<p>Early on in the college search my d ruled out LAC even though she probably would have gotten merit aid (strong student; strong scores; good ec's). She wants a traditional. large u. and major is undecided. I understand that and have supported her. Her geographical concerns narrowed due to hate of cold/hate to fly to schools on the West Coast. She does have ELC status for UC's so already has choices in Ca. Her dream would be UC Berkeley but that is a "crapshoot" re: getting in. She was accepted at UW and will hear from honors college later on. UO is an acceptance but probably will not go there. Parents dilemma: why pay for an OOS public univ. when she has good choices instate just to satisy the yearn to "go someplace else". As I've said to her...you like Seattle; go to grad school there or go live there after college. Location is minor relative to spending at least $10K more per year. What she doesn't quite get is that your college experience has more to do with the school you pick vs. the city you're in. She is trying very hard to hang in there with us but this is an issue of life experience which you just don't have when you're 17!</p>
<p>kind of same boat here, my son could attend in state and would be very cost effective for us (including automatic scholarships he would qualify for but even if not we have a prepaid tuition plan for him) but he has it in his head that he wants out of state in a large city...so the compromise we have is, we will look at out of state that offers good merit that he may qualify for. if he gets it and we can manage any left over costs he can go...if no significant merit aid, he will go instate. he understands the situation now (but initially very upset with those rules) and i will help every way i can to find schools and we can go visit, and do whatever he needs me to do to help in the search. He will eventually go to grad school and i feel really strongly that he needs to keep his undergrad costs as low as possible.</p>
<p>parent56, pretty much what we told ours, we would pay the instate tuition, room and board. If they went other places, they needed to make up the difference in merit awards. Each took that and did their own thing. We let them own the decision.</p>
<p>Our kids had to present some good reasons to convince us why we should pay more then we had to for their education. (We did not consider location, food and weather to be good enough reasons...)
All 3 ended up going to a school of their choice (a different one for each kid), but only after they convinced us that it was a better option in terms of education, not just in terms of their potential "college experience".</p>
<p>I think there are lots of families in this situation. Unfortunately, most OOS publics don't offer much merit aid and especially in this economy. We have made it clear what we are prepared to finance and our d is clear on that. We have also made it clear that we do not think burdening herself with loans just to be in what she thinks is a "cool place" is a good investment and she agrees with that as well. Hey, I moved from Chicago to SF after college and working for a year; lots of time to do lots of "cool things". If she was dying to be a neuroscientist perhaps we could be convinced which school had that program, but dying to be undecided in some other city doesn't cut it!</p>
<p>My solution would be to tell him that if he chooses the oos he will have to have some "skin in the game". Specifically I would require him to take loans to finance half of the differential cost up to about $5k/yr. If he is willing to do that then I would let him choose accordingly.</p>
<p>Crzymom, Check out the Western Undergraduate Exchange which allows students in western states to attend selected colleges for a small premium over in state students. WICHE</a> - Student Exchange Programs
OU is a participant. Unfortunately, UW is not.</p>
<p>We pretty much have given up on looking at OOS schools. Overall, they are no longer making themselves financially doable for our family.</p>
<p>For us it worked well: D' OOS University in MO will cost the same amount of money (including air tickets) as any UC because of merit scholarship she got there + less expensive dorm & meals. In UC she would not get any merit scholarship for sure, and we are not qualified for need-based.</p>
<p>It will also depend upon student stats. I have a son who is a B+ student with lukewarm standardized test scores (so far). If one has a student with higher stats the outcome can be much different.</p>
<p>OOS worked for one of my sons but the rules were the Scholarship and Aid $$ had to be significant and make it no more expensive than Instate costs. </p>
<p>It can be done but the choices do narrow quite a bit. We crossed off quite a few schools, including Univ. Washington, but he found a spot he loves at a reasonable cost. I am only paying 3K OOS tuition after scholarships and grants. His University basically met full need.</p>
<p>Son wanted to stay in the West and he had great offers from Arizona, UNLV, Western Washington, Utah, Washington State, Oregon State, and Univ of Wyoming. We did not apply to Univ of Oregon, no engineering, but that may be OK.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Her dream would be UC Berkeley but that is a "crapshoot" re: getting in
[/quote]
What about UCLA, UCSD, UCSB, UCD, UCI, UCSC...?</p>
<p>My Ds were both accepted to UCB but chose their respective UCs instead as do a number of other students. UCB is fine but it's not exactly leaps and bounds above, or that different from, several other UCs.</p>
<p>crzymom-exact same situation here! D is ELC for UC's but has wanted to go to UW for 2 years...Visited last Feb. and she fell in love, will visit again this Feb. to make sure she still feels the same. We had her visit UCB, Davis and UCSB for comparison. Actually Davis is her second choice over UCB and UCLA. We have tried to convince her to go to UC but to no avail. UW does not seem like it will give any money to OOS. It does seem like a good fit for her but I haven't said that directly to her. It is very hard to justify paying an extra ten grand and they don't have the 09-10 tuition rates posted yet. Ultimately, she is our third child (other two at UCLA and SDSU) and she has worked the hardest on her grades, she got good SAT's (studied on her own) and she has been self motivated all along so my husband said she could go to UW if that is where she wants to be. He did make the stipulation that she gets good grades or she is coming home and that any costs after 4 years are hers. The good thing is that the UW is still in the PAC 10 so we have most of the schools covered in our family (except UO and Oregon St.-but brother in laws kids are still young) LOL.</p>
<p>It would be a shame to turn down what most people consider to be the number one state when it comes to public education just because she wants something new and different. I would bring up the possibility of staying in-state with the understanding that she can search out opportunities for a semester or year abroad during her sophomore year. This would be a win-win situation--it would satisfy her adventuresome spirit and you would have your in-state tuition with a diploma from a top rate school. Nowadays, it's not unusual for students to do several study abroad programs, and most have said that it was a life-changing experience.</p>
<p>ucsc<em>ucla</em>dad....My preference is UCD, but she has UCB on the brain. Part of it is that she is an urban kid and isn't as keen on a college town. My opinion is that a college town is the best. Visited UCSD and it is a possibility; perhaps UCLA but that is a crapshoot as well. My son went to UCSC; it's not for her. She sort of limited her own choices after starting with a huge list. And, she has become the walking Fisk-guide for her classmates being familiar with all the stats, acceptance rates, etc. of a gizillion schools! Bottom line...she will be great wherever she goes and I do believe it will be "UC Somewhere".</p>
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<blockquote> <p>Part of it is that she is an urban kid and isn't as keen on a college town.>></p> </blockquote>
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<p>I understand your D's sentiment. Both of my kiddos attended undergrad in urban settings. Neither of them wanted to be in a little isolated college town. Both had good reasons for choosing the urban setting they chose (DD is an engineering major in the Silicon Valley, and DS a musician who chose Boston).</p>
<p>crzymom - Only $10K more per year? That's not much. Regardless, let me add my voice to those of prior posters who say "DD, if you want OOS that badly surely you won't mind helping to pay for it."</p>
<p>In some cases, OOS publics can be a wonderful bargain. My daughter is a non-resident at Kansas State University and K-State gave her terrific merit aid. Combine that with very inexpensive rates for room and board compared to our home state (Connecticut) and we're paying less than 10k/year out of pocket. D loves K-State and is getting a great education there. When it comes to getting merit aid from OOS publics, it helps if your child is well above the academic profile of the average student at the school and has a hook or two. Geographic diversity also plays a part if your home state isn't well represented at the OOS public under consideration.</p>
<p>^^ That's a good point - UCB's on-campus housing is very high so if she went to an OOS with significantly less expensive housing that could be a little bit of a cost offset.</p>
<p>I think this is a particular problem for CA residents: the state has probably the finest system of public universities on the planet. UW, UO are fine schools but they do offer pretty much the same experience as UCs for quite a lot more money. So I can see a parents' dilemma in this situation. </p>
<p>When my D was looking at schools, including OOS publics which were pricier but not necessarily any better than our flagship state U, husband I told her this: you had to have a very specific, concrete REASON to look out of state. It can't be just because you "want to go away" -- for many parents, a kid saying "I want to live in Seattle" isn't a whole lot different from saying "I want to live in Paris." In our family, the choice of school had to be justified: does the school offer something that the state U lacks? Are opportunities better? If money is an issue (and for most of us it IS) these are all questions a young person needs to ask or be asked. When my D balked at this type of thinking we had to tell her, as gently as possible: this is life. This is adult thinking. Choices have consequences we need to be aware of. It didn't necessarily make for a fun conversation but it was an important conversation. </p>
<p>In the end, D chose a private university on the other side of the country: a school no better than the home flagship U (in fact, lesser in prestige & recognition) but one that offered her grants that placed it within the costs of our state U. And it offered her paid internship opportunities she'd likely not have had at the state U. It was a good choice for D - but it was also a very THOUGHT OUT choice, which proved to be a major learning experience for us all.</p>