<p>Olive_Tree was stupified and turned into an Olive Tree (just like the legend of Apollo and the laurel tree). Justinian the cactus begged the Devil to be his pollen and decided to scatter candy which was poison that was quickly neutralized with olive oil. Suddenly kman1456 took a shotgun and fired it into the air as an enemy was coming towards him. The enemy turned out to be quite gregarious, and it was none other than the darkly handsome, man named Lorenzo, who came from the exotic island of Lollipopland. Inevitably, the candy man got banned and canned and spammed until he was choked by a malicious molecule that manifested into a mutiny that mutated out of the mayhem and munched like manakins that looked like fashionable mannequins that marched stupidly. They randomed all the bacon that the deacon made and flamed it onto this game with the Free-Response section and gutted the Multiple-Choice section and chose essays #2 and #7 to be graded by blind readers who gave scores that befit everybody's nightmares and turned Santa's test that's used to measure Justinian's shoe size, which unfortunately stank so much that the readers thought that a dungbumb had combusted in their lungs, producing phlegm and mercury droplets which caused severe mental retardation and itching in the navel and shriveled his ovaries and destroyed his white blood cells and caused him to grow a thick layer of fur that smelled of Titan Arum and belladonna, which soon attracted killer goldfishes who have quirky and creative ways of eating escargot and drinking sake and chasing swift-footed lioness up stone wall jackson and Robert E. Lee at Appomattox and got tried for trying to trick the trapezoid-shaped polygon into believing that it could add a perpendicular bisector to conical projections and turn it into this quacked up calculus joke someone posted in the HS forum on valentine's day because someone had too much free time and too much imagination and too much bodily stimulation and too fascinated by calculus and too good with words. So Someone decided to send his story to Stanford, hoping to woo the dean who coincidentally had the hobby of writing stories about certain applicants whom he finds fairly good-looking and very willing to do football, much to the dismay of his disapproving daughters who were told they must choose a suitable suitor from amongst the acceptees and dump the rejectees, whom they admired much more. Especially some genius socialite who raises pure-breed Physics Olympiad kids who also play piano like Chopin and Mozart and run as fast as the wind and leap like a flea and solve physics problems like Einstein and invent things like Edison and suave as James Bond. This bloke dazzled and wowed Dean Shaw, who automatically rejected him for being too perfect, because he himself is green with jealousy of his skills at attracting other beta particles to mix with his positively pudgy positrons to form new nutty neutrons, which desintegrated and shot out eleven eclectic eletrons and annihilated themselves on little lusterous leptons and gave birth to 6 children who were up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm and they made up a happy family who wore polka-dotted yellow bowties and overalls and played sousaphones while marching to Pomp and Circumstance - the original full version at 140 bpm and rushing wildly and tripping over the easy parts and having a heart failure over the sixteenth note runs and having tourettes over the quarter notes and hyperventilation from the ten whole notes tied together and muscular dystrophy from holding his sousaphone up too long. "What a day", he exclaimed while blowing the final measure of the piece. But then everyone had to play "Stars and Stripes Forever" with the piccolos in 8va and the flutes in 16va which destroyed everyones' eardrums within the fifty mile radius but didn't harm the audience, who were miraculously protected by an enormous bass drum which reflected the sound waves toward the offensive upper winds, but the heroic bass drummer was marching so fast to the rescue that he created the Doppler's Effect and compressed the sound waves so much that it created a sonic boom that crushed the string players' G strings exposing the musician's bodies to all of the audience, provoking a riot that only subsided when they were squeezed through a tuning pipe by the Squeeze Property and thus improved their ductility and made them almost frictionless on a massless pulley that exerted no force against their oversized surface perpendicular to the longitudinal axis at the prime meridian which crossed the Tropic of Capricorn in Brazil right at a soccer stadium during the World Cup and suffered a concussion when an Argentinian player kicked the ball at his head that was made out of lead and was stuffed with bread that smelled like dead, red Feds with heads so egoistical so they couldn't wed a woman in bed unless they've been led with a thread that said "Ted got laid and started to fade in the arcade until a raid of precious ivory and jade made him wade and cascade down a river of Kool-aid that bade his maid to braid without getting paid and prayed that today she would fall prey to the harmful ray that sprayed across the cay and upset the bay which allayed the troubled fears of those who knew not of the hemlock tree. For only the mystic gnome of the Far East could trump Justinian I into believing he is Celebrian while still possessing the looks of Mesuthelah, thus causing a deja vu and a temporal paradox after tumbling through a wormhole and causing major temporal discontinuities in his temporal lobe and having temporal amnesia at a prestissimo tempo and syncopated rhythm that says 'time to close this gigantic quotation, methinks.'" So Justinian closed the quotation and nearly perished due to the exertion on his bow-legged legs and begged Prepkid, who turned red as beet, to dance with Jimi at the middle school prom where they danced to the Charleston until QuizQuick, who was mighty and constipated after receiving the very shocking news that the moon was inhabited by green, greasy, grumpy, groggy, god-forsaken guys. He sent Justinian up in a starship to investigate and discovered that their colony was in dire shortage of eukaryotes so the colonists had to resort to using prokaryotes as a source but failed. Prepkid, however, with her great creativity, created a scheme to harvest the euglena and stentor organisms in a local pond. Then she caught Justinian I trying to pilfer a cell culture taken from the bladder of yet another CCer, KMK, who had accidentally taken too many diuretics and consequently... created the aforementioned "local pond." This was an odd case of effect preceding cause and was the result of the (again) aforementioned "temporal paradox," so Eternal Mistress of the Universe Purrli got mad and banned all time traveling and banished all the aforementioned adventurers to a temporal-resistant prison, where they were confined and tormented nightly by the dragons that guarded Mordor until they turned into Ringwraiths and gave birth to Horcruxes, one of which is Harry ate. Then, he woke up from this horrible dream- all this story was simply a crazy dream! But when he walked out of his abode, his saw, to his horror, that Justinian had brought his army and had laid fortifications around his garden. The army was comprised of thousands of beefy and rednecked Bible-thumpers the likes of him, all armed with kitanas, and copies of the "Origin of Species" on fire! They sat in a circle and recited the Mein Kampf and other passages from the Communist Manifesto and Das Kapital until their heads were filled with Nazi and Communist sayings that they entered a state of philosophical paradox and ended up believing that democracy was a mild form of dictatorship, and that a 1600 was still the best SAT score on the new SAT, or Harvard was the best college in Okinawa. One gloomy day, a very colorful and talkative toad sat on a poisonous toadstool who declared,"The atheist onslaught possesses chariots of iron and steel with a terrible resolve; but fear not, for behold, I am the archangel Michael bringing you tidings of the presence of the Lord." Justinian, knowing of Gods mercy and presence, knew that victory was certain. However, as it turned out, it was not be since the tabloids revealed that justinian's god wasn't really a god... but a false diety who's really a devil that liked to paint swastikas on their heads and terrorized CC younglings until they were perfect at drawing their integral signs and could gain admission to Duke with ease, and eventually it became a Duke requirement that all freshman must achieve competency at their mathematical penmanship or accept a minus on their letter grade and be burned at a stake made of natural logs. So eventually Justinian's army became the incoming class at Duke, all 1600 strong</p>
<p>Was I about to reveal this fact? :confused:</p>