one of "those" threads

College Life
1

<p>i've been at college for a few weeks now. it's going pretty well, but i do have some social concerns. i've been going out on weekends and such with a group of seven or so girls from my building. out of the group, i only really "click" with two of them...the others, i like fine, but i can feel a sort of mutual non-kinship, mostly in that they don't text me when they're making plans. the other two do, and i consider them my really good friends...i measure this mostly by the fact that we have stuff to talk about when we're sober, not just when we're out, and that they seem to consider me a good friend as well. however, they're closer with the other girls than i am. </p>

<p>i'm also worried that i'm not branching out enough from our reshall. i know other people, but no one else i would really call a friend...not good enough, at least, to hang out with outside of class. i want to stay close with the two friends i've got in my dorm, but i don't want to be forced to hang out with the others all the time...also, i've been getting really tired going out three nights a week, and want to cut it down to one or two, but i'm afraid that then i'll just not be an integral part of the group at all. last week, we all said we'd stay in on saturday night, and then all but one went out and didn't tell us.</p>

<p>should i just tough it and make nice with the other girls, and force myself to go out as much as they do? i feel like it's too early to take the two real friendships i have for granted...and like if i'm not with them when they're being "social" on weekends, i might lose them and they'll just be friendly acquaintances. i'd also like to branch out and hang out with people from other buildings, but this group i've found myself in is very cliquey, and i feel like if i were to hang out with someone else, i'd either have to go alone, which might get awkward, or bring all seven of the others.</p>

<p>advice?</p>

2

<p>Didn’t read it, but could probably answer whatever it was about with ‘lack of social skills’. Seems to be the answer to just about every query on here.</p>

3

<p>okay…anyone who’d actually care to read the post and give a more helpful response than that? hahaha</p>

4

<p>i definitely understand what you’re saying. freshman year (if you’re not a freshman, sorry for assuming you are) is a very awkward time, and i found especially for me that it was a year with friendships out of convenience. if you don’t feel comfortable going out as much as the other girls do, then definitely hang back for a night- even if you’re by yourself. when most of my floor went out one night, i decided not to go and i ended up meeting one of my closest friends here because she didn’t go out either that night.
branching out can be kind of hard, but maybe you could go to lunch or dinner with some new people and bring the whole group along. it would probably be less awkward over a meal and with a larger group of people.
hope this helps! (and that it made sense, too.) good luck! it’ll all work itself out eventually.</p>