without having to log in. Plus having the email with him allowed him to fix things like requests for transcripts or letters since he could go to student services and tell them exactly where to send things. </p>
<p>It cost about $30 more a month to give him internet service etc on his phone but it was well worth it.</p>
<p>I find it a bit pointless to set up an email account just for the admissions officers. I cannot believe that an email address (which is not directly abusive or simply stupid) has any bearing on an admission decision; I think the admissions officers have enough other stuff to consider: essays, SAT I and SAT II scores, ACT scores, AP exam results, interviews, extracurriculars, recommendations, the subject of the recommendation teacher, financial background (except for that few dozen need blind schools), minority, high school grades, high school rank, maybe interest in school or even the home town/country of the applicant and tons of other stuff. While an email address like “ihateschool” is probably not the best idea, I think applicants know this (just as they don’t go to interviews wearing a “this college sucks” t-shirt…). Many things can influence the decision and we have control over many of them. But I think if you submit an application, nobody will care whether your email is “<a href=“mailto:faulkner@”>faulkner@</a>…” or “<a href=“mailto:spiderman@”>spiderman@</a>…”.
I don’t think high school seniors should shape their whole life for the sake of Mr/Mrs XY at their dream college. Just express yourself and do what you enjoy even if spiderman or xbox is the important thing for you.
Now, this post sounds kind of harsh and I understand that there are many counterarguments; I do see that in certain cases setting up a more professional email account could help the applicant.</p>
<p>Not to veer away from the topic, but it’s interesting to know that so many parents are so heavily involved in their children’s admission process (I am still yet to know what exactly a helicopter parent is and what his/her mentality is like).</p>
<p>Sorry for the digression.</p>
<p>^I find it interesting as well. My parents have basically left everything to me.</p>
<p>I used my personal email account, but that’s just my first and last name anyway. I use Microsoft Entourage, so I just keep my email up while I’m on the computer and it’ll update automatically so I see what comes in basically as it gets there. I have a folder labeled “College” where I put things like emails notifying me that they got my application, emails that contain a password to check my app status on the school’s site, etc. It’s all been working out well so far. The only problem is getting emails from colleges I’m not interested in that keep emailing me saying “Good news! We’ve EXTENDED the deadline for you to apply!” That’s getting annoying.</p>
<p>FYI: gmail addresses can add a + to tag emails</p>
<p>for example:</p>
<p><a href="mailto:someguy@gmail.com">someguy@gmail.com</a>
<a href="mailto:someguy+college@gmail.com">someguy+college@gmail.com</a></p>
<p>both of those will show up in the same gmail inbox (gmail will ignore the plus and afterwards) but you may use the “tag” afterwards to set up a filter: if addressed to +college, then send it to the college folder. </p>
<p>It’s what I did. It’s working beautifully.</p>
<p>e: and even if you choose not to set up that folder, there are still benefits. If colleges keep sending you stuff after you’re finished with the application process (accepted and everything), it’s extremely easy to just tell gmail to block emails sent to +college.</p>
<p>This the exact reason that I chose to continue using the e-mail address I’ve been using for 6 years of my life for college apps. It’s not professional, but it’s not unprofessional either, so I was fine with it.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This relates to another reason why a separate e-mail account for college and university applications is a good idea.</p>
<p>Spam usually happens because spammers found the e-mail address somewhere. This can happen if a website sells its e-mail address list. It can also happen because the e-mail address gets posted to the web in a place where anyone can see it.</p>
<p>Thus, a separate e-mail address used exclusively for college and university admissions is unlikely to be spammed. (Legitimate colleges and universities are unlikely to sell their e-mail list.) As a result, you can then completely turn off any spam filtering for that e-mail address. This way, that important e-mail message warning that a university never received your SAT scores won’t disappear into thin air.</p>
<p>Also, the bottom line is that as today’s high school students move into the adult world, they will probably have to start using standard e-mail. By and large, this is still how the business world communicates. Even for personal communication, e-mail will become more important. As teenagers move into the adult world, their circle of friends will start to include a wider range of ages. And many people older than Generation Y aren’t on Facebook and don’t use text messaging.</p>
<p>So maybe the e-mail account for admissions purposes shouldn’t be deleted once the student has sent in their deposit. Instead, this e-mail account could become the student’s point of contact for dealing with employers, business contacts, landlords and other important people you have to deal with as an adult. In fact, having such an e-mail account could become a rite of passage.</p>
<p>The viagra email has been going around and it has nothing to do with CB. I got it from my 84 yr. old FIL and a girl friend of mine who has no kids, and another person who has a 4th grader. It’s a virus which copies people address books. If you have an email account which is sending it out you need to change your password. </p>
<p>I told my son once, months ago, to check his junk mail folder for college stuff and to forward to me anything to do with financial aid/forms/deadlines which need our input. </p>
<p>Imo, he is old enough to handle stuff like this and more.</p>
<p>At my child’s school, all early decision emails went straight into the kids’ spam folders last year. Once word filtered through that some had heard from the colleges, the students who had used their school emails had to spend one excruciating weekend waiting because the spam folder was not accessible remotely.</p>
<p>Just a note to students leaving stuff to their parents:
I would recommend against this. Just remember that moms and dads have jobs too, and often times college websites can be convoluted and tricky. For example, one college I was applying to said the app was due jan 1st on one part of the site and dec 1st on another. If you do get mom and dads help,keep their log seperate from yours! completely! I cant stress this more; messed up two commonapp apps because I trusted mom to get the date (on the commonapp page) correct. Luckily, I did check all my other privates, but its a shame to see those essays go to waste because teachers didnt know reqs were due until a few days before.</p>
<p>I have a question: While offensive email names obviously aren’t good, are seemingly nonsensical/benign email names (for example, nubzorro) fine?</p>
<p>LOL, I thought my kids were the only ones who were email-averse. </p>
<p>My son uses a family account. The addy consists of his name, his brother’s name, and his dad’s name. I guess he should set up an account for himself alone, but then he would just have one more account to not check, LOL. </p>
<p>Oh well…sometimes I think we’ve done everything wrong…but then, he’s already been admitted to two colleges, so I guess we’re muddling through OK.</p>
<p>My daughter falls in the “hardly ever checks e-mail” group. The dedicated e-mail my daughter set up five years ago has been so handy. I check it for her about once a week and forward anything important to her college e-mail. That box gets filled up quickly, so she likes having a separate e-mail account. After she was finished with college admissions, she used it for FAFSA, internships, summer jobs, College Board, ETS (GREs) and online shopping!</p>
<p>this is why smartphones are so great. i never checked my email until i got my blackberry and now i check it just as often as my texts</p>